The Realm of Cloudiy Skye...

In train

2010-11-12T18:56:00.001+08:00

In train.

Sometimes I wonder why I must take the public transport. Then I remember that it is because I didn't want to go and learn driving. Sigh. It's so crowded in the train now and I'm going down to town to meet Xue. Stuck in a cabin filled with army guys. Dying of air pollution now.

Testing from phone

2010-10-23T01:18:00.004+08:00

Testing from phone.

I'm sitting in front of the tv watching my mtvs and trying to blog at the same time. Sigh.

Auckland

2010-10-20T15:20:00.005+08:00

Auckland.

I was in Auckland for a month this June. The company decided to send me there to learn new stuff so that I can implement the good practices from partner companies here.

I had to endure the freezing weather every day. God! It was really quite bad there that I wore 6 layers of clothes! My Kiwi colleagues told me that I was exaggerating as the weather was not even cold yet. According to them, it was still summer.

Despite this, I enjoyed my stay there though. The company provided 2 houses for me with domestic help. One was very near the city centre while the other was a little further. The only thing that was not provided for me was a car and a chauffeur. I had to take the public bus to work and back. On the days that it rained, I was stranded in the office lobby waiting for it to stop.

The people there are quite friendly. I've had people strike up conversations with me while waiting for buses and even when I was queuing up to buy things. Some people liked to tell me that "Hey! Your English is very good!" while I secretly rolled my eyes at it. I always replied with a very polite "Thank you!". Good God! Of course it's good! It's my first language for goodness sake!

The scenery was beautiful and I even went to Mata Mata to take a photograph with Gollum. I poked and hit him and all he did (or could do) was to look straight in front and grin wickedly. Xue was so jealous when she found out that I was there. I love the chicken and mushroom pie from the coffee shop across Gollum. Come to think of it, I love all the pies that I ate while I was in Auckland. You can't find any quite like them here.

The shopping there was nothing great. I spent most of my time at Foodtown shopping for groceries. Griffin's Hundreds and Thousands is the best I've tasted so far. The Australian one pales in comparison. I couldn't find much to buy on Queen Street except for Lush, which Xue loves. Newmarket was quite fun with all the food and especially, the bakery behind the bus stop that I took Bus 6 from.

I went to Rotorua with a few of my colleagues during the weekend of the Queen's birthday. The sulphur from the hot springs didn't affect me at all. I actually enjoyed it! I must have seen countless sheep, cows and horses on my way there and back. After a while, every place seemed to look the same from inside the car.

The only things I dislike about the place are lamposts that are few and far between and the fact that the shops close at 5pm or 5.30pm every day. Give me city life any day!

Study leave

2010-10-08T14:23:00.003+08:00

Study leave.

I received a letter in my tray that my study leave has been approved.

I was ecstatic when I read it. I can FINALLY leave to study for 2 years!

When I applied for it, my CEO asked me to stay and defer my studies for a few years. I replied that it has been 5 years since I graduated and if I do not go and study soon, I'll lose my interest in studying.

On one hand, I felt flattered that the company thinks so highly of me and wants me to stay. On the other hand, I felt annoyed. Wasn't there anybody else who can do my job? Does it want to squeeze every ounce of blood from me before it is satisfied?

I am getting very jaded with what I have to do every day. I think that I need a place to recuperate and gain fresh ideas before I decide whether to return to the company after my studies.

I told Xue that if I had a chance, I would not want to return to it at all. If I had a better offer, I never want to return to this company again.

I think that I am in it for the money, really, and the flexible work hours. It'll be difficult to find a job with such a pay and the hours. Sigh...

Happy birthday to me!

2010-10-02T22:18:00.001+08:00

Happy birthday to me!

A year has come and gone.

What do I actually want in my life?

Sometimes, it just seems pretty aimless for me. I just don't know what I want to do any more.

Then and Now.

2009-11-11T22:21:00.004+08:00

Then and Now.

The past few years were really hectic for me. What with having to stand on my own feet and understanding what I have to do, I realised that time actually flew by when I was very busy.

It's been nearly four and a half years since I graduated and I am enjoying my job and everything that comes with it. The pay, the perks, the people and even the dirt that I have to clean up when others do not do their job. It really is nice to know that I have my family, friends and colleagues to depend on for help and to cheer me up whenever I sink to the doldrums.

Recently, I've been thinking about going back to school to further my studies. I think that I need to be with the books again. Somehow or other, I feel that I need to start before my memory fails me.

I'm back!

2009-11-09T22:37:00.003+08:00

I'm back!

After a few years away, I'm finally back!

Thanks be to God. :0)

Dad’s birthday.

2006-08-19T23:08:00.000+08:00

Dad’s birthday.

It was dad’s birthday yesterday and we went for dinner at his favourite hawker stall at Whampoa Food Centre. It’s the one with the fish head steamboat that we always patronise whenever anyone has a craving for it. The entire food centre is undergoing renovation now, so all the stalls had been moved to a temporary place about 200 metres further up from its old site.

I paid for the dinner when the bill came and you should have seen dad smiling away. He didn’t want anything fancy for his birthday, just something simple and inexpensive.

I received a surprise this morning when we went to the bank and he transferred いちまん to Xue's and my bank account. The personal banker was like, “Wah, a gift from daddy ah?” I find that it’s nothing great anyway.

We went for dinner at a Teochew restaurant called Hung Kang opposite Hong Lim Park tonight. My parents had booked a table there last week and we invited my uncle, his girlfriend and my auntie along. My gran wasn’t feeling well, so she didn’t attend. The food’s not bad actually. This is the only Teochew restaurant that my dad loves and one that we’ll go to when he wants to eat plain Teochew cooking in Singapore.

If you CANNOT see the Japanese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE' (UTF-8).

Food, bags and clothes. What else?

2006-08-18T23:58:00.000+08:00

Food, bags and clothes. What else?

I took time-off from work to go shopping with my mum and Xue today. We headed to Kuriya restaurant at City Hall for lunch because my mum wanted to try the food there. Yup, the food sure is good there and I especially like the creamy croquette and salmon sashimi. I didn’t get to try the grilled ice-cream because I was too filled up with all the great food.

We went shopping after lunch and Xue went to Agnes B to buy a bag that she wanted. I have 4 of the same bag, though in different colours. She wanted one that is big enough to put her file and school stuff, like the big one that I always carry to work. Tough luck for her as the shop ran out of the black bag with blue handles that she likes. So she had to settle for the khaki one with yellow lining and teal-coloured handles instead. Much as I do not need the bags, I still bought two from that shop and another one when I went to the other outlet at Isetan Wisma later on.

I popped by Raoul Paragon to see Lisa and bought a couple of shirts from her. One was a short-sleeved blue-striped one while the other was a halter-necked purple-striped one with lace trimmings down the front where the buttons are. I later went to Prints to buy some presents for my former tutors as Teacher’s Day is approaching.

Mrs Seah. AS IF!

2006-08-17T23:40:00.000+08:00

Mrs Seah. AS IF!

Now, DD is an extremely annoying person, if what happened today is anything to go by. Around 3.20pm today, I had to go to a couple of my colleagues' desks to deliver some stuff to them. On my way there, inevitably, I had to pass by DD’s table as his is just across the aisle from their tables.

One thing you must know is that I wear slippers, flip-flops, in the office as they are more comfortable than heels. So naturally, people will be able to hear the flip-flop sounds that my slippers make. When I walked past his table, he had to comment, “It must be her, because she is the only one in the entire office who wears flip-flops around.”

I: “What business is it of yours whether I wear flip-flops or not?”

DD: “It’s very irritating and noisy.”

I: “They don’t seem to irritate other people at all. You are the only one who is irritated by my flip-flops. Anyway, why do you spend your time noticing what I’m wearing?”

I got so fed-up with him that I quickly delivered the stuff and went back to my table. I am SSSSOOOOOO glad that our tables are on different levels. Otherwise I will be subjected to such verbal torture everyday.

When I walked past DD’s table some time later to put some documents on A’s table, he wasn’t around. Thank God! But Fairy Godfather (FG) was around and he had heard what transpired between DD and I earlier on from the other colleagues. They were laughing their heads off when they heard the exchanges between DD and I. Duh! He started making fun of me and that made my blood boil.

I: “Eh, why don’t you go and be with DD? He and you seem perfect for each other.”

FG: “Funny, that’s what DD said about the two of you!”

I: “ARGH! SHADDUP! DO NOT say my name with his in a sentence!”

FG: “No, I won’t, MRS SEAH!”

I: “Excuse me, what did you just call me?”

FG: “Nothing, nothing. I was just saying how nice it sounds to call you Mrs Seah.”

I: “YUCKS! I’d much rather be Mrs Lee or Mrs Tan or maybe even Mrs Lim or any other surname but NOT his!”

FG: “Mrs Seah is quite nice what.”

I: “Get lost and go and die lah!”

I showed him the middle finger before leaving. This is really so not my day. I have to meet two asinine people consecutively and listen to their nonsense. Think I have to go home and wash my ears thoroughly!

Glad to be out.

2006-08-16T23:58:00.000+08:00

Glad to be out.

Much as I love studying at the university, I finally feel happy to have graduated. After 4 years there and being pampered by my professors, I think that it’s time I learn how to stand on my own feet.

I’ve been learning to crawl since I graduated and I can proudly say that as of today, I have finally learned how to walk. Though these initial steps may be arduous, I know that I will not give up; that I will persevere, no matter now bad the terrain is and how harsh the criticisms can be. I know that I will be able to walk without having anyone to hold my hand anymore.

God has shown me that in the 400 or so days after my graduation, I could overcome the little trials that he sent my way. He told me that as long as I believe in myself, I will surpass whatever hurdle that he puts before me. He has stood by me during my darkest moments to comfort and walk me through the abyss. I am grateful for the love that he has showered me, thankful for the patience that he has taught me and the wisdom that I have gleamed from his lessons.

I know better now, why I was so reluctant to enter the workforce last year. It was because I had been accustomed to an easy life in school, that I sought shelter in it. I was trying to escape the reality that work would bring as it would then jolt me out of my reverie into the naked truth of life. I am an escapist, period. Do I still want to pursue my studies? Of course I want to. But only when I am able and ready to do it because I feel that the time is right for me and not because I want to escape the frustrations of work and all other kinds of unhappiness that it may bring. Doing something just because I want to escape from another is not going to bring me anywhere. What it will do is to saddle me with a heavy heart and make me brood over things which I should not be thinking about.

刚才看到了那些网页时，仿佛突然惊醒似的。我感觉到我从此也不是那里的一分子了。从前在那个地方感受过的快乐，现在也随风而去。那里的东西全都变了，尽管是人是物，都有了新脸孔，就好像变得陌生的是我，而不是他们。我终于了解为何我对那里的人和事都漠不关心了。

因为时间已经开始慢慢的冲淡一切。而我对那里的那份情意已经渐渐的消失了。

没了他和它，我还能够继续开开心心地活下去的。我已经开始走自己的路了。而这一段路是稳还是崎岖不堪的山路，我并不知道。可是，有一点我是非常清楚的：我这一趟旅程是必须由自己走下去的。这，才是我生命的起点。

If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE' (UTF-8).

A stupid guy!

2006-08-15T19:30:00.000+08:00

A stupid guy!

I was walking on the ground floor of the building during my tea break when I saw a few people crowding around in a corner. Being a “kaypoh” Singaporean, of course I had to see what the fuss was all about.

When I reached the corner, I saw a pool of blood and this guy lying on the floor faced up and one of my colleagues was pressing a piece of cloth on his forehead. Someone had already called for the ambulance and it soon arrived to take the guy to the hospital.

Rumours abound over his accident. One version was that he was walking and he hit the wall, but I didn’t see any blood on the wall. Another one was that he was running and he hit somebody else. Hmm… I wonder who the other victim is. When I asked my colleague who was the one pressing the cloth over his forehead, she said that she didn’t know how the accident occurred. She just saw the guy bleeding on the floor and rushed to help. Oh well, we’ll probably know the full story soon anyway.

Later on in the afternoon, I went to the Asian Civilisation Museum (ACM) at Empress Place to look at some of the exhibits for work. I have never been there and I was glad for a chance to view the exhibits. They really have some lovely artworks there!

Vietnam coffee.

2006-08-14T22:59:00.000+08:00

Vietnam coffee.

My colleague, V, surprised my by putting two sachets of Vietnam coffee on my table today. She said that they were from Dr L, my Pragmatics tutor.

Apparently, she is taking an English course taught by him. V happened to ask him whether he knows this little girl by the name of “…”. Dr L said that he knows me and asked V to pass me the coffee that he bought when he went to Vietnam over the June holidays.

Thank you, Dr L!

Here kitty, kitty!

2006-08-13T15:44:00.000+08:00

Here kitty, kitty!

Right, I was sitting in front of the television watching the news or something when out of the corner of my eye, I saw this black thing going into the kitchen. I turned to see what it was and it turned out to be a kitten!

Yup, this little grey and white thing was looking lost and trying to find its bearings. She was gazing at my kitchen and went to nose the bags of food that my mum had dumped on the floor. Xue took the clothes pole and tried to shoo it away, but it went and hid under the sofa instead. So I went to open a new packet of milk, poured some into a plastic jelly cup and placed it in front of the cat.

She sniffed a little before licking lapping it up. She was so soft to carry and looked so cute! I wished that she were my cat. Too bad, I already have Glutton and Meerkat. Otherwise I would have adopted her straight away. She was so docile and did not wriggle hard when I picked her up with one hand on her butt and the other holding her front.

Xue and I suspected that it belonged to one of the neighbours because we had seen a similar cat but bigger in size (probably it’s her mother) outside one of the doors before. So I carried her and the jelly cup out of my house and placed her near that particular door. When it heard the gate opening, she dashed past the flowerpots I think, into the house. By that time, I was already walking back to my own house so I didn’t see whether she actually entered that house or not.

Thief, thou shalt not covet my stuff!

2006-08-12T22:17:00.000+08:00

Thief, thou shalt not covet my stuff!

During one of the meetings last week, I was asked to share my PowerPoint presentations and other documents with the rest of the company. Apparently one of the people from the upper management was so impressed with my presentations and she wanted me to share it with the rest of the staff.

I’ve heard a lot of things about some people plagiarising the work of others in the company, from my friends. Poor souls! They were the ones who got ripped off by some of the “parasites” and they advised me to lock whatever documents that I want to share before depositing them into the company’s intranet. My close pal at the company, MH, told me to put my name on every single slide and page so that others know that the information belongs to me.

MH said that her Word document on some statistical stuff got “stolen” by one of the colleagues and it was passed off as that person’s work! She was fuming mad when she told me about it. It seems that some people are not above coveting the work of others. Sheesh! I thought that only students at the university would plagiarise stuff. It has never occurred to me that people at the workplace would do it too. I guess that I’m too naive.

So what did yours truly do to prevent people from stealing and editing my stuff to pass off as theirs? I went to buy the Adobe Creative Suite 2 Premium edition to lock all my information today! Heeheehee!

It comes with six other programmes and lots of free stuff. It cost me S$629 for this suite, but Xue and I feel that it’s really worth the money. This is because each set of software is selling at about S$250 at the shops and I paid a way lesser amount to get the good stuff. It has Acrobat 7.0 Professional, Photoshop, Illustrator, InDesign, GoLive, Version Cue, Bridge and Stock Photos. I have yet to try out the others, but I really love Acrobat 7.0 Professional!

It allows me to lock my documents with passwords and I can even prevent people from printing them! HA! So far, what I’ve done is to put passwords to prevent people from editing and printing my stuff. I don’t think that I want to prevent people from opening my documents yet. That is, until they irritate me or, until I start to dislike them.

STUPID Haircut!!

2006-08-10T17:51:00.000+08:00

STUPID Haircut!!

I went to get my hair cut this afternoon and the guy cut it wayyyyyyyyy too short! ARGH! Now I'm stuck with looking like an alien until it grows back again!

This is really frustrating!

Okay, it's not so bad when people tell me that I look like a secondary student. Heehee! I'm fine with that when I'm dressed in jeans and T-shirt. NOT so when I have to dress up for work tomorrow! Can you imagine a person wearing office clothes aka executive dress and looking like a teenager???!!!

Sigh... Who's going to take me seriously like this?

Speak Good English Movement.

2006-07-25T22:48:00.000+08:00

Speak Good English Movement.

I was invited to the launch of the Speak Good English Movement today at the National Library. One of my senior colleagues and I met up at the MRT station to go there early in the morning. We had to attend the minister dialogue that was off limits to the press and public with RAdm Lui Teck Yew. The audience consisted mainly of principals, heads of departments of English, teachers and some people from the media and the private sector. It was held in a room on the 16th storey of the library with restricted access. I could see the beautiful view of the Esplanade from there. At the viewing gallery, there was even a map indicating the location of buildings and their names.

I met Dr L and Dr M, my English professors there. Dr L was one of the panel members together with the minister, a lady from the Education ministry and one of my former teachers from the primary school, Mrs B. It was an enriching experience sitting there and listening to the views of the educators and the roles they play to encourage their pupils to speak proper English. An English that is of “international intelligibility” and not one with an accent.

Their slogan is quite catchy, “Be understood. Not only in Singapore, JB and Batam.” Heehee! At the launch which was later on in the morning, it was held at the ground floor of the library. I enjoyed the show thoroughly as it was hilarious, especially when Hossan Leong performed the part of “Bobby”, a student trying to speak good English depending on the context. I liked Robin Goh’s rendition of “It had to be you” when he opened the show. Highly entertaining!

Racial Harmony Day.

2006-07-21T18:02:00.000+08:00

Racial Harmony Day.

I had to attend some racial harmony thing today for about an hour or so in the morning. Some people were presenting on the importance of maintaining racial harmony not only among friends, but also among colleagues. So my supervisor asked me to help out with the presentation in front of the company. My job was to ensure that the PowerPoint presentation slides were running in order and to be beside the computer to fix any problems should they occur.

I had been running about prior to the start of the presentation to make sure that everything was settled, so by the time I reached the presentation place I was pretty heated up. All of us were in the room and since I couldn’t cool down fast enough, I resorted to fanning myself using a few pieces of paper while the presentation was going on.

There were a few presenters and by the time the whole thing ended, I had finally cooled down and my face was no longer that pink anymore. When I walked past DD’s (Donald Duck) table on my way to one of my colleagues’ table, DD asked me why I was fanning myself so furiously during the whole stretch of the presentation.

I: “What has my fanning myself got to do with you?”

DD: “It’s very distracting and irritating you know.”

I: “Why were you staring at me during the whole presentation then??”

DD: “No what. Because there there’s not much choice to choose from between you and the presenter.”

I: “Then can’t you pay attention to the presenter (some higher management guy) instead of me? I mean, he’s so much more interesting than I right?”

DD: “Because you were distracting me with your fanning what.”

I: “You are very weird you know. I don’t have other people asking me why I was fanning myself at all. Obviously it must have been because I was very warm right? That’s the only logical explanation for my fanning anyway.”

And with that, I walked away to my colleague’s table. Sheesh! I’m just wasting my breath and time arguing with him over such a trivial matter. The guy is nuts anyway.

Fixing the wardrobe.

2006-06-17T23:36:00.000+08:00

Fixing the wardrobe.

I bought the stuff for my wardrobe from Ikea last week and Xue and I have been hard at work trying to set it up ever since. God! It’s tough having to hammer the nails and other things into the different parts of the wood. We had to use my dad’s power drill to put holes into the planks for the doors.

Eh, I’ll not buy any wardrobe or cupboard from them again. If I do, I’ll pay for them to set up the things for me so that I do not have to spend the time and energy to fix the stuff. But hard work aside, Xue and I had an extremely good time bonding with each other as we joked and laughed away.

Farewell, thy sweet child.

2006-04-24T21:28:00.000+08:00

Farewell, thy sweet child.

Early this morning, we were told that someone’s child has passed away of cardiac arrest yesterday. Some people were shocked at the news as the child had always been in the pink of health. I don’t remember seeing that child and even if I did, I am unable to recall her face, much less remember whose child it was. But I heard from others that she was a very obedient child who liked to tie her hair in two plaits and was very sweet too. She was only 8 years old and a primary two pupil.

When I heard the news, I wasn’t shocked like many people. Neither did I have a sharp intake of breath. I think that I accepted the news calmly. Anyway, the body language of that person telling my colleagues and I already gave the show away – that he was a messenger of bad news. At that time when the guy said, “I’m so sorry to tell you…” he was looking down at the table and had his palms clasped together. If it weren’t a matter of life and death, he wouldn’t be looking like that.

Apparently she was sick for the past two weeks and was on the verge of recovery when she had a relapse. She was admitted to KK Hospital on Saturday night. Her mother informed her form teacher only yesterday, who then notified the Principal and some other people from school to attend her wake.

I feel sorry for her, someone who is unable to experience the wonders that Life has to offer. To be snatched from the prime of youth when she had everything going for her. Sometimes, Life is just unfair to us mortals.

Why deprive a child of her life when she has so much worth to live for? Why can’t it take away the life of someone who is unwilling to live?

梦。

2006-04-23T22:51:00.000+08:00

梦。

前几晚我梦见了一件奇怪的事。那就是我独自推着一架婴儿的推车，里头躺着一个细小的男婴，绕着一个弯。走着，走着，就不晓得应该往哪里去。那宝宝很乖，无论我怎么走，他都静静地在推车里，一声也没哭出来。

那婴孩就是我的，而我就是他的母亲。

不知怎的，我们母子俩就一直沿着那个弯前进。我心里丝毫知道我必须带着孩子去寻找一个人。直到找到他未止，我不能够放弃。路怎样的遥远，怎样的辛苦，我都不可以放弃，不可以停止。否则，我们母子俩的幸福，那么一点点的希望，就会消失到无影无踪了。

我记得当眼前浮现了一个男人的影子时，宝宝就开始呼唤我了。我虽然看不清楚那个人的脸，但我知道他很有可能是我在找寻的人。

我把宝宝抱了起来，温柔地跟他说话。看到宝宝那甜蜜的笑容，第一次当人母的我仿佛感觉到母爱的伟大。这么一个细小的玩意儿竟然需要我来保护他，爱着他。就好像他是我的全世界，而我会用我一生一世的时间来爱他，教导他，培育他成才。把宝宝抱入怀中的我，就像抱着希望似的。

这，是不是每一位母亲所感觉到的呢？

我不知道我们在找的人是谁。是孩子的父亲还是另有其人，这答案我就无法解答了。但我知道那男人的背影是非常地熟悉的，而我就是好像在生命的莫一个阶段曾和他结过缘。

当我梦醒时，我还未曾找到我要找的人。我只深深地记得，我是抱着宝宝醒来的。

If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE' (UTF-8).

Poster girl!

2006-04-22T09:13:00.000+08:00

Poster girl!

On the Thursday before Good Friday, I had to attend a photo shoot for the company. Apparently, the top management wanted to promote some core values or bits of their mission statement, so they got some of us to be the models. Sheesh! It’s not as if the company is poor. Why can’t it just hire some models for the photo shoot??!! So poor little me and a few of my colleagues had to slip into our casual wear for the occasion. I was in my polo tee and jeans, though you can’t see my bottoms.

Thank God it was pretty fast. I certainly do not fancy having to sweat under the limelight. Furthermore, the photography team was very friendly to talk, unlike some of the photography people I’ve come into contact with before.

The photographs will be edited and made into banners to be hung “conspicuously” at the company’s premises. That’s what we were told. When I received the sample picture in my inbox this morning, I was relieved to see that only my profile will be featured. Can you imagine how IDIOTIC, SPASTIC, ASININE, INSIPID, etc… I would look if I had my full face and body plastered across the banner and hung about every nook and cranny of the building for all to see??????!!!!!!!!!!!!

Standby for Election.

2006-04-19T22:41:00.000+08:00

Standby for Election.

My friend said that she received an email from her election group today, to be on standby for election duty for the next two to four weeks. She said that all leave is cancelled for the coming weeks and application for leave is on a case-by-case basis.

I hope that I can get to cast my vote at this election. I mean, what’s the use of attaining my legal age when I cannot get to vote? I WANT TO VOTE! I hope and pray and wish that it would not be a walkover for my constituency. It’s no fun to watch other people vote and you cannot do the same.

My primary school principal.

2006-04-18T20:47:00.000+08:00

My primary school principal.

I was at the reception this afternoon handling some documents when this familiar looking lady walked in. I looked at her and said, “Mdm Gomez?” She smiled at me and asked me for my name and the year that I graduated from IJ. She was surprised that I recognised her. I told her that I never forget a face, especially that of my teachers. Moreover, she was my principal when I was in IJ primary.

I’m glad I saw her again. She asked me whether I had been back to IJ to see the new school buildings and I replied in the negative. I said that I’ll try and visit IJ when I can find the time to do so. Anyway, I have to wait and see when my ex-classmates are free to go with me. I don't want to go back alone, especially since Auntie Gail is no longer there. IJ just doesn’t feel like IJ anymore. Many of the teachers there are new ones, especially in the primary school. At least some of my former teachers are still teaching in the secondary school.

I asked Mdm Gomez about my primary one teacher, Ms Hazel de Souza. I was saddened to hear that she is now wheelchair bound. She told me that she will let me have Ms de Souza’s number the next time she comes by the office. I miss my primary one teacher very much. She was an excellent teacher, very patient, kind but a strict disciplinarian. A primary one teacher for more than thirty years, before she retired. She had taught in the Town Convent before the school moved to its present location.

I remember that I was in primary one Hibiscus that year and my classmates and I used to stand in awe of our form mistress. There was a Ms Adeline Tan teaching P1 Lily and a Ms Celine Koh teaching P1 Orchid, Grace’s class. They were both extremely strict but nice teachers. That time when all the primary one pupils had to take the injection, Ms de Souza hugged me and patted me on my shoulder to comfort me. That is something I will never forget. I was surprised and touched that my strict teacher could be so nice to us.

What wouldn't I give to be in her class once more? To sit on the floor with 44 of my other classmates, who are scattered all over the globe now, listening to Ms de Souza’s lessons and her stories. To see her use the wooden ruler to teach us how and where to draw lines. To wonder why she always wears dresses and court shoes and never pants and slippers. To be scolded by her for misbehaving. To have her pin my written work titled “My Mother” on the quilt along the corridor for everyone to admire. To line up in twos with my finger on my lips and holding my partner’s hand as we move as a class from one place to another. To listen to her sing the hymns and go for Communion during Masses. To love her like she loved us.

Dear God, please look over my teacher and keep her in good health. Do not take her away from the people who need her.

It’s a small world after all.

2006-04-15T23:58:00.000+08:00

It’s a small world after all.

I went out with Ying and Lil today. They were on the lookout for shoes, bags and clothes, while I only wanted to buy clothes. I haven’t been out with them for some time and I was glad for the day that we spent together. At least we all managed to make time for each other in spite of our busy schedules, never mind that it was only for a day.

Sometimes the people who you want to meet will never appear in front of you, but the people who you have no wish to see will just suddenly appear. Of all the people in Singapore, I had to see my fourth uncle and his wife. Sheesh! It’s not that I dislike them or something, but I just don’t like to be put through the third degree when we meet. I also met PQ and her hubby. She seemed slightly fatter and I wonder whether she is pregnant. I hope she is. Then I can play with her baby! I love babies, that is, until they start to cry and get dirty, that’s when I usually yell for the mother to take her child back. :0)

Poor Yee! She has got the chickenpox! She messaged me to say that she came down with a fever on Thursday before breaking out in spots yesterday. She really got it bad. Spots everywhere on her body, especially her face. Uh oh. I was out with her on Tuesday when she went to make her glasses. Ah well, if I ever get it, I do not have to go to work! Heeheehee!

A cosy trio.

2006-04-13T23:21:00.000+08:00

A cosy trio.

I went out with my Mum and Xue after work today. We went to Marina Square for our dinner and I bought a red dress from Zara. It was a beautiful one as the cut of the dress complimented my figure well. Especially since I took and smallest size. I had wanted the XS size but it doesn’t come in that at all. The Small size that I bought was a little loose but I’d rather have it slightly loose than tight anyway.

We were actually on the lookout for white long-sleeved shirts for Xue as her graduation is approaching and she needs one. Unfortunately for her, we couldn’t find the perfect one for her. When we spied one that looked good on her, it didn’t have her size. When her size was available, the shirt wasn’t to her liking. Sigh…

I found this cute Astro Boy shop. I love the statue of Astro! He’s so かわいい! すき、すき、すきだいよ！

If you CANNOT see the Japanese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE' (UTF-8).

The dirty school.

2006-04-10T19:03:00.000+08:00

The dirty school.

One of my friends, who is a teacher, told me that there are at least 15 cases of Hand, Foot and Mouth Disease (HFMD) at her school. She wonders why the school is still functioning when some of the childcare centres have shut their doors. If I were her, I would pray for the school to be closed so that it can be thoroughly cleaned. Otherwise, the pupils and teachers will remain exposed to the disease.

I seriously do not think that her school will close even when the number of HFMD cases increases to 20, 25 or more. Joke aside, her school really IS dirty, as she has at least one case every week since the start of everything. Come on, the rate of infection is low and is not even like 5% of the school’s population of 1000 or maybe 2000. So I do not think that it will be closed at all. Moreover, it’s not a childcare centre, but a primary school.

I know that she’s hoping against hope that her school will be closed because of HFMD. But I told her that she might have to pay back the lost days during the June holidays. In this way, she might have a very short vacation then and can’t go out with me! I remember when SARS hit Singapore in 2003, my former teachers had to pay back the lost weeks with one to two weeks of their June holidays. Talk about time wasted.

Timeout at Meritus.

2006-04-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

Timeout at Meritus.

I left the office early today as I was meeting Jos and Xue to go shopping downtown. Somehow or other, we didn’t buy anything but ended up at Meritus Mandarin’s Observation Lounge after dinner, for drinks. And that’s not the only thing that we had. I love their ham and salmon sandwiches! They were delicious! But I disliked the plate of cakes that we ordered. They were not to our liking at all.

Sometimes, it feels so good to just kick back my shoes and relax. I think that I really am too stressed up with work recently and have not been allowing myself the time to rest. Perhaps if I went on an overdrive, the company might pay for my expenses that IMH. Ah, that is worth considering.

The lounge revamped their menu and the Little India drink that we usually ordered was gone. So Xue had to settle for the Lychee Martini, while Jos took Shirley Temple. Me? I ordered Zombie as I needed something slightly stronger than my usual standard drink, and yet one that is not over the top. There was certainly a lot of rum in it but it tasted fine. Xue was fascinated by her Lychee Martini because it was served in this Zen looking black teapot, which she had to pour into a little cup with one sliced lychee. Eh, her store of Martini seemed to be refilled with every pour. We wondered when we’d be able to drain the teapot every time Xue poured a little out.

Of the three of us, I got landed with the biggest cup. It actually looked like a table vase. Big and tall. And guess who got the reddest face at the end of the night? Sigh… I usually don’t turn red at all, though pink is normal.

Holidays, I beg thee to arrive!

2006-04-04T20:55:00.000+08:00

Holidays, I beg thee to arrive!

I simply cannot wait for the holiday to arrive next week! At least I’ll be getting some rest, hopefully. Otherwise I’ll just be stuck in the office and rotting away.

There seems to be more work to do these days. I have a stack of documents to process and they are accumulating in my IN tray. It’s not as if that I’m slacking or something, but the work seems to me to be never ending and I’m caught in the middle trying to wade my way through the mountain-load of papers.

If only there were more public holidays in our calendar. Then, I’ll have something great to look forward to when I’m at the office.

My friends seem to have the same problem too. An is getting really tired with work and she is desirous of changing to a completely new kind of job. But she can’t, though, not at the moment. And neither can I, because we have signed on the dotted line and have to work till the day our contracts end.

Compliments, again.

2006-03-28T20:37:00.000+08:00

Compliments, again.

I wore my flowing black striped Zara dress to work today. It’s the wrap kind and I had to tie it really tight at the waist to prevent my breasts from peeking out of it.

My colleagues who saw me complimented me on my dress. They said it suited me very well. A few of them said that I remind them of the past, of Marilyn Monroe. Hee hee hee! They asked me where I bought it from and I said Zara. I tell you, they are really into my clothes. Every time I wear something new to work, there’ll be someone asking me HOW MUCH my clothes cost! And they would baulk at the price of my clothes. Sheesh!

And these people are not the normal basic credit card holders. They are the Gold, Black and Platinum card holders. So I cannot understand the fuss they make when I tell them the cost of my clothes. Sigh…

As with every other Tuesday, I had a compulsory meeting in the afternoon, where all the upper management would sit down with the rest of the middle management to discuss company issues. Many of them told me that I looked beautiful in my dress, to which I thanked them their compliments. Even my supervisor said that I looked very pretty. One of them, SE and my colleague, LBO, said that they never knew that I was so well-endowed and had such a small waist! Hahaha!

When I went back and told Xue, we both rolled our eyes and laughed aloud! ^_^

Happy Birthday, Xue!

2006-03-26T23:59:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday, Xue!

It’s Xue’s birthday today, so Jos and I celebrated it with her over a high tea buffet at Marriott. Jos bought her this Sylvanian Families toyhouse with a baby white rabbit in it. We made Xue unwrap her present before we started eating and I took photos of her as she opened it. She look ecstatic with her present! Me, I shared with my mum and got her a chain and pendant set from the jeweller’s.

We spent the day chatting, eating and shopping. After food, we attacked the shops and spent a very long time at Zara’s. Jos and I paraded in different clothes while Xue commented on them. I ended up buying a dress and co-ordinates from the store. Although we reached home extremely late, what with me having to work the next day, but we still managed to blow the candles on her birthday cake before the clock struck twelve!

Surprise.

2006-03-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

Surprise.

Last Tuesday, I met up with Xue and Jos together with DD. On the train ride to town, he had told me that he would buy the Marks and Spencer’s Butter Mint sweets and share with me when he bought it. I told him that it’s alright, as there was no hurry. Anyway, I was joking with him that I wanted to eat the sweets then. They may be my favourite but I can always but them on my own.

Imagine my surprise when he stopped me this morning at the entrance to the office and said “Skye! Come, come! I’ve got something for you!” I was wondering what it was until he took the packet of sweets out of his bag, opened it and put it in front of me! Eh, that was really startling. I didn’t expect him to remember what I said after so many days. And to think that he actually brought the packet and offered it to me so early in the morning.

What can I do when a packet of sweets is shoved under my nose? Why, take it of course! I took two of them and thanked him for them. By this time, some of my colleagues were streaming in and saw DD holding the sweets, so I told them that he was giving out sweets and to take from him!

I didn’t see his reaction as I had left for my table, on another level, but SH told me that when he didn’t offer to anybody else at all. She said she was annoyed with him for not sharing his sweets. Hahaha! :0)

Aversion.

2006-03-20T01:01:00.000+08:00

Aversion.

I really, really dislike my work.

I do the same thing daily and it’s getting on my nerves. I can never comprehend why people can do this kind of work day in and out, for more than twenty years. Doesn’t it get monotonous after a while? Doesn’t it get boring at all?

My work is not challenging, no siree. I am, in a way, quite dissatisfied with working life. I never expected it to be like this – full of constraints and a mountain-load of things to do. It’s like an endless pit, it just goes on and on, nonstop. It’s as if I’m trapped here and can’t get out. I feel stifled and robbed of my life.

If I had a choice, I would not choose to be in this profession again. I don’t want it at all. What is there to make me happy at the end of the day? Nothing. What is there to remind me of my lost youth? Plenty. Frankly, I am suffering from Job Dissatisfaction Syndrome. There doesn’t seem to be anything worthwhile for me to hold onto workwise.

What I am mildly glad for is my pay. Do you know that I am just simply waiting for my pay to be credited into my bank account every month? I live for my salary. No other company pays me this amount for whatever little experience that I have. For without the thought of my pay to see me though all the hopeless nights, I might have checked myself into IMH by now.

I really, really wished I were somewhere else and doing some other kind of work that I like, other than being stuck here. My job is one of the thankless kinds, where I have to interact with people of a different and often, lower frequency from mine. I also have to put up with the inane flow of complaints and grumbles about other people, when it doesn’t even concern me in the first place. It’s NOT fun! I want a fun job! I want a job where I can be happy. At this rate that I am going, I am just thankful if I can get out of this game alive when my contract ends.

I want to study. I want to be able to learn more about the subjects that I like. I want to feed my mind with the things that are being argued by the leading people in the field. I want to be able to participate actively in research of my choice. I want to contribute to my chosen field.

I do not want to be shackled to my job. I do not want to be doing it like a robot. I do not want to grow old at my job. That is the greatest fear that I think some people might have – that you go on toiling at your job without even realising any part of your dream, your ambition. That you are just another face that fades along with the passing of time. That no one will remember you long after you are gone.

And I don’t want that. Not at all. Not for all the money in the world.

I want out.

Graduation pictures.

2006-03-19T18:31:00.000+08:00

Graduation pictures.

The studio called me to remind me to collect my pictures which have been framed up nicely, last week. So, after breakfast today, we headed for the studio to collect them. Eh, they are really HUGE! Now I wonder where in the house I can hang them.

I had an album of some of my graduation pictures made too. It’s an 8R album and I still have quite a few empty leaves left. The salesgirl told me that I can always return to fill them up. That is, provided that I wash my own 8R photos before getting the studio to laminate and stick the photos into my album. There is an extra charge, but I cannot remember the cost. Ah well, I’ll ask the salesgirl when I want to add the photos in future.

To the theatre I go!

2006-03-16T22:01:00.000+08:00

To the theatre I go!

I finally get to have a break! Yippee!

I went out with Yee to watch 2 plays today. One was in the morning, by The Little Company (TLC), called “The Sound Collector”. The other was by I Theatre, called “The Secret of Laughter”. Personally, I prefer the first play though Yee likes the second one better.

Why? Probably because it was more interactive and the props were cute. Before I go on, there is something else that you should know. The Sound Collector is a play for children between the ages of 2 to 7 years, while The Secret of Laughter is for those aged between 4 to 16 and “adults with a sense of humour”. I’m waiting to go for the next play by TLC, which is based on one of Wilde’s short stories, “The Selfish Giant”. I think that Yee might want to go again. Hopefully, I can persuade An, La and Andd to come along too. Then we can all go for tea or something after the show.

Today really was a hectic day. After the 10am play, Yee and I took a taxi back to campus for her to submit her application for further studies for this July semester. She said that the due date’s tomorrow and she wanted to get it in by today. So poor little me had to go down with her and spend some time back at campus (which I had no intention of returning to at all!) on a beautiful Thursday morning. Sigh…

I knew that Ms T would not be in the office today as she told me the last time we met, that she would be on leave this week. I think she wanted to bring her family to Thailand for the weekend. It didn’t really matter to me as I wanted to pass something to Dr A’s secretary, Ms AL.

It was a sheet of personalised name stickers which I ordered when the company came down to my office to promote their stuff. Yup, this uncle and his helper went to my office sometime before Chinese New Year (I think), to sell the personalised stickers and ink-stamps. I bought so much from him that he gave me quite a few sheets, FREE! Ain’t that sweet of him! So I use the free ones to make the stickers for my professors.

We reached campus around lunchtime and the office was empty of people. So I brought Yee to the library to while away the time. I miss the library! Ahhhhh, the many times when I hid there to study and relax. The little cosy corners and the freezing cold air-con. I was ecstatic to be back again, even if it were only for a short time. While Yee was snoozing at the table, I went to browse the shelves. Boy, was I lucky! I found this new book on Pragmatics and after reading the first few pages, I decided to photocopy the first three chapters of the book for some light reading. When I met my ex-classmate, Jer (she’s back for further studies), on my way out of the library, she was surprised that I actually photocopied the chapters to read.

The campus still looked the same, except that there was some reconstructive work being done to the Art Gallery. Oh yah, and the school put up many banners on the different buildings too. I saw the faces of a few of my tutors up there like Mrs S, Dr L, Dr Y and even Mr C.

Sigh, I really wish I were back studying instead of working.

Out, out, out.

2006-03-14T23:24:00.000+08:00

Out, out, out.

Jos, Xue and I went out today. I’m on leave these few days so I can afford to roam about the island. It’s been a REALLY llllooooooooooooonnnnnnnnggggggggg time since we last went out and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I had an urgent meeting this morning so I had to go back to the office for a while. Donald Duck (DD for short), reminded me to buy the grammar book by Michael Swan from Kinokuniya as there was a 20% off for all members. Amazing how he remembered that I’m a member when I do not recall telling him I had the card. Eh, he must have eavesdropped on my conversation with SH when we were talking about buying the grammar book, once the 20% discount is available.

I had to wait for him to finish his document before we could leave the office. When some of my other colleagues saw me on their way to lunch, they asked me why I was looking so irritated. I replied that I was waiting for DD, who was taking such a long time with his document. They started teasing me about him and I was like, “NO WAY! We are NOT together!”

Thank God that MH, my close pal at the office was there. She saved me by saying, “No lah, I don't think that Skye will like DD that kind lah. He’s not smart enough. 哎呀，他那个人真的不够聪明，她是不可能喜欢他的啦！” Bingo!

It seemed like whenever we meet, we would be spending half our time eating! We went to Taka’s Crystal Jade on the fourth floor, for a combined meal of lunch and dinner after spending too much time at Kino. God, we must have looked like three crazy gluttons on an eating spree to the people there. By the time we left the place, I was praying that I would not die of overeating! My jeans were so tight at the stomach by then that I had a difficult time even walking. Ha! Both of them were as bloated as I and one tiny poke in the stomach and out would come their food!

If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE' (UTF-8).

Dr W.

2006-03-10T23:51:00.000+08:00

Dr W.

Yi’s supervisor from campus came to observe her today. She’s really lucky that she got Dr W as her supervisor. He’s quite a nice guy actually, the fatherly and uncle kind. Too bad that he wasn’t my tutor for my Singapore Studies module. I had a PhD student that time and she was not bad at all. Anyway, I had an A for the entire module. Frankly, Singapore Studies was an easy module.

Dr W asked me for my handphone number and expressed his intention of calling Yi and I out for a chat. He wanted to know, in his words, “how well the university has prepared you” for the working world. He also wanted to know how recent graduates are coping with their job. Well, he will definitely be hearing A LOT about it from me!

Princess dress.

2006-03-08T21:35:00.000+08:00

Princess dress.

For the first time since graduation, I wore a dress to work. My colleagues were so surprised to see me in it and you could see them shooting stares in my direction.

They told me that I looked very, very nice and sweet in the dress. Two of them described me as “a demure girl”! ARGH! I was actually offended, though I did not tell them so. This is because the word “demure” to me denotes weakness and calls to mind a simpering female, though the dictionary does not say so. But this was the image that my mind conjured up when I heard the word.

A few of them even told me that I looked like a princess in that dress. I tried not to roll my eyes on hearing it. Sheesh! If I were a princess, then I most definitely would not be suffering there at all. Okay, on the whole, I do admit that I looked really good today. Even MGM was eyeing me out of the corner of his eyes.

Presentation.

2006-03-02T18:18:00.000+08:00

Presentation.

As part of the course requirements, I had to do a written assignment and give a three-minute presentation of my assignment to my coursemates. Needless to say, it was an ultra-easy assignment to do and I finished it within a day. The presentation was a breeze too. The facilitator of the course gave us our grades immediately after each of us had presented.

Want to guess what grade I got for both? I got As, as usual. Sometimes, I feel that it’s hard to do a piece of work well when I know even before doing it, that I will get an A for it. I mean, there are times when I have felt that it was unnecessary for me to put in much effort to do my stuff, since I will get a good grade for it.

I mean, why do it when you know what grade you will get eventually? To tell the truth, I was disappointed to get an A. Don’t mind me, I’m just being the weird one out.

Compliments.

2006-02-28T17:59:00.000+08:00

Compliments.

The intern told me that I was very good at my job and she enjoyed observing me that day. I felt funny when I heard that and a tad flattered, I must admit.

Funny, because I was wondering whether she was telling me the truth or simply patronising me. I felt that I didn't do a very good job that day and honestly, what I did really sucked. When I told my colleague, SH, about it, she told me that it might be because I was looking at myself through the eyes of a permanent staff member and not an intern. She said that to an intern, what we do may look very good to them, but not so to ourselves, because we grade ourselves on a different standard.

True, to a certain extent. But I dislike it when someone tells me that what I’ve done is ‘really good’ because it means that my work is perfect, when it is not. Nothing is perfect, no matter how much I want it to be. So to hear someone say that my work is akin to perfection is like telling me that I perfect too.

This is bad.

Observation.

2006-02-24T16:11:00.000+08:00

Observation.

There are about eight other extra people in the company recently because they are here on their student industrial attachment, work experience, internship, job training, whatever. They are all attached to some senior staff in the office and I was extremely thankful that I am only a junior staff member, with less than a year of working experience! I would not want to have someone tagging alongside me when I do my work and have every step I take scrutinised by the intern.

BUT, thanks to one of my colleagues who has an intern under her, I was waylaid en route to the office one fine, sunny morning, and asked to be observed by that intern. Apparently, that dear colleague of mine and recommended me to her intern as someone who is “very good at her work, has lots of good ideas and someone you can learn strong management skills from”. DUH! As if I’m all that good. If I were, I would not even be in my current position. I would have probably been promoted to a higher position by now.

Okay, okay, okay. I was flattered that my colleague recommended me to her intern. She must have seen something worthwhile in the way I work to want her intern to learn from me. What I was uncomfortable with was that I had to let the intern tag along with me for a couple of hours today. Fortunately for me, it was only for a short while! At least the intern was quite nice, without an attitude problem, unlike another female intern.

Surprise.

2006-02-15T21:41:00.000+08:00

Surprise.

I was surprised to see my ex-classmate, Yi, at my office today. We were in the same class for one of my Essential Modules but did not do the class project together. Yi is two years my junior, so she will be graduating in July 2007.

She told me that she was very nervous about her attachment and wished that she was back on campus studying instead of her working. I was like, ‘Come on, at least you have me here with you right?’ Seriously, she talks more to me than she does to the other people in the office, probably because we were once classmates. She’s doing her internship under one of my male colleagues, who can be quite strict at times.

I really abhor the way that the office treats these interns. Poor Yi, she has no place which she can call her own for the next seven to eight weeks and is reduced to either sitting in the pantry or sharing the table with my colleague, who has a very messy station. I took pity on her and told her that she is welcomed to share my big and clean table if she wants to. You should have seen the way her face lit up when I told her that. Ah well, it wasn’t something difficult to do anyway.

Course.

2006-02-10T22:58:00.000+08:00

Course.

I got sent for a course today, which lasted 3 hours at the company’s headquarters and guess who I saw there? Why, it was Ms T of course.

Actually, I kind of guessed that she might be there as I had received a memo about the course and also, because of the nature of the course itself. Well, I went their in my colleague’s car but Ms T offered me a ride out of the place in the evening. We went to Han’s at Thomson Plaza for a drink and she had her favourite dessert, peach tart.

We chatted about school and work. I think that she’s gotten busier these days, with the many meetings she has to attend and the papers she has to write. I wish I was as busy as her. I mean, work for me is just, work. There is nothing especially challenging about my work anyway.

Back to work.

2006-02-01T18:34:00.000+08:00

Back to work.

The worst thing about having a long weekend off is that I have to go to work once it ends. I absolutely HATE it! ARGH! Why can’t the holidays be longer? Why can’t it be like China where the people have a week off from work to celebrate with their families?

Just when I was enjoying myself, I have to return to work. I really feel dour towards everything now.

Start of Spoken English course.

2006-01-12T20:31:00.000+08:00

Start of Spoken English course.

I got selected for a course on Spoken English that will last for about nine weeks. YIPPEE! I love to go for courses, especially those that deal with things I had done before at university.

What I like about this course is that it is about pronunciation with phonetics and phonology and features of Singapore English all rolled into one. Of course it helped that I got A for them on campus. They were really fun to study and learn about. I predict that this will be a very easy and stress-free course for me!

The other colleagues with me are complaining that it is a difficult course and wished that they had never been selected for it. Me? I was like Alice’s Cheshire cat, grinning away. :0)

Back to campus.

2006-01-09T21:58:00.000+08:00

Back to campus.

I went back to school today because my English professor called me on my handphone last week to go back and collect my assignment. Apparently she has finished marking it some time back and has only recently found it when she was clearing her room for the new year.

So I went down in the afternoon and met up with Ms T after collecting my assignment. I also gave her the souvenirs that I bought for her last December. I made a seal with her Chinese name on it and bought a few packets of plums. My other tutors were there too. I saw Dr A and Mr C. I was looking forward to seeing Dr D and Dr L as I have not seen them for quite some time, but I did not get to. Maybe next time, though I really do not want to return to campus again, unless it’s for study.

The feeling is different now that I have been away for half a year. It just does not feel the same anymore and I don't like it.

Mr C has become Dr C now and has moved to a bigger office that looks out to the car park. But I will still call him Mr C, as I have gotten used to calling him that. Dr A was being irritating today by pointing at my stuff and insisting that I bought them from Bangkok. Sheesh!

New year, old me.

2006-01-03T21:44:00.000+08:00

New year, old me.

It’s the start of a new year again and little old me does not feel any different.

A new year means that I will be growing older and yet, the wise part has not set in. Not at the moment.

A new year means that I have to drudge for the next 300 or so number of days. Keeping my nose to the grindstone and produce work of high quality that is deemed acceptable by the upper management.

A new year means that I have the time to daydream about all the things under the sun and wish that I were somewhere else doing something more fun, instead of being stuck doing a meaningless and thankless job.

A new year means that I have the chance to aim for whatever promotion I want and work towards it. Not as a stepping stone towards my career advancement in the office, but as a stepping stone towards my further studies.

New year, new hopes. I pray that at least some of my prayers will be answered this year as it was with the last.

Flying away.

2005-12-05T10:29:00.000+08:00

Flying away.

I’m flying off to Bangkok, yes, again, at 5.30pm today.

This time round, I’ll be going with Ying, in addition to Lil and Lun. I wonder what I want to buy from Bangkok this week. There doesn’t seem much to be bought as I’ve already bought what I needed when I was there in April and June. I’ll probably go to Kinokuniya and check out some of the books.

Know what? I’ll be in Bangkok this week, returning around 11.30pm on Friday night, rest two days, and then, fly to my brothers’ place in the morning of the 12th. I should be back in Singapore on Christmas night.

I’ll miss my family when I’m away, but I think that they’d understand my need to have fun. Poor little Glutton and Meerkat will be left alone when their mummy is away, but thankfully, Xue has agreed to look after them for me.

Jeans and cheeks.

2005-12-02T20:37:00.000+08:00

Jeans and cheeks.

My mum decided to take me over to my maternal granny’s (just for the record, I’m left with only one grandparent!) house to hang around today, so she woke me up at the ungodly hour of 10am. AARGH! Come on, who in the right mind wakes up at such an hour when she is on holiday????

So rather grudgingly, I went to brush my teeth, wash my face, bathe, whatever. I was fully dressed and was bending to apply lotion on my feet when my dear old mum, exclaimed so loudly that she gave me a start. Turned out that she had a bone to pick with my new Levi’s which was giving her a wonderful view of half my butt. Oops! I forgot that it was a super low-waist one that I bought the other day and somehow or other, I didn’t prepare her for it. She went on and on about how unsightly it was for girls to be thus attired and that people could see my underwear (which was well hidden anyway), etc… And if that’s not the worst, she started telling me about how rape cases came about, “Because of you, this type of people.” Sigh… MOTHERS!

Now, my little granny does not behave like my mum at all when it comes to my dressing. Like I, she understands that there are times to dress up and down. I know very well when I can wear a particular kind of clothes and you won’t catch me wearing jeans and T-shirt to work, unless it’s a Saturday or the holidays. It’s pretty cute really, because my gran was fascinated with my showing of butt. She even went as far as to say that I looked nice. Gran suggested that I should wear a halter or spaghetti-top with the jeans and match them with heels.

And people say that old ladies are more conservative! :0)

Course – Day 2.

2005-11-29T23:27:00.000+08:00

Course – Day 2.

Today was not much different from its predecessor except that it was only half a day. Which meant that I could go shopping for the rest of my afternoon. I heard from Ms T that Dr A was very stressed out lately and I think that he’d probably suffer a heart attack soon if he does not loosen up a little.

We were discussing what “Enduring Understanding” meant when I felt a poem rising within me and stretched for a pencil to jot it down in my lecture notes.

Enduring Understanding

Enduring Understanding, a big term you say.
What does it mean, you ask if I may
explain the term to clear the air,
for ignorance is more than you can bear.

Enduring Understanding, to put it as I’ve heard,
which is but a whole lot of words,
is the ability to make one comprehend,
something that cannot be done unless YOU lend a hand!

Enduring Understanding, it must be known,
is the knowledge that for life, one must own.
That one must remember at the end of the day,
and keep it with you always, no matter what comes your way.

I kind of like this poem as I have managed to maintain quite a regular rhythm and rhyme throughout the verses. And my rhyme’s like aa-bb-cc-dd-ee-aa, going one round and back again.

Somehow, the course for today was suspiciously similar to a module that I’ve taken during my recent semester at the University. Even some of the slides were enough to invoke memories of what went on during some of my lectures and tutorials of the recent module, Cxx-403. I wished that I were exempted from this part of the day as I’ve done it before. I remember that I got a “B” grade for the module and I was fuming mad! Why? Probably because I’ve gotten so used to getting As for the modules that I like, that getting a B spoils my record. Especially since the assignments were usually easy to do.

Course – Day 1.

2005-11-28T20:12:00.000+08:00

Course – Day 1.

I got sent for a one-and-a-half day course by the company together with three of my colleagues and went there on my own. I had to take a train from my station and alight at Toa Payoh for a bus that would take me to the venue. See, I was happily standing there waiting for the bus when this person came too close to my right, and suddenly tuned to smile at me. Then I realised that it was Jos! Hahaha! She was waiting for her bus to go to school today and I didn’t even notice her standing, hiding away behind some pillar or person.

It was held at a place that I haven’t been to for a very long time. I felt like I was back at IJ when I stepped into that place. It just felt so right to me. When I registered at the counter, I was delighted to see that a few of my tutors would be conducting the course. It felt like I was back in school again! Even the design of the PowerPoint slides and handouts were so characteristic of the tutors in that department.

Ms T, my SS tutor was there, together with Ms C, my History tutor and also Mrs H, Mdm K and the department’s secretary, Ms A. Too bad Dr I-don’t-have-Bluetooth was absent. Otherwise I would have had fun joking with him. I met some of my ex-classmates too and they are still as funny as ever. I wished that An’s company could have sent her along too, then I would be able to see her again. I haven’t seen her ever since after our convocation as we were both stuck with having to adjust to our job.

My attention started to waver by the time the third speaker took the stand and I entertained myself by taking photos of my surroundings, the people around me and of course, my favourite subject, ME! No, I wasn’t guilt-stricken that I did not pay attention because the speaker was never my tutor and read off the slides most of the time. But being a female, I was perfectly capable at multi-tasking. I could listen, take notes, SMS, take pictures of myself and even write poems or just verses. Though the people around me and probably the guy sitting behind, all thought that I’m some idiot.

Here’s one that I wrote during that speaker’s presentation:

Shut

A mind stuck here screaming to get out.
The soul within yearning to be released.
How cruel is the hand of Fate that has sealed the door.
That which leads to Freedom from which I cannot seek to go.

For the art of seeking is but an arduous one.
To seek, ask, beg and yet, to be denied, refused and shut away.

Shut away, in a room where stifled moans are heard,
where hands are clawing at the doors, windows and vents.
Where one is left helpless against all forces,
that threaten to break one’s soul.

We had to break up into different rooms for discussion and the facilitator in my room is a new tutor at school called, Ms EC. She brought the group through the different sets of PowerPoint slides and even got us to do some activities. Towards the end of the session, we had to write three points in answer to the questions on the piece of paper that was given earlier on.

In all verity, I admit that I didn’t do as she directed. I copied from my colleague! Because yours truly would much rather reply in the form of a poem than list three points for each question! God! I already had the poem in my head and was having some difficulties trying to tear it apart to fit each specific question, when I gave up and decided to copy instead.

This is another one that I penned when the group was talking about pictures:

A Picture’s Words

They once told me that a picture’s worth a thousand words.
But what words, my dear, they neglected to mention.
Are they words of love, worship, hate or of aversion?

Are they things that one craves to tell or would prefer to keep hidden?

Do they change over the years or will they remain constant?
As constant as the stars that shine brightly in the sky.
As true as the love of Cupid and Psyche,
As real as you, I or even, anyone in the world.

Or are they like ships that pass in the night,
strangers to each other with nary a chance of recognition?
Where shadows abound and mischief looms,
and Hecate dabbles in her art.

Where the Sisters Three around the cauldron,
invoke their Master to partake of their deadly deeds.
Where the Sirens’ voices sound aloud,
beguiling and yet, treacherous?

But you, my dear, are worth more than a thousand words,
a million, trillion, googolplex of words.
Of love, sunshine, wind and rain, where, by Thor and Odin will I swear,
I believe it true because, I know.

Citibank Paragon Platinum Card.

2005-11-26T23:09:00.000+08:00

Citibank Paragon Platinum Card.

We went shopping today, Jos, Xue and I, along Orchard Road. It seems like we are forever going there lately. Anyway, I had to pick up my shirt, as it was ready and buy a pair of cuff links for the top. So back we went to Raoul and I somehow bought TWO more shirts again! Steven told me that he would be transferring back to Millenia Walk in December because his regular customers have been looking for him. Too bad, but Lisa and Celine will still be attached to the Paragon outlet. So I’ll still patronise the store there.

When Xue and Jos saw the bag that he put my shirts in, they started giving each other and the bag, looks. Being the ever intelligent me :0), I asked Steven for some more bags so that they could have it. Ha! You should have seen the number of bags that he gave us from under the counter! Big bags, medium bags and small bags. Standard design and the limited Christmas design. He gave us so many bags that we looked like we went there only to collect the bags!

We went to Heeren after that to collect my Levi’s jeans that I had sent for alteration some time ago. On our way back to Takashimaya, we were stopped by this Citibank roadshow promoter, who asked whether we would be interested to sign up for the Citibank Paragon Platinum Card. I told him outright that my salary does not hit S$70,000.00 at all, but he said that it doesn’t matter. As long as I’m a Singapore Citizen above the age of 21 years and my income is above a certain amount, I qualify.

I was laughing inwardly when he said “above the age of 21 years” as he had his eyebrows raised while looking at me. So sue me if you think that I’m under the age of legal capacity. It is certainly not a crime to look way younger than my age. There are many females out there who spend thousands of dollars trying to look young, with some even going under the knife in their bid to do so. I count myself lucky that I have such wonderful genes which I inherited from my mum and maternal granny. The people on my dad’s side had an overdose of the ageing potion, unlike my maternal side, which was smart to take the youth potion instead.

Come to think of it, the people on my mum’s side seem to be better in their studies! It’s not that my dad’s bad in his studies, he’s better compared to the rest of his siblings. It’s just that he’s more of the logical-tactile-kinesthetic type of person. I know that I am definitely NOT tactile-kinesthetic. I am the linguistic-slightly musical-intrapersonal type of person. I love to read and write. It’s pretty fun, for me, at least. I even enjoy writing essays and examinations, resulting in me being labelled as “mad” by many people. To be fair though, I have to admit that my father’s side is more adept at doing business.

God, I give Thanks to You everyday that I take after my mum’s side and not my dad’s. I’ll probably kill myself if it were the other way round.

Hey! I’m perfectly fine with people thinking that I am an inept hoyden incapable of doing even the simplest of tasks. I find it extremely funny when they discover that I am actually not what I seem to be. Weird but true.

Shopping with mum.

2005-11-24T18:15:00.000+08:00

Shopping with mum.

I didn’t have to show my face at the office today, so my mum got me to accompany her to Suntec City’s Carrefour to buy the ingredients that she needed to cook for the night’s dinner. It wasn’t very crowded probably since it was a weekday and it was kind of early too.

We were walking towards the Duck Tours counter when my eyes spied an HSBC roadshow! So I did what any sane person would do – walk towards the promoters and indicate my interest either by way of a lingering glance (as I did for my other card) or catching the eye of the promoter. The former worked again this time and soon, I was filling up forms and told to dip my hand into the box for an instant “sure win” lucky dip. I didn’t want to put my hand into the box filled with tiny foam balls, so my mum became my proxy. Imagine her delight when she found that the counter which she picked entitled her to a free coffee maker!

Me? I was ambivalent as I didn’t mind the thermos water bottle.

Meetings galore.

2005-11-22T22:10:00.000+08:00

Meetings galore.

This whole week of mine until the 30th of November is packed full with meetings until I hardly have the time to take a breather. We have to review what have been done thus far for the year, and also, to plan the strategies to be implemented next year so as to have a better profit margin for the company.

Thank God that I will be sent on course next Monday and Tuesday! Otherwise, I would be stuck in the office listening to all the sermons from the different big shots and praying for the day to end fast.

I will be meeting Jos at Junction 8 tomorrow to collect the toilet for my hamsters and have dinner with her. We’re thinking of buying more stuff from Body Shop, since she has 30% for most of the products there. Which reminds me of something. I received this S$20.00 voucher from Luxasia to spend at Tangs today. I can’t think of anything to buy there and I wonder whom I can give it to.

Card crazy!

2005-11-19T23:55:00.000+08:00

Card crazy!

My mother brought me to visit this relative of mine, who got admitted into Changi Hospital because she was unable to eat, in the morning. After that, we headed for town because I was in the mood to sign up for credit cards. I wanted new ones and since there are always roadshows in town every weekend, why not? Especially since they give fee waiver for the first few years.

I must have signed up for like FIVE cards during the time there! Heeheehee! I can’t wait for my new cards so that I can use them!

ONS.

2005-11-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

ONS.

I went out with Jos and Xue this afternoon so that Jos could buy her shoes and I could send my blouse back to Raoul for them to shorten my sleeves.

Of all the Raoul Ladies outlets that I’ve visited in town, the one at Paragon is the best. Why? Because of Steven, the salesperson. He never fails to smile warmly and greet you when you enter the store. These are certainly lacking at the stores at Suntec City and Millenia Walk. Even when I was wavering between two blouses, he would offer his views on which blouse is better suited for me and offer advice as to the type of material and designs available in the store without appearing pushy. Steven is extremely knowledgeable about the products he is selling, right down to the feel of the blouses and even the design of the cuff links.

But the most important thing about his service attitude is that he does not look at me and give me the feeling that I am too young to be frequenting the boutique, or worse, that I cannot afford to buy the things there. These are precisely what I was made to feel like when I stepped into the other two outlets. So I’ve told myself that I’ll only frequent the store that he is at. Nothing beats a good service attitude!

After sending my blouse for alteration, we went to the Coffee Club Express for a drink. Someone asked what we each wanted for Christmas and I said that I wanted an ONS with Panda, after which, I want to MR The Gag. I think that my response was pretty unexpected and Jos and Xue seemed to have choked on their soup when they heard it! Hmm, I mean, why not? I have never had an ONS before and if I ever do, I would prefer it to be with Panda or at the very least, The Gag, and no one else. Okay, I would not even mind if I had an ONS with The Gag first before MRY Panda. Either way, I still come out tops! :0)

A mad rush.

2005-11-16T21:53:00.000+08:00

A mad rush.

It was as though I were at a fish market these days. Judging by the look of the office this past two weeks, I am not that far from my impression of the place.

We were all rushing to get things done for this major event this Friday, and judging by the looks of it, we still have loads more to complete before everything can be ready by then. Everyone’s stuck at their computers and the printers throughout the office have been running low on toner. And if that wasn’t enough, curses were liable to escape from someone’s mouth at one time or another.

The different departments have to liaise with one another and ensure that things run smoothly on Friday, that there will be no hitches for the duration of the event. Otherwise, all of us would be given a earful come next Monday. Thank God that I’ve finished all that I was supposed to do yesterday. Now, I’m just putting the finishing touches to my stuff and helping others with theirs.

一切随缘，从何谈起？

2005-11-13T23:33:00.000+08:00

一切随缘，从何谈起？

今天，我见到了一个我根本没想到会见到的东西。它的出现完完全全使我整个人给愣住了。出现在那么一个平常而又是我经常去的地方，真是让人感到有点不可思议。

我究竟见到了什么呢？我，看到了熊熊的车。

当我的车经过他那辆的时候，眼前熟悉的车牌使我情不自禁的念出了那些号码。就是那么几个号码而已，就足我永生难忘了。不，我没错。那辆的的确确就是熊熊的车。就连他吊在镜子的那个玩意儿也是没变的。

看到那辆车时，我就知道他在我附近。但是，我又是那么的不愿意和他碰上。因为我不晓得碰上了后彼此的反应会如何。虽然心里是一直盼望能够和他相见，但相见的时候，他身边的会是什么人呢？倘若他的身边有了一个“她”，我感觉会如何？我是否接受得了吗？虽然双方都了解，自从那次后，见面的机会会是渺小的，但事实总是难接受的。

到了最后，我们俩都没相见。

就是一切随缘，但这缘又能从何谈起呢？缘啊缘，咱们俩可真是有缘无份啊！自从那次的离别，我已告诉自己甭想再见到任何有关他的事跟物。怎料，今晚就出现在我眼前。就是他那么一辆较小的车把我整个人给愣住了。

我知道，没有了你，我照常能继续我的生活。没有了你，世界还会是旋转着的。失去了你虽然是我终生的痛，但这感觉会渐渐的消失，渐渐的离去。直到有一天我能摆脱你的阴影，能够勇敢的对大家说我已经把你给忘了。

在我把你忘记之前，我先对你说一声“恭喜，恭喜”和“生日快乐”。

你终于得到你想要的东西了。这些年来的努力和心血都是值得的。在你生日期间获得这么一个礼物，真是喜上加喜。身为你的朋友，我也为你高兴和骄傲。

If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE (UTF-8).

Innovate! Be Enterprising! (Yeah right!)

2005-11-10T20:48:00.000+08:00

Innovate! Be Enterprising! (Yeah right!)

I’m on medical leave again, since yesterday. And the doctor’s medical chit was sufficient to cover me until today. But poor me had to drag myself out of bed to attend some stupid workshop on Innovation and Enterprise (I & E), which I think, would have been better off without me.

Firstly, I am NOT in the I & E department or committee, or whatever it is called. Secondly, I am STILL NOT feeling well. But did anyone bother to inquire as to my health? NO! So I had to go for the stupid thing very unwillingly and I looked bored out of my mind there. If it weren’t for the Flying Fox, Abseiling and other sports segments which I had fun in during the last two hours of the workshop, I would have been dead!

Back, but still sick.

2005-11-07T20:18:00.000+08:00

Back, but still sick.

I went back to work today and some of my colleagues commented that I sounded very gentle and feminine. They said that I sounded better this way and I definitely do not agree with them! I feel that I sound way too gentle and weak. Yucks! Two characteristics that I do not want to be associated with me at all.

I think that I’m still not feeling well enough to be working yet, but there are lots of things waiting for me on my table, so I had no choice but to return and slog away. Methinks that me will be on medical leave again sometime this week.

Tutor’s site.

2005-11-05T15:20:00.000+08:00

Tutor’s site.

I was so bored that the only thing to do was to plonk myself down in front of my computer and surf the net. Oh yah, I also had to check the multitude of emails that were in my inboxes. Sigh… I haven’t been checking my inboxes for more than a week and I really hate to do so.

I utterly dislike having to go through those emails in my work account. It’s a waste of time to have to read them when most of it doesn’t even concern me. But I still have to do so, just to keep myself in the know about what’s going on in the office.

When I opened my other account, the one I use to keep in touch with my friends, classmates and tutors, I found that it was bursting to its capacity with funny attachments and whatnot. I was about to delete this email from my ex-classmate when the title caught my eye: “Tutor’s site exposed!”

You should have seen the number of people that the link had been sent to! Er, some of the content in the mail was very strongly worded and I shall not repeat what it said, on my blog. I was actually mortified by it. I wonder why they wrote such things about this ex-tutor of mine, who actually seems quite okay except for an overdose of sarcasm at times. I think that such behaviour like my tutor’s is really quite mild, compared to what I have to endure in my work.

Sometimes, people just prefer to keep certain things private, away from their professional life. I know, because I’ve kept my sites out of the eyes of the people associated with me in a professional capacity. How can a person work when every single detail of that person’s life is scrutinised by all and sundry? I, for one, know that I can’t work under such pressure.

I like my tutor’s pet! It’s so cute! Wish I had one like that too, but my folks will never agree to it. What to do? Parents are like that anyway.

I unreservedly apologise to my tutor for having trespassed on the site.

Sick, ill, unwell, dour etc…

2005-11-04T10:14:00.000+08:00

Sick, ill, unwell, dour etc…

I lost my voice yesterday and was down with fever, sorethroat, flu and headache. I still don’t feel well today, that’s why I’m staying at home and not going to work. Alleluia!

It sure is time for me to be ill as the work and stress of all the things to be done at the office takes its toll on me. How wondrous it is to be able to stay at home and just relax without worrying about work. If only I could be in this state whenever I choose to.

So what did I do at home apart from sleeping and taking my medicine? I went on a Lord of the Rings marathon, and watched the entire movie for the day.

All Saints Day.

2005-11-01T23:18:00.000+08:00

All Saints Day.

I went to church, finally! After all these years, I’ve finally gone to attend Mass. I miss it so much! Ever since I left IJ, life has been a blur without the Masses to look forward to. I love to sing the hymns especially during the times when I was feeling really depressed. I feel that singing the hymns and just being present at Mass really helped to improve my feelings and other state of affairs.

After being in a Catholic school for ten wonderful years of my life, to have to go without Mass can be a very painful event at times. Someone, I can’t remember who, suggested going to church on All Saints Day and I was like, sure! So, Jos, Xue and I went to Jos’ church that evening after hanging around town for the day.

On our way to the MRT station later on, I received this really weird stare from a guy who walked past me. He was staring at me with eyes wide open, as though he had seen a ghost. It was not only after I’ve turned the corner to the station that I realised that it was someone from work. Sheesh! It would have been more polite to have smiled and say “Hi!” than to stare at me.

Unexpected people.

2005-10-29T23:56:00.000+08:00

Unexpected people.

This being the last Saturday before Xue and Jos had to start a new school year again, we decided to go out and relax before the avalanche of schoolwork hits.

After shopping in the area for some time, we went to Cineleisure’s Kbox rather than walk about aimlessly, since we didn’t have an idea where we really wanted to go. It has been a long time since our last visit to Kbox and Xue and I were itching to go and sing again. There were quite a lot of new songs featured and we sang to out hearts’ content. Except for Xue, who ate and ate and ate the snacks provided so much so that the bowls have to be refilled seven times!

We went back to HMV after singing K as Xue wanted to go and see her stuff, so Jos and I loitered outside the store. While we were waiting at that roundabout railing outside HMV, on the same floor as Adidas, my attention was captured by this girl whose stomach was kind of sticking out. She was standing across the railing from me and was dressed in a dark blue cap-sleeved type of top with red words on the front and short brown skirt. I was appalled at the sight of the tight material stretched across her stomach and was wondering whether she was pregnant when I saw her face.

I know this person! She’s Ying and Lil’s friend! Uh oh! Hoping that she didn’t see me too, I surreptiously tried to hide myself behind Jos who didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing then. Feeling safe that she had not seen me, my eyes riveted back to the store behind her and managed to catch sight of the person that she was with – her “underground” boyfriend, XYZ. Okay, at this point in time, I told Jos who I was looking at and she told me that she couldn’t see clearly. So we headed towards Adidas where we saw them enter and surprisingly, not one of those two recognised me even when I walked past them, face-to-face.

Jos said that the girl looked very “auntie” and that the guy didn’t even look good. I told her the alleged “orientation” of the guy and her face was one big “YECH!” This is the same girl who told me at Lil’s party after her ROM, that XYZ is her boyfriend. At that time, I was surprised that she would divulge such a personal detail to me, whom she has met for less than six hours. I do not like her much and I suspect, neither does Ying, but I can tolerate this girl in small doses and because she’s not my friend.

In a way, I feel sorry for her because being an “underground” girlfriend, she is unable to acknowledge her relationship with the guy publicly. Even when questioned, all the guy was willing to offer was that they are just friends and he maintained that it is she who likes him and not vice versa. We think that it has to do with the “orientation” of the guy, which is skewed to some people, but not to others.

Have you ever seen a couple on a date that does not hold each other’s hands? This is what’s going on between this couple. Even when they walked, the guy would walk a few paces in front of the girl and she would look very lost and bored. I was eyeing them as they went down the escalator. He went down first and didn’t even bother to turn back to look for her despite them being separated by a group of people. Some people sure are difficult to figure out.

Happy Birthday Wan!

2005-10-23T23:13:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Wan!

My Dearest Wan,

Today is your birthday and I wish that all your dreams could be fulfilled on this very magical day. It’s been more nearly a decade since I last saw you and I wonder how it would be like to hang out with you again here.

I remember when we were in primary school and the games of “football” that we played during Chinese Spelling and Dictation class in P3 Hibiscus and how furious Lee Lao Shi was when she found out about it that she changed our places. Well, that put an end to any of our fun during Chinese lessons after that.

Do you remember Mrs JC? She was one big meanie, scolding us every time and glaring at us with those goldfish eyes of hers whenever we were deemed to have disobeyed her or something. I recall the weird dresses that she used to wear and how you often poke fun of her and calling her husband an alien and an ah pek! Hahaha!

When we went our separate ways after primary school, you would always come back to visit us, despite one of friends’ disapproval at you appearing at IJ. She’s now a teacher at some Chinese-sounding school. I know that when we were in Secondary 3 and 4, when I had the chalet, you came along to play mahjong with us. And if I remember correctly, you beat some of the guys from Catholic High at it too!

I cried when you left Singapore that faraway afternoon, while waiting for my lecture to start, and Pat had to console me. I think that K was there to lend me his shoulder to cry on too, though I didn’t accept anyway, lest it causes a misunderstanding with his girlfriend.

When will I see you again? I haven’t seen Debra too in more than 5 years. Like everyone else, we are just too busy with work. Sigh…

Tickets.

2005-10-19T21:20:00.000+08:00

Tickets.

I met Yee after work today to go and collect our tickets for our trip this December. She’s going with a colleague of hers as my friends and I have already booked ours at an earlier date. But we’ll be staying at the same hotel and will probably meet up for dinner or something for one night before I fly back to Singapore

We had initially wanted to travel out of the country together, but I had to return earlier and she couldn’t leave any earlier with me, so I could only go with Ying, Lil and Lun, while she had to go with her colleague.

Quick bites.

2005-10-10T23:59:00.000+08:00

Quick bites.

Ever since I offered Mr Good Morning some packets of snacks, he would come to me whenever he was hungry, that is, provided that I was in the office. Today was no different. I was trying to pack my stuff nicely for use in the next few days when he popped his head first, then the whole body round my table and he went, “Eh, Skye, I’m very hungry leh.”

Now, before I go on with what happened, you must first know how I was standing. See, I always have my keys hanging on a “My Melody” strap round my neck. I used to hang my concession card on it when I was in school, but these days, I find that it’s more useful to hang my keys on. So I was standing at my table, trying to lock the compartment above it when Mr Good Morning appeared on my left. My key was in the lock and I had to turn my face to the left to look at him.

I must have looked very blur because I went, “Huh?” twice, trying to make out why he was telling me about his state of hunger when it dawned on me that he was asking me for food! So I went, “Okay, wait ah, while I lock this up first.” That guy was laughing at my expression because he found it funny!

When I reached home that night, someone was in a rotten temper. Glutton gave me a strong bite on my right index finger as I was playing with her. Xue said it was because I had carried Meerkat before her and Glutton didn’t like Meerkat’s smell. Her teeth were in my finger and she was hanging in mid-air when I moved my hand in pain. It took a few shakes sideways and up and down before I managed to shake her off. Blood was oozing out of my finger after that. I think that from today onwards, I will always handle Glutton before Meerkat. She sure is very temperamental.

Clothes.

2005-10-08T23:05:00.000+08:00

Clothes.

I went shopping with Jos and Xue today. We went to Raoul at Paragon to buy the shirts that I’ve been eyeing for a long time. I LOVE the tops that they sell! The designs are really very different from those at the usual run of the mill stores. We spent slightly more than half an hour there for me to try the shirts, with the two of them being my fashion consultants.

The salesman was I think, a tad over friendly. He was chatting away nineteen to the dozen about what job he used to hold, why he was here doing sales and the different types of designs and material of the shirts. I was so happy with the perfect fit of my shirts that I bought four of them.

Busy, busy, busy.

2005-10-06T20:40:00.000+08:00

Busy, busy, busy.

Lately, there’s been lots of work for me to do and I’m finding it hard to juggle work and my personal stuff. There are so many deadlines to meet and reports to rush that I feel like I’m just a robot churning out stiff endlessly.

In a way, I’m not the only one who is stuck doing all these mundane stuff. An and many of my ex-classmates are also doing the same. We are all chained to a job that has lost all its glamour and glitter and are destined to suffer through the remaining days that we each have on earth.

If only I could be rescued from this torture. But who will hear my plea? Who will come in my darkest hour? No one. I only have myself to depend upon.

The centre of attention.

2005-10-03T22:10:00.000+08:00

The centre of attention.

I realised that the people at my office seem to notice what I wear to work. Everyday when some of them see me, they tell me that I look very nice and pretty. Er… am I missing something here or what? I find it very disconcerting when told that I look good daily, because I find that it lacks sincerity. Come on, you don’t tell someone that he or she looks nice everyday do you?

Someone even recited a two-liner, which I suspected was copied off somewhere, to me. It went like this:

“Like the birds and the flowers in the sky,
you always look very pretty and nice!”

Then the person topped it off with “You are very beautiful” and I had to plaster a grin on my face and say “Thank You” while I was cringing inside.

I know that I should be thankful that I am the object of attention of some others. But sometimes when I am feeling under the weather, the last thing I would want to hear is how beautiful I look. Okay, I am grateful for it. Period.

Happy Birthday to ME!

2005-10-02T23:26:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to ME!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOHH! It’s my birthday today! Heehee! After waiting for what seemed liked eternity since July, my glorious birthday is finally here. With its arrival heralds the start of Christmas countdown and it means that the year will soon be over.

My family and I went to Little India for breakfast this morning and we had our meal at Komala’s. I simply LOVE the paper thosai and vaday there. Then we went shopping for groceries nearby before heading for my granny’s house. I was actually hoping to meet my friend at the market near my granny’s house but fate decreed that it was not to be. Sigh…

I had a surprise this afternoon when someone knocked on my gate to ask for me. He handed me a package and told me that it was my plaque which I didn’t collect. Oops! Anyway, the timing was perfect as I received it on my birthday and all of us spent a good whole ten minutes pouring over it and exclaiming how nice it looked.

In the evening, we had dinner at Crystal Jade before going to buy my ice-cream cake home to blow the candles and eat the cake.

It wasn’t a celebration on a grand scale, but I prefer it this way.

Children’s Day!

2005-10-01T10:23:00.000+08:00

Children’s Day!

Okay, just let me wish everyone who reads my blog a very Happy Children’s Day! Even though we are all adults, there still is a child in each and every one of us anyway. If not, how would you explain that adults are invariably the ones who buy all the collectibles like figurines, bears and what not?

I remember that I would look forward to Children’s Day every year when I was in the primary school. We always celebrated it the day before and there’d always be a mass and then a concert after. The teachers’ performances were the highlight of the day. I know that my friends and I would burst into laughter whenever we see some of our teachers dancing or even singing. Nahhhh, it wasn't because they were bad, it’s just that it’s so unfathomable for our young minds then, that our teachers could actually perform instead of just teaching us.

The job scope of a teacher has certainly changed over the years. Now, a teacher not only has to teach, she is expected to promote (read: sell, like a product) herself and get people to notice her. She has to give hours upon hours of remedial lessons to her students, be their nanny, maid, surrogate mother, remembrancer, politician, slave etc. It’s little wonder many people leave the service once their bond is up.

Friends of mine who are current teachers deplore the kind of treatment that they get these days. They said that their workload is increasing rapidly and that they don’t get enough respect from parents and students alike. Moreover, the quality of their students is also not very good. Hmm… I wonder whether this has to do with the neighbourhood. I mean, depending on the socio-economic status of the parents, some neighbourhoods in Singapore have residents who are generally more affluent than other neighbourhoods, which means expensive tuition for their children. Come to think of it, I don’t think that my teachers had this problem of us being “low-quality” students.

Most of us were the sorts who were fast learners and could pick up concepts and other stuff often after the first few explanations. EVERY ONE of us could read quite well when we started our first year at the Convent. In fact, the only thing, which our teachers despaired over, was that we spoke English even during Mother Tongue lessons. HA! This is the exact opposite of what is happening in many classrooms these days, according to my friends. They said that students are extremely prone to speaking Mother Tongue during English-medium lessons and even after reprimanding them, they still persist in doing so.

Moreover, they said that there seems to be lots of changes (often at short notices) thrown at them in terms of syllabus and other kinds of weird programmes that they must implement in their classes. Often, they said, these programmes and what-nots are not really effective for students’ learning and they are taken out only to be replaced with another one that also does not live up to the teachers’ expectations.

Why can’t a teacher just teach? Isn’t that what her primary job is supposed to be? If a teacher is encumbered with so much administrative things to do, how then is she going to teach well? My friends told me that they have to prepare their lessons way in advance and the marking never stops even when they reach home. I have friends who stay until 9pm to mark their things in school and these are from the morning session. So technically, they spend 14 hours in school and then another couple of hours at home doing school stuff! Which means that they don’t even get enough sleep at all. And this leads to teacher burnout fast. Is a teacher expected to be a Jack (or Jill) of all trades and master (or mistress) of NONE?

My best friend (let’s call her L) just graduated from her Bachelor of Arts (Education) at NTU-NIE this July and has to serve a 5-year bond with the Ministry. She is disillusioned with teaching now, having taught for a while before she underwent training to be a teacher. She said that teaching is most definitely not the same as it was during the year when she first embraced the occupation. L is counting the days until the holidays are here when she will be free of her students. She finds it difficult to develop a liking for her current class and used to dread going for the first month of school after the June holidays. According to her, she feels slightly better now, though she is trying to immerse herself in work so that time would fly by fast, just like me.

Take a look at what she put on her Friendster site:

“It has been about 3 months since my graduation and I’m back teaching again.

Somehow or other, I’m feeling pretty empty, not sure why.

This time round, I do not find teaching as fun as it was back in 2000 to 2003. I think that it has something to do with the cohort. I remember that I used to look forward to school to teach my students back then, always planning my lessons well in advance and thinking of all the gifts I could buy to reward them for their hard work. It was pure joy just to see them everyday. I was their teacher, mentor, someone who helped shape their lives.

Now, I am just a teacher. An empty shell of the former me. I may look the same outwardly, but inwardly, it’s no longer the same. I know, because I can feel it. The passion I had for teaching back then has since disappeared.

To all of my students who came back to visit on the eve of Teacher’s Day, thank you very much! You have certainly made my day just by calling me “Miss ____”. Presents are immaterial. What mattered was that I could see you once more.

You taught me how to love, to share my time and to teach. You were the inspiration that kept me going during the years when I was being trained as a teacher. Every lesson plan that I designed, I did it with you in mind. Because of you, I was one of the few teacher trainees who performed extremely well.

My memory of you will always remain frozen at the time when I first had you. Even when I see you, all so tall and grown up now, my mind never fails to conjure up an image of you when you were in my class.

If I cannot remember your name immediately, please don’t be angry with me. I am one who finds it easier to remember faces, come what may. But I am always able to recall your name after a while.

What people say is correct: First Loves are unforgettable.

But I was fortunate enough to be blessed with over 100 first loves. To have loved once is more than enough for me. Now, the door is closed. No longer shall I love again.”

L told me that she penned this poem during one of her lessons in her final semester at NIE. It basically sums up what she feels about teaching and highlights her reluctance at being forced to teach upon graduation. Interestingly enough, she has compared the people in school, especially her students, to wolves who prey upon innocent, unsuspecting persons, showing no mercy to their victims at all.

"A Little Girl Lost

In my period of despondency,
If Cupid I were to meet.
Oh winged boy of love,
Shoot me with thy arrow!
Fill me with the love of teaching.
So that I a jaded girl shalt not be,
When I face reality this summer.

In the face of the packs of wolves,
Leave me not to falter.
I swear upon Mount Olympus,
Shoot me with thy arrow!
Fill me with the love of teaching,
That will never waver,
But stands firm against the test of time."

An anguished cry for help, but will help ever come? Or will she have to suffer in silence?

Early celebration.

2005-09-30T23:52:00.000+08:00

Early celebration.

I celebrated my birthday with the people at the office today. I had ordered the cake sometime last week and it was delivered around 4pm this afternoon, just in time for tea. It was a massive 3.5kg rectangular looking thing from Prima Deli and it created quite a commotion at the office. Primarily because I think that no one had ever ordered such a humongous cake to be delivered there before. Secondly, everyone was amazed when I they saw the cute design on the cake and they oohed and ahhed over it like little kids! Hahaha!

Cute cake right?!

My superiors saw the cake and wondered whose it was. I told them that it was my birthday cake and they promptly wished me a Happy Birthday. I said that I was celebrating it early with everyone as it’s more fun this way. Some of the people at the office then asked me how old I was and everyone started guessing my age. I told them that they only had one chance and many of them blew it just like that. Too bad, I’m not telling them at all! Heeheehee! Quite a few of them guessed my age to be around 19 to 20. Well, seriously, I’m flattered that they think I’m that age, although I’m not that much older anyway. At least it gives me an excuse to behave like a child since they think that I’m that age. Wow, not even of legal capacity yet. Perfect! Yeah right!

When I lighted the candle (I only put a big one there), my talents couldn’t stop gushing over how cute my cake was. They even asked me whether I could give them the sugar animals. But I was like, sorry, they have been reserved for others in the office. Maybe some other time, I said. It was fun to hear people sing and clap along to the Happy Birthday song for me not only in English, but also in Mandarin and Malay.

I didn't want to clutter my cake with the candles.

I felt kind of sad when they sang the songs because my mind was thinking back this day some years back when a certain group of people sung me my birthday song. It was so wonderful to be with them. I miss them very much and though we still keep in contact through emails, Friendster and SMSes, somehow or other, it’s not the same anymore. We’ve all grown up and are I feel, more cognizant of what we want out of life though many of us still do not know how to set the whole thing in motion yet. We will never be together like we all were that wonderful year, yet, we will always remain the best of friends and confidantes.

Years apart.

2005-09-27T20:21:00.000+08:00

Years apart.

Xue was telling me that if YC and his girlfriend can make it together despite the huge age difference, I should also be able to make it with er, ahem, you know. I know that 15 years may seem like a lot to some people, but to YC and his gal, it wasn’t that much of a bother. Especially since someone is about 10 years my senior.

For me, 15 years isn’t that much anyway, since I prefer guys who are older than I, never mind that it is a decade or so more. Because with age comes maturity in thinking and a somewhat broader view of life. So unlike most of the guys that I know, who are still behaving even more childishly than I do, be it in class or at work.

Some of my friends have asked me what sort of attraction do older guys possess that has me so enthralled at times. They wanted to know why I do not prefer someone who is nearer my age group. Hmm…I wonder too!

Jos ah, what is it about QQ that makes your knees weak and your heart all aflutter?

I think that age is not that important a factor for me. What is crucial is the amount of time that we are able to have with each other. Without the needed time to interact with one another, it will be very difficult to make things work out. I think this is one aspect that Xue said I have to concentrate on.

Sigh… It’s such a difficult thing to do since I’m no longer there now. At the very least when I was there, we could still see each other about once to twice a week. Now, I only get to see him when I have to go there. Absence may make the heart fonder for some people. But for certain people (most definitely NOT me), out of sight equates with out of mind. So the fact remains that everyone is slowly drifting away from one another.

Things Fall Apart, just like Achebe’s novel.

That’s why Xue advised that M-GM or maybe even M-Maz would be safer bets since we work in the same office and I get to see them everyday. We’ll see. But I’m not pinning any hopes on the office thing at all. Just how do you say NOT INTERESTED? They are just okay to chat with. Nothing else.

Ying’s birthday.

2005-09-25T22:15:00.000+08:00

Ying’s birthday.

Today is Ying’s birthday, but we’ll be celebrating it together with mine next Saturday. This way, we don’t have to meet up twice to celebrate. Lil has already gotten Ying her birthday present and I think that I accidentally let slip what it was when I saw her at Suntec about 2 weeks ago. Heehee! I’m sharing with Lil for Ying’s birthday present and though I know what it is, I haven’t even seen it yet.

I can’t wait for Friday to arrive! I’ve already ordered my birthday cake from the nearby shopping centre and it will be delivered on Friday afternoon, just in time for tea. I’m celebrating it with the people in the office but I have yet to tell them that it’s my birthday. Tis best not to, in case I become inundated with all sorts of useless presents that I have to get rid of!

I’m the easiest person to buy any sort of presents for. I love to read so much that I always tell people to buy me book vouchers from Kinokuniya or Borders, whenever they ask me what I want for my birthday, Christmas, whatever. It’s not only convenient, it also saves them a lot of brainpower, guessing what to buy for me. Hmm… the next time someone asks me what I want for a present, I’d probably say shelves from Ikea, because I’m running out of place to put my books!

Dinner at Seoul Garden.

2005-09-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

Dinner at Seoul Garden.

I met Yee for dinner this evening. She has been hankering after the food at Seoul, so I met her there after work. And the best thing is that she wanted to eat the food so badly that she even offered to pay for my share so long as I accompanied her along! Who am I to refuse such a good offer? ;0)

It seems that she has a lot of stuff to complete lately. I have too, but thankfully, my workload is not as bad as hers. She complained about her colleagues, work, superiors etc.. during our meal there. And we ended up gossiping about our ex-classmates until we left the place at 10pm!

Witch!

2005-09-22T23:27:00.000+08:00

Witch!

I went for my meeting expecting it to be very boring as it always is, more so than the one on Tuesday, but to my surprise, it was somewhat different and more fun-filled.

The management decided that they should not torture us with any more boring stuff for the week, so they invited this famous storyteller from the States to tell us a story and also, to teach us the fundamentals of story-telling. I was so happy for a chance to just relax during the meeting! Her name is Linda Fang, and she told us that the main things that a storyteller must possess, in order of importance, are: voice, imagination and expression.

Towards the end of the session, she got us to come up with a story and to have one person from each table come up and tell it to the rest of the people. Okay, so my friends nominated me to go up and perform. I think that I shocked everyone else (except those who know me better) by adopting the persona of a witch and singing the “Worms” song! Heehee! The entire room thundered with applause when I ended my performance! I was exhilarated, but embarrassed at the same time, because I seemed to have played the part of a fool to perfection. Ah well, never mind. It’s all in the name of fun anyway.

So for the rest of the day, my colleagues came up to me and told me that I was very good as a witch and I accepted their compliments somewhat bashfully. They even told me that I’m talented at such stuff and am in the wrong profession! Hahaha! My close friends at work told me that “我真的很好, 演得超像巫婆”. But I said that I was very funny and not a tad good at all. MH replied by saying that “你知道好笑跟很好的意思吗? 你是很好, 不是好笑啊!”

Hmm… I know that I have always been good at imitating certain characters and making funny noises. But I never expected people like those in my profession to appreciate such stuff. Even Mr Good Morning came up to tell me that I was superb as a witch. Know what I told him? I said that I was a witch in a past life and we both ended up laughing.

If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE (UTF-8).

Invitation.

2005-09-20T21:15:00.000+08:00

Invitation.

I received a message on my phone this afternoon from an ex-classmate inviting me to his wedding on 12th November this year. I haven’t been in touch with him at all ever since graduation and I wondered whom he got my number from. Come to think of it, my number has remained unchanged for the last 7 years, ever since my uncle and his girlfriend bought me my first cell phone.

Nope, I’m not going to the wedding at all. Because I don’t want to anyway. And I also do not like him at all. He was my classmate when I was doing Law and I don’t think that he liked me very much. Methinks it’s because I always scored better than him in all of my tests and exams! HA! Hmm… I didn’t like my some of my classmates then except for a few. I felt that they were very fake and parasitic in nature. It’s a waste of my time to go to a boring wedding and see all those boring faces that I have no wish to see and make asinine conversations with the airheads gathered there. Worse, they were very Chinese, though I have them to thank for helping improve my spoken Mandarin.

I would rather spend my time with my friends and family or doing something that I enjoy – like curling up in bed and reading my book.

Rainbow!

2005-09-18T22:06:00.000+08:00

Rainbow!

We went for a car ride to Suntec City this evening when I saw a rainbow! It was SO BEAUTIFUL that I couldn’t help taking pictures of it. I think that this is the third time I’ve seen a rainbow within 2 months and this time round, it was a double rainbow.

It's a double rainbow!

Can you see the second rainbow above the main one?

I love rainbows!

Being silly.

2005-09-17T23:57:00.000+08:00

Being silly.

I was doing my stuff when my mum went to hide behind the wall, signalling me to keep quiet and not to let anyone know that she was there. I was wondering what on earth she was up to when I heard the sound of my dad’s footsteps approaching. Then it dawned on me what my mum wanted to do!

When my dad had stepped into the house, out jumped my mum and shouted, “BOO!” like a ghost! HA! You should have seen the grin on his face and the giggles which she was caught in after that. Now I know where my penchant for frightening people come from!

They are a pretty funny couple, my mum and dad. If I ever do get married, I think that I want a marriage like theirs. One that is filled with lots of love, trust, fun, silliness, laughter and the occasional squabbles. Gee, if they can still be so silly at this age, methinks that they will continue to be so when they are in their rocking chairs. Perhaps more so. :0)

We went for dinner with my maternal granny (she’s the only granny I have left now, after my other three grandparents dropped like flies years back) at this place called “Bottle Tree Village” at Sembawang beach. You have to drive through Andrews Avenue and go all the way straight through the deep dark forest before you’ll reach the place. Quite a nice place actually, great view, good food, though the shark’s fins soup was a tad too salty for my liking.

The Bottle trees at the entrance.

The logo.

The description at the foot of the tree.

While waiting for the food to arrive, my granny, Xue and I decided to take a walk around the place and I was like “Wow! Not bad ah. Got fire engine and police car for protection leh.” When I said that, Xue and I stared at each other and you could hear the brains at work. A little glance thrown around told us to walk towards where a group of people was congregated. It was there that we saw policemen, divers, a dinghy and the police boat in the waters. We saw that the area was cordoned off by the police and there was this woman crying away. My granny chatted up this maid who was carrying a toddler and found out that a boy had drowned in the waters and they were looking for his body.

Policemen and divers.

Curious onlookers.

More people.

Do you see the dinghy in front of you and the Police Coast Guard in the distance?

Birthday.

2005-09-15T23:12:00.000+08:00

Birthday.

It seems that today is my Chinese birthday on the lunar calendar. Eh, I’ve honestly forgotten all about it until my dad and Xue reminded me. Now, why would people these days remember their lunar birthdays? I mean, not many people will bother with such birthdays until their parents remind them about it.

Does celebrating my Chinese birthday make me more Chinese at heart? I don’t think so. After the many years here and the occasional stretches of time abroad, it’s difficult for any of my friends or me to admit that we are 101% Chinese. Yes, I do speak Mandarin, with a Beijing twang to it, but I most definitely do not see myself as a pure Chinese. I seem to be more mixed than anything, not in terms of race though.

Busy!

2005-09-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

Busy!

Today’s a very hectic day for me. I didn’t even have the time to take a breather throughout the whole day. At least I wasn’t counting down the hours until the end of the day, which is what I’ll usually do when I am ultra-bored everyday. I got quite a lot of things done today considering that I’m rushing certain stuff.

I like busy days. Especially when I’m so busy that I do not even have the time to eat at all. In a way, I am a workaholic. I like to be busy and have tons of things on hand to complete. More so when my stress level is turned on. I think that I work better with stress than without it. When stress is absent, I tend to slack off, my energy level dips and all I want to do is sleep. I must be kept very busy so that I will not have the time to think about all sorts of things, especially since I have such an over-active imagination.

It’s the middle of the week and soon, Friday will be here!

Flashes.

2005-09-13T22:26:00.000+08:00

Flashes.

I was standing at the photocopier and zapping some stuff when images of the past started to flash across my eyes. I saw the faces of some people whom I’m trying to forget and would not wish to recall at all.

Sometimes it’s bad enough that I think too much of them. Really, it doesn’t help matters at all. Whenever I think about them, I would start to forget all other things and I can spend my time just daydreaming and nothing else. Much as I want to daydream, I cannot afford to do so at work. Especially since I have such a challenging project on hand, I need all the powers of concentration just so as to stay focused and see the project through for the next 5 weeks, or at least until 28th October, for that’s the due date of my project.

Xue said that I should re-think my priorities and try to set things right. She said that I should look somewhere nearer home as opposed to a place that is so far away and out of reach. And she meant M-GM, and not those, you know, few.

Maybe she’s correct, I don’t know. But I do know that all the fun times that I had with those people can never be fully erased from my memory. It is difficult to even try and block these memories from being dug out of the depths. What I cannot comprehend is why these images would suddenly flash through my mind of their own accord. I think God only knows why. Perhaps I know too, but I just refuse to admit the reason.

Why blog?

2005-09-12T21:45:00.000+08:00

Why blog?

Have you ever wondered why people blog, at all? I mean, why would someone blog about the going-ons in one’s life only to have others read about them?

Why do I blog anyway? For the most simple of reasons! Because I want:
1) to rant about my life.
2) to destress.
3) to have fun.
4) the convenience and accessibility of getting to my blog, as opposed to looking for the key to my treasure chest, which in turn, leads to my diary.
5) to share some parts of my life with my friends and people who love me.
6) to keep in touch with my friends and family who are overseas.
7) it to be part of my memory.
8) to re-live what happened the day before, especially when it’s something wonderful, like er, you know.
9) to better remember certain days, events and people in my life.
10) to entertain myself when I’m stuck at some spastic meeting with my computer.
11) to be able to write about things that I would never or seldom talk about with others.

I always like to read about what happened to me in the past and I would laugh, cringe, snort or even blush when I read about all the funny things of yore.

I think that a blog is a place where the reader can steal glimpses into the writer’s life without even having to know the latter at all. It contains some of the writer’s most personal thoughts that are sometimes best kept hidden, though it can be fun to share. It is one where the writer is more apt to show one’s true self that others can rarely get to see in public. Why? Because we wear different faces in our daily lives.

I know because I do, and also because I’ve done Pragmatics (DUH!). I wear a different one when I’m at work, at school with my classmates, at school with my tutors, with my friends and even with my family. It’s as if one is a performer, responding to the change in scene to putting on the role required for the moment, before exiting to take on another role. It can be tiring though.

In school, I’m the blur, incurable scatter-brained girl, who asks a whole lot of questions because she does not understand what is being taught. I think that it’s because of this that my coursemates think that I’m a very stupid student, who always scores Cs. Er, I’ve never bothered to change that impression of theirs. Anyway, I think that they’ve changed what they thought of me, especially since graduation day! HA! At work, I’m the ever-bubbly girl who is never without a smile and is among the top 3 best-dressed people at the office. With my friends, I’m the hopeless girl who goes out in polo tops and Bermudas. They have forbidden me to dress like that some time back and I’m quite used to dressing up (minus makeup – I never put it on) whenever I’m out with them. At home, well, I’m basically just ME! :0)

Exam fever.

2005-09-11T22:55:00.000+08:00

Exam fever.

This is really bad. Jos and Xue are having exams and I’m stuck with nobody to disturb for the next 3 weeks. It’s too bad that their exams are in September. They used to be around the same time as mine, which was the end of October to the first 2 weeks of November. Somehow, their stupid schools changed the start of the entire academic year and everything was thrown into disarray. And I mean all our plans. Sigh… If not for the asinine way that their schools planned the school year, the 3 of us would have been able to leave the country last December, this June and during the upcoming winter break.

So the poor things will only get their holidays in October and return to school sometime in November to December when the entire population of students, primary to tertiary, is having their annual year-end vacation. And yeah, they have to go to school during Christmas week. How boring can that be! Hopefully, I won’t be in Singapore during that week, or for the matter, the entire month, as I’m hoping to spend my holidays with my brothers and their families this Christmas. I’m sure that my parents can spare me this Christmas. Anyway, they would want to see that cute little boy who just joined our family! :0)

Hmm… I know that I can always disturb Ying and Lil, but then again, they will be very busy these few weeks. It’s not as though I have nothing to do. For the next 5 weeks, I too, will be up to my neck in work, and can only look to relax a few days before Halloween.

Ha! I can FINALLY get to enjoy my Halloween this year! Well, I did enjoy the previous ones, but they were always smacked right into my revision and exam periods that I didn’t really have that much fun. Because when I was trying to be whatever character I was that night, my head would always be going through all the stuff that I had to study for my papers. Call it paranoia. I always dreamed about what I had studied at night. In a way, you could say that it was another form of revision.

Come to think of it, I miss exams! Yes, I miss the thrill of studying for exams and the free time that I had. I miss doing all those past-year papers and the feeling of my aching hand after completing all of them. I even miss dreaming about my revision. But I certainly DO NOT miss answering all those phone calls from the irritating classmates of mine who somehow or other, did not bother to take down notes during class and would call to ask for a scanned copy of my notes! Argh! I detest answering my phones (mobile and house) and having to entertain all of the free world. Thank God only An knew my house number. I don’t mind discussing with her what to study and how much I’ve covered. I just didn’t like to attend to the rest of my coursemates, for they can be very demanding at times.

The easiest exams I’ve had so far were my Biology and some of my English papers. They certainly were enjoyable! Did you know that I was smiling when I was doing them? Heehee! My friends and classmates thought me weird (they still do now) when I told them that I enjoyed doing the exams. I even hummed to myself when I was attempting them. Maths papers were the worst, as I never scored more than a B grade for them and I absolutely hate calculations. Physics and Chemistry were all right, but I disliked doing them, as I could never recall whatever law I had to study, though the Chemistry part was fun. Nah, I didn’t flunk those subjects. Got an A grade for them though. Amazing isn’t it, how I can even pass them at all?

I think that the reason why I’ve never been able to perform well for Maths is because I am a memory kind of person. I tend to memorise things, even the steps taken to solve Maths sums. Take one step away or change part of the question and I’ll be lost. That’s why I’m more of a Language and Humanities person. It’s a wonder that I even got to take A Maths in secondary school at all. Poor Mr TKS struggled to make me understand every single concept that he taught in class. I’m surprised that he didn’t hit me with my A Maths textbook when I still couldn’t understand a simple concept or get my sums right even after he had explained for like, the tenth time. I think that I had a major part to play in the sudden increase of white hair on his head at the end of secondary four!

Lost and found.

2005-09-10T23:55:00.000+08:00

Lost and found.

The girl was walking along one of the many corridors when she her ears detected a soft, whimpering sound, coming from a deserted corner. She stopped in her tracks and made a turn for the corner, hoping to find the unhappy soul who was crying and provide some comfort.

It was a dark corner that not even Sun’s rays could penetrate and tried as she could, she was unable to see who was crying there.

Girl: “Why are you so sad?”

Unknown: “Because I am alone… and scared.”

A sense of familiarity stirred in her when she heard the voice. She has heard this voice before, but was unable to recall where she heard it.

Girl: “Why? Are you lost?”

Unknown: “Yes, I am lost. I am waiting for my owner to come find me and love me again.”

Something ached in her and she whispered, “Who are you? Do I know you?”

Unknown: “I am your Heart and yes, you knew me once upon a time.”

Girl: “My Heart? When did I lose you? And why?”

Heart: “You lost me a very long time ago. I was a gift for somebody that you liked, someone who never failed to bring a smile to your pretty face.”

Girl: “Somebody that I liked? Who? I do not remember who that person is now. Not since I left. Can you tell me who it is? Please?”

Heart: “I will show you. Put your hands together on the floor. Close your eyes as you do so and do not open them until I tell you to.”

The girl did as she was told and gasped when she felt something warm jump onto them.

Heart: “Now, open your eyes.”

The girl opened them and saw images that made her want to laugh, smile, cry and wail, all at the same time. She saw the familiar face of that someone whom she lost her Heart to. How foolish she was then! She saw how he had praised her Heart and made it happy. How he had teased her Heart and made it all aflutter. She also saw how he had trampled, trodden and belittled her Heart and made it cry.

Tears welled in her eyes. Before long, they broke the dam that was holding them back and flowed down her cheeks.

Girl: “I’m sorry, so sorry! I didn’t realise how badly you’ve been treated. If I had known, I would never have given you away. Will you forgive me and return to me?”

Heart: “Don’t cry! There is nothing for me to forgive. I have never blamed you at all. It was all meant to be. That is what Life told me. Gladly will I come back to you! We belong to each other.”

Girl: “Thank you! Thank you!”

And she put it close to her chest and let it return to the empty place where it used to occupy.

Girl: “I will never lose you again, I promise.”

Heart: “Hush, my dear. Do not make such a promise. For the time will come when you will lose me to someone else again. This is all part and parcel of Life. Neither you nor I can help it. And I will never be angry with you no matter what happens. I am back with you now and that is all that matters. Nothing else is important.”

Girl: “I love you,” she whispered.

Heart: “I know. I love you too.”

An addition to the family!

2005-09-09T23:01:00.000+08:00

An addition to the family!

My second brother messaged early this morning to inform me that his wife had given birth to a baby boy at around 2.35am. I was so happy when I read his message that I immediately called to congratulate him! Now there’s another kid to play with me when I visit my brothers in December, bringing it to a total of 4 noisy but fun kids. Wish the holidays would come again fast.

I went out with Jos and Xue in the afternoon, just to relax before their exams start next week. Too bad we didn’t alight at Orchard MRT station, otherwise we would have been able to see the police in action. Apparently, a cleaner found a sports bag somewhere at the mural outside the station and it contained a head of a woman with long black hair and some other body parts. So the police were called in to investigate. Then, another bag containing body parts belonging to the victim was found at MacRitchie Reservoir in the late afternoon.

We had pizza and sushi for tea before going to Suntec City for ice-cream at Andersens’. We were seated and waiting for our sundaes to be served when we heard a voice calling out our names. Xue looked up and saw Ying and her friend, S, coming down the escalator and kind of waving at us. They were on their way to the shoe sales at one of the halls.

For dinner, it was at Crystal Jade as Jos had this S$30.00 voucher to spend. It was such fun just to be able to chill and talk nonsense with the 2 of them. I also met my friend, who is a Chinese teacher at a primary school in town, together with her husband. She looked so slim and pretty now! Way better than she did the last time I saw her, which was like 2 years ago. Even her hubby looked “hipper” now, unlike the “uncle” in the past.

In all, it was a fruitful day, especially since I bought a suit, 2 blouses and 6 pairs of shoes! Heehee! :0) I can’t wait for their exams to be over so that we can hang out again.

The Loser.

2005-09-08T23:43:00.000+08:00

The Loser.

My ex-classmate (let’s call her EC for ex-classmate) from campus called up this morning to complain about her boyfriend. It seems that they have quarrelled again and it’s usually over money – so what else is new? EC said that they were browsing at the Comex fair at Suntec City on Sunday when he asked her why wasn’t she buying a laptop, quite a few times. She retorted that she could, if he had returned her the money that he owes her. EC said that his face turned black immediately and he turned sulky and said that she made him lose face in public.

Sheesh! What is the problem with this guy? If you have the guts to borrow money from someone, especially a female, then you should be able to stand teasing about such a loan from her. You know what? Apparently he borrowed more than S$1000 but less than S$2000 from EC just so that he could pay off his credit card bills! IDIOT! If you cannot afford to pay your CC bills, you jolly well leave your cards at home and don’t use them to show off to your girlfriend and other people. Moreover, he said that she had on previous occasions made her lose face in front of his friends and colleagues, which may lead them to think that he is unable to “control his woman”.

GOD! THIS IS ONE HELL OF A MALE CHAUVINIST PIG! YOU DO NOT CONTROL A WOMAN! SHE HAS A MIND OF HER OWN TO TELL HER WHAT TO DO AND WHEN TO DO THINGS.

A guy who feels that he has to control his woman is an insecure idiot and the biggest ass in the whole wide world. Not only that, he is a loser too. I absolutely DESPISE guys like this! They think that the whole world owes them a living and expect everyone to dance to their tune. I really pity this friend of mine and much as I dislike his type, I hope that they can solve their problems soon. Otherwise, poor EC will be moping around at home waiting for his call. It is always the case when they quarrel. She has to be the first to apologise even when it was obviously not her fault.

I remember once when they quarrelled over his getting a lower pay than EC during the semester that just ended. According to her, he complained incessantly about her being paid a few hundred more than him and said that people would think that he’s a useless man for being unable to support his woman. For God’s sake, if you keep on job-hopping, of course your pay will be low. HA! Let it be known that I am the first person to think that he’s a useless bum, not because he earns less than EC, but because he’s an MCP. A naggy, whiny, petty and spastic MCP. He even had the nerve to tell EC that they should meet less often because of the rise in petrol prices! Come on, if you really love your girlfriend, you can definitely get around the petrol increase. Like taking the public transport to her house or when you meet in town. Nobody said that you have to drive your girlfriend whenever you are out.

I am certainly relieved that I am so single and without such stupid problems. That is why I prefer humourous and intellectual guys. This boyfriend of hers is neither humorous nor intellectual and his spoken English is atrocious, though I have to admit, his Mandarin is way better than mine. Also, he is a year younger than her. Eh, this is another reason why I prefer older men. At least they are not as childish like EC’s boyfriend.

Delivery girl.

2005-09-07T23:01:00.000+08:00

Delivery girl.

I went back to campus to deliver mooncakes to my tutors this afternoon, but not all of them were in their office! ARGH!

Of all my English Language and Literature tutors, I only managed to pass the mooncakes to Dr L, Dr MS and Dr W (she wasn’t in campus as she had to leave for a conference that night, so I asked her secretary to pass it to her). Dr D, Dr G and Dr M were MIA (read: Missing In Action) so I gave their mooncakes to my tutors in the Social Studies department instead. I didn’t know who else to pass them to from the ELL department, and since they are the snow skin type that needs refrigeration, it made better sense to pass them to Ms T so that she could put them into her department’s fridge.

Ms T was so surprised when I gave her a box of mooncakes. She said that she would take them home for her mother to try. I complained to her that I couldn’t find some of my ELL tutors so I’m giving her another box. She said that she’d share this box with her SS colleagues during tea. I met Mrs H on my way out and she asked me how I was doing at work, so I told her all about me getting molested during my first month there. Sigh… I also saw Dr A being his usual funny self, but he was busy running about and had no time to entertain me. There was also another tutor of mine who is perpetually suffering from PMS even though he will never admit it, and he was being his usual grouchy self.

I think that I need to buy more mooncakes. I don’t have enough for my primary and secondary school teachers. Hmm… I think that I shall buy them over the weekend and send the mooncakes to school next week. Heeheehee! :0)

I headed down to town to met Lil for lunch and some shopping. Despite us spending the afternoon and evening there, we didn’t buy anything much except for that lip gloss of hers. And for the first time in my life, I COULD NOT FINISH MY DINNER! This is really pathetic. I didn’t know why and how I was unable to eat my dinner. So I asked the waiter to pack my salmon pasta into a doggy bag for me.

Lunch at Fish & Co, Wheelock Place.

The handle of the pan.

Dinner at Coffee Club, Ngee Ann City.

Dessert -- Coffee, tea and tiramisus.

ICT Symposium.

2005-09-06T22:38:00.000+08:00

ICT Symposium.

Hmm… I wonder why I was chosen to attend the ICT symposium today, when I had better things to do!!!! But I don’t regret attending at all.

It wasn’t that bad actually once the whole thing started. I went with a couple of my colleagues in their car and reached there with 15 minutes to spare before the event started. Anyway, the VIPS were late, so the entire thing was delayed by half an hour. I’ve heard about some of the stuff that they were showcasing today when I was doing my final year. But to actually see the whole thing in action and to have the people explain to you the rationale for doing it when they presented their papers, made me re-think how ICT can be effectively maximised in my work.

It was sponsored by Apple and the representative from Apple, Mr Junior Tan, presented on the various ways that one can use ICT to get things done for people in my profession. One of the things he presented included Podcasts and Blogging. It seems that he knows Mr V and have collaborated with him over some projects. He showed the audience one of the Podcasts that he said was the brainchild of Mr V and even showed Mr V’s resume, which was done in the VR kind of way. Have you ever viewed an online showroom before? They always have one where the visitor can click on the room and navigate 360 degrees around the room. That was how Mr V’s resume looked like when I saw it. Cool!

More mooncakes!

2005-09-05T23:00:00.000+08:00

More mooncakes!

Okay. So Lil didn’t buy enough mooncakes during our trip to City Square last Thursday. What would 2 reasonable females do when faced with such a problem? Why, return to City Square to buy more mooncakes of course!

I went to work for about 2 hours in the morning before meeting her to go to Kranji MRT station to take the bus into Johor. The traffic today was smooth and we cleared the Malaysian Customs in less than 5 minutes, way faster than the usual time it took to clear the Customs. No one was free to drive us in, so we unlucky souls had to trudge our way across.

Of all the different brands of mooncakes that I tasted last Thursday and today, I still think that Seasons’ is the best. For the mixed nuts kind, New Hong Kong’s tastes way better than the rest of the brands being sold there. Lil bought 2 more boxes of mooncakes today, while I bought thrice more than her. Now, why would I want so many boxes of mooncakes for, you ask? What else but to give them away as presents!

There was a hitch in our mooncakes shopping spree today and that is the Ginseng flavoured mooncakes, snow skin and over-baked, that I wanted were sold out at City Square. I was helping my teacher to buy 3 boxes and she specifically wanted the Ginseng ones after I told her how nice it tasted. So Lil and I had to take a taxi to Pelangi Plaza to collect 6 of the snow skin ones that were reserved for us, before hailing another cab to take us to Holiday Plaza to buy the over-baked ones. Ah well, at least my granny and mother could get to savour the Ginseng ones again.

We were on the way back when the strap of my slipper snapped, and I had to slide my way back to the shops to buy a pair of slippers! Sheesh! The next time I go to City Square, I’d definitely want to eat the Yami Yoghurt again! Especially the 12oz one. It only cost me RM8.80, way cheaper than in Singapore!

There goes the strap!

I bought the black one with pink straps and heart.

Dead tired.

2005-09-04T18:35:00.000+08:00

Dead tired.

Eh, I was so tired from my 2 excursions last night that I slept in today. By the time I woke up, the house was devoid of all living things except my hamsters and I, so I called McDonald’s for brunch, rather than starve to death. After lunch, I gave my hamsters a bath while washing their cages. I’d wash their cages every Sunday and rotate them among the 2 cages weekly. In this way, each of them will get to stay in the house with a second storey on alternate weeks.

Meerkat, the Sleeping Beauty.

Glutton, the Furball.

Company function.

2005-09-03T23:59:00.000+08:00

Company function.

I had this really weird company function on board the Island Jade Cruiser this evening that I could only go for the Comex fair at Suntec City in the early afternoon. Poor Xue was complaining that it was too crowded, but we braved the crowds anyway. It wasn’t that fun as I was pressed for time and had to be back by 3pm to bathe and get ready as my ride was coming at 5pm. The theme for the night was Fairy Tales and Super Heroes, and I went as Little Red Riding Hood.

All of the people who were going met at Harbourfront before boarding the cruise at 6pm. It was a dinner cruise around the southern islands and we would touch land by 9pm. Now, it most definitely was NOT the size of a normal cruise that most people are accustomed to. To put it nicely, it was a very cosy cruise. In other words, it was about one-tenth the size of a Star Cruise ship! The food was extremely bad, according to my standards and I only had a bite of something fish fillet-looking thing, 2 forkfuls of the vermicelli and a swipe of the fruit punch before parking myself on the sun deck of the cruise for the rest of the evening.

The view was really great and so soothing that I just spent my entire evening on the deck while the rest of the people had fun downstairs. Hey! To each her own okay. What is fun in another’s opinion may not be so in mine. I am the type who, when presented with a choice of the beautiful sea view and a night of “debauchery”, would most assuredly choose the former. I love the view of the sea, islands, boats, ships and most importantly, stars. It was soooooo peaceful to be alone with my thoughts.

Departing from Harbourfront.

Sentosa's Rasa Sentosa Resort.

Some island.

Not sure where.

The clouds resemble a dragon.

There was another person on the deck with me and I call him Uncle Ben. Seems that he is also a Nature kind of person. That guy sure is weird, even though I am a weirdo too. He would stand with his hands clutching the rails and stare out at sea. Sometimes, he would put his head down and sigh deeply. So I wasn’t the only one who had troubling things on my mind. I spent most of my time on the deck seated with my legs drawn up to my chest, my hands hugging them and staring out at sea while enjoying the cool sea breeze. I really liked sitting there and looking out. At least I didn’t have to entertain people, even though I’m in the PR line. Moreover, it was claustrophobic just being inside there.

Uncle Ben.

Cirrus?

Calm.

Another island.

We spent some time chatting about work and he asked me whether I was feeling lost. Now, this is really bad if other people can see it. He said that he was standing there and looking at me when it struck him that I was unhappy. Uncle Ben advised me to forget about the past and just let go. He also said that I have to lower my expectations otherwise I’d find it difficult to get out of this rut that I am in now. Yes, I am unhappy with my work. Though I may look the energetic and happy-go-lucky me on the outside, inside is another story. No matter how bad I feel inside, I always make it a point to smile and look happy. Keeping up appearances is my forte, something that had been inculcated in all Convent girls during my primary and secondary school days there.

When the cruise stopped in front of St. John’s Island, memories of having spent 3 wonderful days and 2 lovely nights there with my class when I was in secondary 3, suddenly came flooding back. I remember the fun times that I had there! Especially the part when we had to go on a treasure hunt and we went exploring around on the island and found this thing called the “Moongate”. It was a rounded archway and was green in colour, if I recall correctly. I was immediately attracted to it, not sure why, and kept on touching it, not wanting to let it go.

St. John's Island -- Revisit.

The mystery connector.

It seemed that my disappearance caused a ruckus during the costume competition part, because they couldn’t find me to take part in it. Eh, I was grateful that I couldn’t be found because I didn’t want to join the contest. I dressed up because I felt that it was fun and sporting. I didn’t even collect the lucky draw prize, which I won. It was only towards the end of the cruise when the people came up to the sun deck to enjoy the night view that they found me and told me all that I’ve missed. One of my colleagues even passed my prize to me later on.

When they came up and saw me huddled in one corner and gazing out, some of them were concerned and asked me whether I was feeling fine. I told them that I was just enjoying the view and didn’t want to go down to join the party. Even if I had to go for the cruise again, I would still choose to spend my time sitting on the sun deck by myself and look out to sea. :0) Especially when I had the company of the lighthouse on the island beside St. John’s, shining its light at travellers.

Beautiful red clouds.

After we docked at Harbourfront, I got a lift from the same colleague who lives near me. He is a very old and friendly uncle who dishes out advice to people prone to depression like I. There were 3 other colleagues in the car beside us and since the food on board was horrendous, we decided to drive to Geylang for supper. Too bad, but we were unable to find a place to park and so had to forage for food at home. But we saw many “little dragon girls” which my colleagues had to point out to me!

Day trip to JB.

2005-09-02T22:28:00.000+08:00

Day trip to JB.

Yesterday sure was a hectic day. I went out with Lil, Lun, Ying and two of her friends who are teachers, to City Square in Johor Baru to buy mooncakes. Actually, it was only supposed to be the 4 of us, but Ying decided to call her friends along, ah well.

They didn’t have to go to school because yesterday was Teacher’s Day, a school holiday for them. Both of them are teaching in the same secondary school. S’s a Biology teacher, while J’s a Maths teacher, somewhere in the western part of Singapore. S brought her book along to read, and was quite quiet during the trip, though she warmed up to us towards the end of it. J was, in a way, chatty right from the start of the trip. Anyway, he talked mostly to Lun and Ying. J reminds me of this Elective classmate from campus. They have the same name, behave in about the same way and can be obnoxious at times. I wonder, do all people with this name behave like this?

Between the 5 of them, they really bought a lot of boxes of mooncakes! I only bought 2 of the mixed nuts one for my dad as he didn’t want too many. If I had bought him a box of 4, I’d most likely be reprimanded for wasting my money. Sigh… Fathers are all alike in this sense. Even when my dear of a mother buys 3 different packets of ham, all with the expiry date of 1 week, my dad is liable to say that it’s a waste of money! This is despite us having different tastes for ham.

When we finally decided to return to Singapore after having spent the last 7 hours or so eating, shopping and hanging out, it was already 6.50pm. Refusing to be caught in the traffic jam, we opted to take the 8pm train back home instead. To while away the remaining one hour, S went to Reds to have her hair cut, while we roamed about on the different floors of the shopping centre.

Train ticket.

Waiting for the train.

Here it comes!

Eh, I haven’t taken that kind of train ever since I was 10 years old, and it was quite fun actually, after all these years. The air-condition on board the train was somewhat missing, so I was immensely thankful for the strong air-con at Woodlands Train Checkpoint. Nothing like home!

As told by a Teacher.

2005-09-01T10:25:00.000+08:00

As told by a Teacher.

“I cried yesterday. I was so touched that you came back to visit me that I couldn’t prevent the tears from flowing. It has been 2 years since I last saw you and I’ve missed you a lot.

My 3F 2000, you were the best class that I’ve ever had. All other classes after you will never be the same again. You taught me how to love, to share my time and to teach. You were the inspiration that kept me going during the years when I was being trained as a teacher. Every lesson plan that I designed, I did it with you in mind. Every single step in the lesson always had me asking, ‘What would my 3F do at this stage? Are they able to do it? Will they enjoy it?’ Because I kept you in my heart and mind, I scored ‘As’ and ‘Bs’ for my lesson plans most of the time. Your love and encouragement kept me going. Without which, I would never have done so well in my years of training.

I thoroughly enjoyed the chat we had yesterday and I wish that we could do it again soon. My memory of you will always remain frozen at the time when you were in Primary 3. Even when I see you, all so tall and grown up now, my mind never fails to conjure up an image of you when you were in my class. I even remember where each of you sat and the behaviour you exhibited then. How eager you were to see me each day, and I too felt the same. I will always remember the way that I’d shout ‘Crooked!’ in the hall and you would automatically move to make the line straight again. When you were awarded the best class for 3 consecutive months in term 3, I recall the pride and joy each of you showed when you came up to my table and wrote your name on the certificate. I still keep them with me now, even some of the essays that you wrote.

I remember that time when we celebrated Children’s Day in the canteen. I ordered such a huge cake and so many pizzas that it seemed impossible to finish them all, but we did anyway. When I asked how to divide the cake and pizzas among all of you, and you brought in the concept of fractions, which you learnt in my class without me telling you, I was so happy. When we went to the zoo to play and learn, I’d never forget the fun that we had at the Children’s Zoo splashing water at each other and playing hide and seek.

When I came back to do my attachment for nearly 2 months in 2002 and 2003, you always welcomed me with open arms. I relish the hugs that we gave each other along the corridors even when your form teachers were present. I recall you asking me to be your teacher until Primary 6 and the words of love that you uttered.

I thought that I would never in my life experience such love again until I saw you yesterday. You took the time and trouble to come and find me, even putting up with the long queue at the gate because of the school’s security measures, just so that we could be together for that precious hour. I was overjoyed at seeing you again that I abandoned my Primary 1 class in the hall while they watched the concert, just so that we could have a little time together at my table in the staff room.

Because I’ve experienced so great a love once, after you went to Primary 4, I have never opened my heart to any other class anymore. The agony of losing you was too much to bear and it really hurt to let go. All classes after you were just, a class. They will never be like you. My heart is closed now, because I don’t want to suffer the pain again. I know that it is unfair to the children, especially my Primary 1s, but I really don’t dare to love again. I would always compare you with whatever class that I teach and think, ‘If my 3F could do it, why can’t this class?’

What people say is correct: First Loves are unforgettable.

But I was fortunate enough to be blessed with 40 first loves by the names of – Ain, Shu Yan, Durga, Hafizzah, Cheuk Ni, Anqi, Xinxin, Li Yun, Yi Xian, Munirah, Nadiah, Norliana, Amirah, Aqilah, Syahirah, Azruhil, Qian Ci, Ailin, Rashna, Joyce, Syaza, Ardy, Ren Yuan, Ming Yuan, Dell, Hezel, Ming Quan, Afiq, Aidil, Harith, Mahdi, Yusri, Wee Keong, Wei Xiang, Rahmat, Samuel, Ee Tat, Marvin, Zhi Kai and Boon Jie.

You are mine for keeps and I am yours too.”

A little chat.

2005-08-30T23:37:00.000+08:00

A little chat.

I was busy doing my stuff when Mr Good Morning came and offered me this tiny packet of nuts. I was glad for the food and told him “thanks”. Less than 5 minutes later, he came back again and asked to borrow my Lavender-scented liquid paper, which I passed it to him.

He: “Eh, I sit here and do okay?” He was pointing to the extra chair at my table.

I: “No problem, just go ahead.”

He: “Can borrow your staple not?”

I: “Take lah.”

After stapling for some time, he told me that my staple got stuck. I was like, how on earth could you do this to my staple, but I didn’t say it aloud. So I got my scissors and used it to rectify the problem.

I: “Wah, you don’t know how to staple lah. Come, I staple for you.”

He: “What you mean don’t know how to staple? 我staple 了几十年了。你的staple坏啦！”

I took the staple and his papers from him and stapled them together without a hitch. Sigh… Somehow or other, we started talking about our work. He said that his work, to quote, really sucked. He said that he had too much to do in too little a time. Apparently, he was supposed to have a meeting tomorrow afternoon, but he had already paid the fee to enter a golfing tournament during the time of the meeting and he was adamant about not going for the meeting. Hmm… I think that he sorted out his problem as I saw him leaving the meeting room later this afternoon. Mr Good Morning told me that his contract will end next June, so I asked whether he would stay on in the same line.

He: “Of course lah! Where else can I go right? But it depends on my mood lah. Most probably stay lor.”

During the course of the conversation, I found out quite a few things. He:

1) likes to play golf and is apparently good at it.
2) likes to play mahjong too.
3) doesn't believe in club memberships.
4) was not good in his studies, so much so that he had to get his degree from Australia.
5) was from a neighbourhood secondary school, which was near my school.
6) is older than me by quite a few years, but younger than Panda by 3.
7) is very observant and a fast thinker – being the only one in the entire office to have guessed my age correctly on the first try.
8) is someone I can chat with.
9) also likes to complain about work.
10) uses Nokia 7210 and 8310.
11) reminds me of a rabbit, don’t know why!

We chatted until it was time for our meeting and I had to remind him of it. Somehow or other, he actually forgot about the meeting! Hahaha!

Xue told me this evening that if and so, I should agree. But I told her that the if and so will probably not happen at all, so nothing doing! By the way, I brought the packet of nuts back for Xue to eat as it is her favourite kind.

If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE' (UTF-8).

Flowers and stuff.

2005-08-29T23:57:00.000+08:00

Flowers and stuff.

Okay. Lately, I’ve been receiving little bunches of roses, a miniature pot of daises and even chocolates and sweets. Look, it’s not as though I dislike flowers, it’s just that I’d much rather receive tulips than roses! Or you could say that I would prefer to receive flowers from a certain someone than any Tom, Dick or Harry! :0) Now my table looks like a florist’s and I’m wondering how I can get rid of them without the givers noticing. Even if I don’t like the stuff at all, I find it extremely difficult to say that I don’t want them as it might hurt the feelings of the senders. So I’ll just have to grin and say “Thank you!” and let the things stay on my table for a few more days before I find a place for them.

I think that I’ll give the flowers to my maternal great-grandmother. She loves flowers of all types, so she’ll probably take care of them better than I ever will. As for the chocolates and sweets, I’ll share them with my maternal granny. She is one old lady who has a very sweet tooth indeed! She even keeps a packet of chocolates beside her bed!

I don’t mind the daises much as I think that they are quite cute and sweet, and especially since they are from Dan. Poor thing, he suffers from a serious lack of self-esteem and doesn’t seem to think very highly of himself. He even hesitates when he speaks to you. It’s not that he doesn’t know, rather, it’s because he’s afraid of saying the wrong things and so prefers to keep quiet. He wrote me a note to thank me for helping him and I was so surprised to receive it. I didn’t think that he would thank me for it at all! Especially since he doesn’t speak much to me and walks about with “I am very blur” on his forehead.

Stupid meeting!

2005-08-27T23:47:00.000+08:00

Stupid meeting!

I really abhor meetings! Especially the stakeholders’ meeting. The ultimately boring meeting started at 8.30am and lasted till 2pm. No, there wasn’t any breaks in between, not even a toilet break. The turnout was so huge compared to previous meetings that I really wonder at the reason for it.

Somehow, I felt like a slave on display, with everybody coming to gawk at me and perhaps, thinking of how much to bid for me. Most of the stakeholders were pretty nice people, except for a few, who thought that everything in the world is theirs and all things must be done their way. IRRITATING!

By the time the meeting ended, my poor stomach was growling like mad and I had to rush down to Borders to meet my friends. Poor things, they too, had to suffer with me and could only eat until I was there.

Miss Popularity.

2005-08-25T23:01:00.000+08:00

Miss Popularity.

I never knew that I was so “popular” at my office until today. The company’s having some stakeholders’ meeting and guess who had to attend? Who else but yours truly. Sigh… Apparently, these people are so “eager” to meet me that they are prepared to come rain or shine early in the morning. See, there goes my beautiful morning. I’d much rather be doing my work or out shopping than attend some stuffy meeting with the stiffnecks.

I totally detest meetings of all kinds! Most of the time I don’t even know what is going on during a meeting. My physical self may be present during the meeting, but my mental self is lost somewhere, floating around, absorbing things that are unrelated to the meeting. I really dislike being asked for comments or questions during such occasions. No, it’s not as if I’m snoozing during those times, but it’s just that I am disinterested in wasting my time being there when I could have done very well with the minutes of the meeting.

This stupid shareholders’ meeting is going to take half the day and I’m going to have to suffer for the duration of it! This is really horrible! Worse of all, I have to do some statistics thing for my immediate boss to be handed in on Monday. Okay, honestly speaking, this thing isn’t as bad as attending the meeting. But I’m just kind of uncomfortable with doing Maths stuff. Somehow, somewhere, there must have been a communication breakdown along the channel. Most people seem to think that I am a genius at Maths when I’m actually a dunce. Sigh…

It’s not only this upcoming meeting. For the past 2 weeks, I have been attending countless number of meetings everyday and it was really getting me down. It got so bad that I had to put in some extra time just to get my daily work completed. Thank God that I wasn't the only one like this. There were other people in the office who put in longer hours than I.

What happened this afternoon was hilarious! I was having tea in the cafeteria when this group of people that I’m working with spotted me on their way for their break. Once they have gotten their food, they started coming towards me like bees to honey. Have you ever seen how bees behave in the presence of honey? ZOOM! Just like that! These people seem to have a homing instinct and within seconds, they were right beside me, asking, “May I sit beside you? May I sit near you? May I eat with you?” I acceded to all of their requests even though I was secretly hoping that I would be left alone to finish my food in peace.

The only intelligent conversation I had with the people who sat with me, was with Bre. He is a very amiable person and somehow reminds me of a hamster in the way he speaks and behaves. We chatted about the foods that we like, what the cafeteria sells and the types of books that we both like to read. Everybody else was just listening and eating. Sheesh! You would have expected a better participant rate in the conversation from the initial response of wanting to sit with me right? Nixay! Despite the big number of people who sat with me, only Bre proved to be a competent conversation partner.

Antagonism.

2005-08-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

Antagonism.

Have you ever told someone that he or she doesn’t dress nicely? I have and my friends do that to me sometimes. Now, I don’t mind if my friends or people I like tell me that, but I draw the line when my classmate or someone whom I do not know very well does that. To me, the term “friend” and “classmate” mean very different things. A friend, according to my definition, is someone whom I am comfortable with, can confide in, chat and be silly with. While a classmate is someone who is in my course of study and one I usually see on campus, and rarely hang out with.

Look, it’s normal to hear things like, “Maybe you shouldn’t wear this.” or “This colour suits you better.” Fine. I can accept it. But I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT when someone systematically takes me apart and tells me what should be done with myself!

I went out with one of my former uni classmates the other day, let’s call her IG for Irritating Girl. When IG first saw me, she started complaining about what’s happening on campus, her tutors and coursemates. I’m used to this as she usually does it whenever we chat, either before or after lessons. THEN, when she has finished ranting and has nothing to complain, she started giving me the once-over and said, “You should put on makeup, like me.”

ARGH! I have never put on makeup except when I absolutely had to and I WILL NEVER put that muck on my face simply because she tells me to! God, just because she found a lip gloss that she thinks, looks nice on her, I should also go and do the same.

I: “No lah, I don’t wear makeup.”

IG: “But you should mah. Especially since you are working now. You must put makeup so that people will notice you what.”

I: “!!!!”

Then she went on and on about what type of clothes I should wear, what colour I’d look good in (black! DUH! That’s not my colour. Just because she uses it to hide her flaws doesn’t mean I have to do likewise!) etc…

SHEESH! I DO NOT NEED TO RELY ON MAKEUP TO GET PEOPLE TO NOTICE ME! Thank you very much! People know that I am there because there are certain characteristics which make me, me.

Look, my classmates and I all know very well why she puts on makeup – to snag a guy. Somehow, we have yet to see the results of this wondrous ability that she claims makeup can do for her. If I had wanted to be impolite and was desirous of having an enemy, I would tell her to go and look into a mirror and scrutinise herself!