A little chat.


I was busy doing my stuff when Mr Good Morning came and offered me this tiny packet of nuts. I was glad for the food and told him “thanks”. Less than 5 minutes later, he came back again and asked to borrow my Lavender-scented liquid paper, which I passed it to him.


He: “Eh, I sit here and do okay?” He was pointing to the extra chair at my table.


I: “No problem, just go ahead.”


He: “Can borrow your staple not?”


I: “Take lah.”


After stapling for some time, he told me that my staple got stuck. I was like, how on earth could you do this to my staple, but I didn’t say it aloud. So I got my scissors and used it to rectify the problem.


I: “Wah, you don’t know how to staple lah. Come, I staple for you.”


He: “What you mean don’t know how to staple? 我staple 了几十年了。你的staple坏啦！”


I took the staple and his papers from him and stapled them together without a hitch. Sigh… Somehow or other, we started talking about our work. He said that his work, to quote, really sucked. He said that he had too much to do in too little a time. Apparently, he was supposed to have a meeting tomorrow afternoon, but he had already paid the fee to enter a golfing tournament during the time of the meeting and he was adamant about not going for the meeting. Hmm… I think that he sorted out his problem as I saw him leaving the meeting room later this afternoon. Mr Good Morning told me that his contract will end next June, so I asked whether he would stay on in the same line.


He: “Of course lah! Where else can I go right? But it depends on my mood lah. Most probably stay lor.”


During the course of the conversation, I found out quite a few things. He:


1) likes to play golf and is apparently good at it.
2) likes to play mahjong too.
3) doesn't believe in club memberships.
4) was not good in his studies, so much so that he had to get his degree from Australia.
5) was from a neighbourhood secondary school, which was near my school.
6) is older than me by quite a few years, but younger than Panda by 3.
7) is very observant and a fast thinker – being the only one in the entire office to have guessed my age correctly on the first try.
8) is someone I can chat with.
9) also likes to complain about work.
10) uses Nokia 7210 and 8310.
11) reminds me of a rabbit, don’t know why!


We chatted until it was time for our meeting and I had to remind him of it. Somehow or other, he actually forgot about the meeting! Hahaha!


Xue told me this evening that if and so, I should agree. But I told her that the if and so will probably not happen at all, so nothing doing! By the way, I brought the packet of nuts back for Xue to eat as it is her favourite kind.


If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE' (UTF-8).

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:37 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Flowers and stuff.


Okay. Lately, I’ve been receiving little bunches of roses, a miniature pot of daises and even chocolates and sweets. Look, it’s not as though I dislike flowers, it’s just that I’d much rather receive tulips than roses! Or you could say that I would prefer to receive flowers from a certain someone than any Tom, Dick or Harry! :0) Now my table looks like a florist’s and I’m wondering how I can get rid of them without the givers noticing. Even if I don’t like the stuff at all, I find it extremely difficult to say that I don’t want them as it might hurt the feelings of the senders. So I’ll just have to grin and say “Thank you!” and let the things stay on my table for a few more days before I find a place for them.


I think that I’ll give the flowers to my maternal great-grandmother. She loves flowers of all types, so she’ll probably take care of them better than I ever will. As for the chocolates and sweets, I’ll share them with my maternal granny. She is one old lady who has a very sweet tooth indeed! She even keeps a packet of chocolates beside her bed!


I don’t mind the daises much as I think that they are quite cute and sweet, and especially since they are from Dan. Poor thing, he suffers from a serious lack of self-esteem and doesn’t seem to think very highly of himself. He even hesitates when he speaks to you. It’s not that he doesn’t know, rather, it’s because he’s afraid of saying the wrong things and so prefers to keep quiet. He wrote me a note to thank me for helping him and I was so surprised to receive it. I didn’t think that he would thank me for it at all! Especially since he doesn’t speak much to me and walks about with “I am very blur” on his forehead.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:57 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Stupid meeting!


I really abhor meetings! Especially the stakeholders’ meeting. The ultimately boring meeting started at 8.30am and lasted till 2pm. No, there wasn’t any breaks in between, not even a toilet break. The turnout was so huge compared to previous meetings that I really wonder at the reason for it.


Somehow, I felt like a slave on display, with everybody coming to gawk at me and perhaps, thinking of how much to bid for me. Most of the stakeholders were pretty nice people, except for a few, who thought that everything in the world is theirs and all things must be done their way. IRRITATING!


By the time the meeting ended, my poor stomach was growling like mad and I had to rush down to Borders to meet my friends. Poor things, they too, had to suffer with me and could only eat until I was there.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:47 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Miss Popularity.


I never knew that I was so “popular” at my office until today. The company’s having some stakeholders’ meeting and guess who had to attend? Who else but yours truly. Sigh… Apparently, these people are so “eager” to meet me that they are prepared to come rain or shine early in the morning. See, there goes my beautiful morning. I’d much rather be doing my work or out shopping than attend some stuffy meeting with the stiffnecks.


I totally detest meetings of all kinds! Most of the time I don’t even know what is going on during a meeting. My physical self may be present during the meeting, but my mental self is lost somewhere, floating around, absorbing things that are unrelated to the meeting. I really dislike being asked for comments or questions during such occasions. No, it’s not as if I’m snoozing during those times, but it’s just that I am disinterested in wasting my time being there when I could have done very well with the minutes of the meeting.


This stupid shareholders’ meeting is going to take half the day and I’m going to have to suffer for the duration of it! This is really horrible! Worse of all, I have to do some statistics thing for my immediate boss to be handed in on Monday. Okay, honestly speaking, this thing isn’t as bad as attending the meeting. But I’m just kind of uncomfortable with doing Maths stuff. Somehow, somewhere, there must have been a communication breakdown along the channel. Most people seem to think that I am a genius at Maths when I’m actually a dunce. Sigh…


It’s not only this upcoming meeting. For the past 2 weeks, I have been attending countless number of meetings everyday and it was really getting me down. It got so bad that I had to put in some extra time just to get my daily work completed. Thank God that I wasn't the only one like this. There were other people in the office who put in longer hours than I.


What happened this afternoon was hilarious! I was having tea in the cafeteria when this group of people that I’m working with spotted me on their way for their break. Once they have gotten their food, they started coming towards me like bees to honey. Have you ever seen how bees behave in the presence of honey? ZOOM! Just like that! These people seem to have a homing instinct and within seconds, they were right beside me, asking, “May I sit beside you? May I sit near you? May I eat with you?” I acceded to all of their requests even though I was secretly hoping that I would be left alone to finish my food in peace.


The only intelligent conversation I had with the people who sat with me, was with Bre. He is a very amiable person and somehow reminds me of a hamster in the way he speaks and behaves. We chatted about the foods that we like, what the cafeteria sells and the types of books that we both like to read. Everybody else was just listening and eating. Sheesh! You would have expected a better participant rate in the conversation from the initial response of wanting to sit with me right? Nixay! Despite the big number of people who sat with me, only Bre proved to be a competent conversation partner.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:01 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Antagonism.


Have you ever told someone that he or she doesn’t dress nicely? I have and my friends do that to me sometimes. Now, I don’t mind if my friends or people I like tell me that, but I draw the line when my classmate or someone whom I do not know very well does that. To me, the term “friend” and “classmate” mean very different things. A friend, according to my definition, is someone whom I am comfortable with, can confide in, chat and be silly with. While a classmate is someone who is in my course of study and one I usually see on campus, and rarely hang out with.


Look, it’s normal to hear things like, “Maybe you shouldn’t wear this.” or “This colour suits you better.” Fine. I can accept it. But I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT when someone systematically takes me apart and tells me what should be done with myself!


I went out with one of my former uni classmates the other day, let’s call her IG for Irritating Girl. When IG first saw me, she started complaining about what’s happening on campus, her tutors and coursemates. I’m used to this as she usually does it whenever we chat, either before or after lessons. THEN, when she has finished ranting and has nothing to complain, she started giving me the once-over and said, “You should put on makeup, like me.”


ARGH! I have never put on makeup except when I absolutely had to and I WILL NEVER put that muck on my face simply because she tells me to! God, just because she found a lip gloss that she thinks, looks nice on her, I should also go and do the same.


I: “No lah, I don’t wear makeup.”


IG: “But you should mah. Especially since you are working now. You must put makeup so that people will notice you what.”


I: “!!!!”


Then she went on and on about what type of clothes I should wear, what colour I’d look good in (black! DUH! That’s not my colour. Just because she uses it to hide her flaws doesn’t mean I have to do likewise!) etc…


SHEESH! I DO NOT NEED TO RELY ON MAKEUP TO GET PEOPLE TO NOTICE ME! Thank you very much! People know that I am there because there are certain characteristics which make me, me.


Look, my classmates and I all know very well why she puts on makeup – to snag a guy. Somehow, we have yet to see the results of this wondrous ability that she claims makeup can do for her. If I had wanted to be impolite and was desirous of having an enemy, I would tell her to go and look into a mirror and scrutinise herself!

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:59 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

空虚。


不晓得为了什么因素，我自从开始上班之后就觉得非常的闷闷不乐。就好像生活里缺少了什么似的，对工作上的每一份事都没什么兴趣。就是那种无心上班，在办公室里有如度日如年的感觉。


想必这种感觉不只是单单产生在我的身上吧。我好几个朋友跟同学都是这样的。起初我还以为是自己的问题，怎晓得世上还会有人和我有同样的感觉。有人曾对我说过，我不能够把自己完全投入在工作里是因为我没把自己的那棵心放入里头。是吗？我真的没把我的心放进去吗？那又是为了什么原因让我不能够把心放进工作的呢？


是否失去了这么一颗心，我就提不起精神来上班呢？那我必须做些什么才能让自己开心起来呢？莹劝我甭去想太多了，把以前所发生过的事情忘的一干二净。可我觉得自己实在是办不到的。要我把我的记忆册除掉就等于叫我把自己的生命灭掉。这是我永远也做不到的事。没有了记忆就没有了未来。失去了这一些的话，我想我没有意志活下去了。


我每天所过的生活跟往常一样的。只是毕了业后就直接被入取进了一间大公司，七月份时才真正开始上班。其实我觉得这次的假期实在是太短了。大家都没能好好的休息，就得开始踏入社会工作，真是太不公平了。念了这么多年的书，突然间被逼出去上班，我总觉得没什么方向感似的。


没有方向感的船到底能够飘到何处去呢？没有方向感的船到底能够飘多久呢？这一艘船究竟何时才会找到属于自己的避风港呢？失去了方向是否等于失去了生命力？到底这残酷的世界有什么人和物值得一个人来留恋的呢？倘若我是一艘船的话，我能选择漂流的方向吗？倘若我是这一艘船，我是否能度过生命里每一个暴风雨，等到雨过天晴呢？


直到天晴的那一天，我是否就能够把紧闭了的门打开呢？


If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE (UTF-8).

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:08 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Deliberations.


I called Ying last night and confided in her what I heard about X. Unlike me, she was not flaggergasted to hear that X is a homosexual, rather, she was glad for the news as it confirmed her suspicions of him. What she cannot accept is the fact that he is sexually active (SA), because she said that it makes her feel very disgusted! Hey, she’s the opposite of me! I can accept that he is SA but I’m still trying to digest the fact that he is a gay, because he doesn’t behave like one with me.


When I called her to tell her that, I had a really difficult time trying to get my words out and she initially misunderstood that some other guy we know, is gay. And I was like “Nope, you heard wrongly. He most definitely is not gay lor, what with his roving eyes and mind.” Ying knows X, but not from campus as she was not from my school. They got to know each other outside school, through some funny activity that I cannot recall now.


She was like, “Argh! I can visualise them in my mind. Why must you tell me that he is SA?!”


I: “…”


Ying: “What I cannot digest is that he has had “boyfriends” and cried when they broke up!”


I: “I can what. Normal mah.”


Ying: “Why did your friend tell you this? Eeee! Better don’t trust her with anything. See, she can even tell someone else what people have told her in confidence.”


I: “I know. I’m beginning to have reservations about her myself. Sigh… I don’t think that I want to go out with her again if she asks me out. She always complains to me about X whenever she sees me or when she calls me on the phone to chat.”


Come to think of it, she usually calls to borrow notes and assignments from me. Notes I don’t mind lending, but not my assignments. Sheesh! It’s your responsibility to do your assignments well. Moreover, I do not want to be embroiled in some plagiarism scandal in school at all!


Ying: “Better stay away from her. Not a very good friend if she can betray others’ confidence. Why did she tell you huh?”


I: “Don’t know leh. I wonder whether is it because I know some of the people that he knows?”


Ying: “Not very clear. I wonder what her motive is for telling you this.”


I wonder too. If Z told me all this with the intention of hurting X and Y, then I’m sorry to say, it’s not going to work. Rather, I think that I’m beginning to understand and sympathise with certain of X’s behaviour in school, especially those concerning his schoolwork and working with people.


I feel sad for his parents because they are going to blow a fuse if and when they realise that their son is a homosexual. Because they are very hung up on the “face” issue. To them, having “face” is more important than anything else. Even misbehaviours can be condoned so long as they can have their “face” and maintain it too. Hmm… I am suddenly reminded of Dr L’s lectures on Facework. It will be a huge blow for his parents especially since he comes from a very traditional family and I hope that they will never find out. At least, not until he is ready to move out and live on his own. Can you imagine being ostracised by your own family?


Ying and I are still wondering how to broach the topic with this close friend (not from school) of X, whom X usually tells his stuff to. Sigh…

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 10:51 AM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

All the best Mr V!


Dear Mr V,


I was happy to see you once again when I went back to campus on Friday, but was saddened to hear that you will not be teaching here anymore. Why is it that all my English Language and Literature tutors are leaving one by one? Dr K, Dr Ln and Dr L have already left the school and now it’s your turn. At least you are going to a place which sounds more interesting than our school and I hope that you will be happy there. Eh, may I bunk in with your family when I’ve saved enough for a holiday in that country? I can save A LOT of my money this way. :0) Please ask Mrs V and Junior V on my behalf!


I remember our first lesson in the Mac lab and I was sitting at the table in front of the teacher’s table with An, when you showed us your homepage with the pictures of your family. And I asked An in Japanese something about your family, when you replied in Japanese on An’s behalf. That was hilarious and a bit embarrassing, as you weren’t supposed to be listening and answering at all! I enjoyed all the lessons with you, though I apologise for my inattentiveness during your lessons and I am grateful to you for putting up with my endless stream of questions and snide remarks during class.


You might not know it, but I was overjoyed at finding someone who can speak computer jargon and who knows about the functions and capabilities of different OS and other gadgets. It was extremely tough to be unable to talk about computers and gadgets stuff with most of my classmates beyond the aesthetic aspects of the items. Especially since I like IT and IT-related stuff. At least there was someone who understands me when I talk about scripts and will not think that I am talking about essays or movie scripts! Sheesh!


In all verity, I was surprised that I performed so well for the module, as I recall that I wrote something wrongly during the exam and my grade for the pair assignment with An was just a B+. I had really thought that I would get a mediocre grade. Thank God that it was a minor mistake, otherwise I would not have gotten that much-coveted grade at all. Thank you for letting me know that you were happy for me, for getting A for the module. I am relieved that I did not let you and everyone else who had faith in me, down.


Thank you once again for being my teacher. You are one of the more fun and liberal tutors I have ever encountered on campus. You also do not constrain yourself to thinking within the box, which An and I did. May God bless you in your future endeavours!

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 1:47 AM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Unexpected news.


My elective classmate called up this morning and asked me to go shopping with her. I didn’t want to go with her, as I’d rather be lazing around at home and catching up with my reading. But I haven’t seen her since she went to hand in her assignment in April, so I decided to meet up with her today.


Z's in her third year now and we took the same elective 2 years ago. Over lunch, she started to complain about this guy in her class and that he is irritating, idiotic etc… I know that guy too, because he is her classmate and was also in my elective class then. Later, she said something that was really unexpected – that the irritating guy (X) and Y are gays. Now, I know both of them and somehow or other, they don’t seem gayish to me at all. Apparently, both of them confided in her their sexual preferences on separate occasions when they were in year one, but they are not a couple. According to Z, she said that Y’s the masculine type while X’s the feminine type. 她还用 “有通” 跟 “没通” 这两种形容词来形容他们的性趋向! 当时听到的时候我还有点呆住呢。直到她用英语来跟我解释，我才彻底的明白那字的意思。


Y’s family knows about his sexual preference and has accepted him, but X’s family is still in the dark. The only person who knows about it is brother, who had advised him to be “straight” again but to no avail. Now I know why when one of my classmates hinted to Y that she likes him, Y pretended not to understand and even started to avoid her at times. Poor girl! They are pretty nice people to chat with and I enjoyed my lessons with them. Would I avoid them now that I know that they are “crooked”? Nay. Why would I want to do that? There’s nothing wrong with choosing something different as long as it’s your own choice and you take responsibility for it. Z confided that she doesn’t dare to share food with Y and X because they are sexually active. She said that she’s not taking any chances at all, just in case they contracted some diseases and that they might pass it to her. Okay, it might be good to be on the safe side, as long as they don’t feel slighted.


I’m fine with gays. Actually I used to have a gay classmate when I was studying Law and he was a fun and nice guy to chat with. He’s also very “sisterly” and was always ready to dispense advice on how to dress up, what make-up to put on and the different positions one should take during intercourse. We used to sit in our group checking out the guys that walked past in school and he would be full of comments for each one of them. Moreover, I spent my 10 years in a Convent where there were many pairing-ups between the girls in school, so I’m pretty accepting of them anyway.


When I told Z that X once told me that one of the lecturers in school is quite gayish, she immediately replied “it’s confirmed he is lor, because a gay can recognise another gay mah”. Now, I know this lecturer and he was my tutor for a couple of modules, but I don’t think that he is one. Yes, I agree that he is an ultra-sarcastic person who, according to some of my classmates, thinks that he’s God’s gift to humankind. But I can take sarcasm well and am adroit enough to insert some of my sarcastic remarks into the conversation whenever I talk to him. Gay or not, I think that they are pretty normal people, to me at least.


Z and Jay have something in common – they are not enjoying the same module that they have to do this semester. Ah well, they’ll probably start to enjoy the module later on in the semester. It was an easy module for me and a fun one too. Wish I could turn the clock back in time and do it all over again! And probably my grades for that module would be A* instead of an A. Heeheehee!


If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE' (UTF-8).

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:35 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Fun and laughter!


I went back to campus this morning to collect my degree certificate, as it wasn’t ready during my convocation in July. Jay gave me a lift to school as she lives across the road from me. She has 8.30 classes every day so it made more sense to hitch a ride from her and be early in school then to go by myself. Jay’s taking Social Studies this year because she’s in her third year and apparently, she doesn’t like her tutor much. Neither did I, though I never had her tutor in all my semesters there, despite her being one of the co-lecturers for my Social Studies modules that I had to take. Thank God! But I spoke to her once as An wanted to change her tutorial class to mine but to no avail. I still remember what that tutor said. “We will entertain each request on a case-by-case basis and you cannot choose which class you want to go to. We will allocate a class with the requested timeslot for you.”


Our reactions on hearing that were, simply put, extremely annoyed and frustrated. I mean, why can’t An be slotted into my class if someone in it wants to do a mutual swap with her? The girl, Lar, who was willing to swap with her didn’t get to do so, and was deprived of a chance to work with her boyfriend on the assignment. Guess which two people ended up doing the assignment together? Who else but Lar and I! Poor An got switched to another class, while Lar’s guy had to find someone else to do the assignment with. Sigh… This is a definite example of how inflexibility impedes productivity. The four of us were so annoyed with that tutor but there was nothing we could do about it, except to just grin and bear it. Moreover, it was our final semester in school and we wanted it to pass without event.


Now it’s poor Jay who has to endure one whole semester with that tutor and she hates to go for her class every Friday. She’s hoping that she will get a new tutor for next semester instead of being stuck with her for the whole year, because she’s said that it would ruin her interest in Social Studies and dampen her mood for the field trip assignment for the next module. I thank my lucky stars that I had wonderful tutors throughout my 4 years on campus. At least I didn’t have that Biology tutor who locks people out of the lecture theatres and tutorial rooms the minute her class starts. So all the latecomers had to wait outside for the class to end before they were able to explain why they were late to her.


She had to do an article review which was due today and she was still short of 400 words. When she met me in the morning, she confided that she was worried that she would not be able to drive well, because she only had an hour or two of sleep because she was rushing to re-do her review. Jay told me about the article that she chose and asked me for my opinions etc… It was so easy to do! I listed some of the weaknesses that she asked for and the implications in a local context. Eh, it was the least I could do since I was hitching a ride to school.


I FINALLY got my degree certificate later on in the morning. Just nice too, as the plaque-making people messaged me to remind me to fax a copy to them. I’ll do it on Monday as it won’t be that much of a rush for me then. I was so happy at getting it that when I returned to the office, I showed it to colleagues and superiors and they were like, “Congratulations! Wah, you toiled for 4 years just to get this piece of paper!” But I had fun and learned lots of things, which is much more than I can say for working life.


I had fun chatting with all the tutors whom I saw and complaining to each and every one of them how I was coping at work. I took the opportunity to give out the cards and presents to them as I didn’t want to send them by snail mail. I still have a couple left to give, but I’ll probably send them by normal post since it’s not for the entire department type of thing. It is weird that of all the questions people ask after they have not seen you for some time, the issue of having a partner invariably crops up during a conversation. My Social Studies tutor, Ms T, asked me whether I have found any potential candidates for the post of my boyfriend at the office and I told her no. I’m not one for office romances anyway. She said to consider Mr Good Morning but nay, he’s not my type. Because I don’t like guys who:


1) are unable to hold my gaze during a conversation with me.
2) looks at everywhere, especially the floor, but me when we are talking to each other.
3) have difficulty speaking to me without mumbling.
4) is improperly attired for work – he either wears a polo t-shirt or a soccer jersey to work, breaking the dress code, and
5) asks to borrow my things when he could have borrowed them from his neighbour behind him, especially since he has to walk to my table when it made better sense to stretch out his hands and get the stuff from the other guy. Please, it’s not that I’m selfish and don’t want to lend him my stuff, but I was busy with my work and didn’t want to be interrupted by anyone, regardless of whether that person is a male or female.


I think that the ultimate reason is that I’m still hugely aware of someone whom I’m not supposed to think about ever since I put a stop to it last semester. What Ying quoted from Shakespeare was correct, “ What’s past and what’s past help, is past grief.” Jos, I think that the reason why I dreamed about him out of the blue is that I miss the fun and laughter that we shared. Especially since I’m kind of short in that department at my workplace currently. Or, it could be that I miss engaging in those intellectual discussions and pitting our wits against each other. Is it true that the person whom you fancy and see every day is usually not the person who will be your boyfriend / girlfriend?


It was not only Ms T who inquired about the issue of my boyfriend. Dr A also asked the same thing. And I told him that I prefer intellectual ones. Too bad that the office is short on such guys. Other tutors whom I met later also expressed their curiosity about that topic. What really takes the cake was when I gave Mr C his card and stuff, which were in an envelope, he asked me, “You’re getting married ah?” Sheesh!




Jos, thanks for rushing to meet me from school at a moment’s notice this evening. I was so filled with joy that I wanted to share some with you and Xue. Reflect upon your decision to give up on your QQ. You could start by reading some of the books that he reads so that you’ll be able to have more things to talk about the next time you’re together. (See, I told you that he reads the same types of books as I do!) So it might be worthwhile to invest some of your time surfing the net for stuff like Plato, Socrates and The Classics. Plutarch’s “Lives” is also not bad, though it might be a bit dry for you. Frankenstein is boring, but only in the beginning because Shelley had to set the background scene for her story, which is a story within a story. Hey! You can always borrow mine if you like. *wink*

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:29 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Settling in.


The girl stood by the window and gazed out as she has always done.


Outside, the sky was cloudy and hinted of the approaching shower that was long overdue. The Wind was blowing, sometimes gently, sometimes hard, at the leaves hanging from the trees. When the Wind blew too hard at the squirrel, it caused the squirrel to drop the nut it was holding in its hands, earning it a torrent of violent remarks from the animal. The girl laughed at the squirrel’s reaction and turned her head to her friend, beckoning it to come closer.


“Where have you been?” she whispered.


Wind: “Across the oceans and the continents. Why? Did you miss me?”


Girl: “Yes, very much. I am all alone here without you to talk to. I looked out of the window every day and wish that you were beside me. I am glad that you’re finally back with me.”


Wind: “I have never really left you, did you know? No, I returned every night to peer through your window when you were sleeping. When I was tired out from my journey, Moonlight caressed your face on my behalf, while Sunlight did it for me before you awoke.”


Girl: “I know. I could feel you around me but when I turned, you were not there. I heard your whisperings and they comforted me when I was sad.”


Wind: “Don’t be sad. You have no need to be anymore. I am back here with you now.” And with that, Wind reached out and tilted the girl’s chin.


Chuckling, she moved her hand as if to swipe Wind’s away, but it was too fast for her. It ran wildly around the room before slowing down to stroke the girl’s hair. Sitting on her bed with both legs drawn up to her chest, she was tracing circles on the sheets when Wind asked, “Are you settling in well?”


Girl: “I… I don’t know.”


Wind: “Are you happy?”


Girl: “I am happy at times, but I am also unhappy.”


Wind: “Why? What are you unhappy with?”


Girl: “With Life.”


Wind: “What has Life done to make you so unhappy?”


Girl: “She didn’t give me what I want.” Having said this, the girl turned her face away, towards the window.


Wind: “What do you want my child?”


Girl: “I… I want…” Her eyes brimming with tears, she turned to face her friend and both element and human sat in silence while the minutes ticked away.


Wind: “You cannot always have what you want my dear. It has never been Life’s intention to allow mortals to have their way. She has her own set of rules for every single living thing in the world and you have to live by it.”


Girl: “But it’s not fair! It’s really not fair! I can’t wait! I don’t want to wait!” The tears started to flow down her cheeks and the girl was sobbing now. One’s heart hurt just to hear the sound. It was as though the world has come to an end.


Wind: “Hush! Hush! Don’t cry my dear, sweet child. I know what you want. It is written all over your face. But you cannot have it, not just yet. Not just yet.”


Girl: “But I want it now. Now. Will I have it?”


Wind: “I don’t know my friend, I really do not know.”


Girl: “Will I ever be able to have it in my life?”


Wind: “Yes, I believe that you will. Wait for Life to show you her secrets herself. And for this, you have to wait for Time too. For the two of them are the very best of friends, as one cannot exist without the other. Life has some pleasant surprises for each and every one of us, but we cannot rush her. If we do, there is a chance that she might be annoyed enough to turn them into unpleasant ones. Something that you and I do not desire at all. Let it happen naturally child, you have all the time in the world for that.”


Girl: “But I…”


Wind: “Shush…” Caressing her face softly, Wind continued. “Youth is one of the greatest gifts that Life has given to you. Use it wisely. Do not waste your time wishing for something to happen, for it usually does not work at all. Use the Youth that Life has given you meaningfully, for Youth is like Spring. Once it blooms, it will stay sweet as long as it is allowed. When the time is up, it is lost to you forever. Many a times have I seen people failing in their attempts to regain their youth. No one person can ever fully accomplish that at all.”


Girl: “Will I…”


Wind: “She will yield her secrets to you once it is time for her to do so. Not sooner and definitely not later. You have not reached that stage yet. My dear friend, bear in mind that Life’s happenings can never be rushed at all. You’ll have to take what she offers you, one at a time. Not everyone can ever have what he or she wants in life. If you do, then you are lucky. If not, then you’ll just have to wait for another round. Be strong my child. You must be strong. For when you are strong, only then can you be happy. Happiness is something that is so rare in humans these days. True happiness is something which cannot be bought at all. It is something that comes from the deep recesses of your heart. A warm, contented feeling that makes you want to smile. A feeling that makes you want to laugh and share your joy and laughter with all around you. Have you ever felt this way lately?”


Tilting her head to the left, “Yes,” she replied.


Wind: “Then be contented, for you have been happy. Be thankful that you have had the reasons to be happy. Let all the happy moments erase all the unhappy ones. When you are happy, Life is too. And when Life is happy, who knows what wonderful surprises she might suddenly decide to shower on you? So don’t cry my dear. Your tears are too precious to be shed over something so trivial as this. A child so young should not have cause to grief. Leave the grieving to the Elders for it is their right, not yours. Learn to live and hold on to Youth before she slips away from your hands.”


Girl: “I’ll try.”


Wind: “You will do more than that. You will allow yourself access to only happy thoughts and nothing else. For when you are happy, I am too. When you are sad, I am sad too. Would you want me to be unhappy, my little changeling?”


Girl: “No, I do not.”


Wind: “Then stay happy for me. Promise that you will be happy always.”


Girl: “I promise.”

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 5:49 PM ~ ~ ~
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Silly quarrels!


I don’t know what the problem is lately, but Meerkat and Glutton just cannot seem to get along. So poor little me had to go and get another cage and separate them for the time being.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:16 PM ~ ~ ~
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Head lice and shit.


I have a friend who is a teacher in a neighbourhood primary school in Sembawang. She has been there for the past few years and is, I think, quite settled down in her position. What she told me today, took place last week and it was something that affected the entire level in her school.


ML said that there was an outbreak of head lice among the primary 3 students and it originated from class 3D. When the teachers first heard the news, there were sounds of “EEEEWwwwwww!” and “Yucks!” all round. The bad thing was that each and every one of the teachers in primary 3 had to use their hands, without gloves mind you, to search through their students’ hair. They were on the lookout for the lice and eggs. One of the teachers found fully-grown lice hiding in her student’s hair, while ML found tiny eggs stuck to one of her student’s hair. She said that they were of the kind that stuck fast and refused to budge when she tried to pry them out.


When I heard this, I calmly told her that she would be better off not meeting me for the next month or so, as I didn’t want to contract head lice from her!.


ML: “Wah lau ah! It’s not even me lor. It’s my student leh.”


I: “Eeeee! I’m not taking the chance lor. Who knows, they might be hiding in places where you cannot find them! Moreover, you might have touched your own hair after touching your kids’ hair.”


ML: “Kanna sai lah you!”


Hahaha! I think that I got her scratching away then!


I think that all the funny things seem to happen in her school. Take today for instance, she told me that this primary 1 boy shat in his shorts outside the general office. Before his teacher could be found to attend to him, he had taken off his soiled shorts and entered the office! The entire office stank of his shit! ML said that the teacher assistant who was helping out with the primary 1 registration for next year, sat at the table and laughed at the boy! I would too if I were there and witnessed the whole incident!


Then, one of the school clerks started to spray the office with her can of air freshener, but you could still smell the shit in the office. According to ML, she said that it was fortunate for the boy that his PE shirt was long to cover little organ. Otherwise, it would have been even more hilarious for the people who witnessed it! Heehee, I think that the boy will be known throughout his remaining years in the school as “the boy who took off his pants”!

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:32 PM ~ ~ ~
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School stuff.


Some people were commenting that Ph.D is the highest qualification that one can achieve and I couldn’t help joining in their conversation. They asked me what I have gotten thus far and I willingly shared the information with them. A few of them were like “Wahhhh! So good ah!” And I was mentally rolling my eyes at them. Sheesh, what I’ve gotten is not that good anyway. It is simply quite low-rung in my opinion.


I couldn’t resist telling them that I would rather study, than work here if I had the choice. When they heard that, Con asked me why. I said that it is more fun than working. I also said that if it weren’t for the fact that I am here with them now, I’d probably be doing my postgraduate studies. You should have seen the wide eyes all around when I said that!


Poor things! I think that they thought that I didn’t want to be with them! Hahaha! :0)

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 10:30 PM ~ ~ ~
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No Presidential Election.


Of all the things to happen, the election had to be cancelled. Now I can’t even get to vote at all! ARGH! This is so damn irritating! I have been looking forward to voting and being part of the whole thing since last year and now my hopes are dashed. Sigh… It was supposed to be so much fun just being there to cast my vote and fulfilling my other duties.


But, NNNNOOOOOOOO! They had to say that there would be no election at all. Why must they keep the poor souls like me in suspense for so long only to cancel the election?! Everything was ready and in place. What was lacking was the go-ahead from the Elections Committee. Now poor, poor me will never get to vote at all. Like many others, I was disappointed to read of the non-election. Ah well, I can only set my sights on the General Election that’s rumoured to be held next year.


No matter what, I am still very annoyed that I cannot get to vote at all! Eh, what’s the use of attainting legal capacity if I can’t even exercise my basic right to vote? There are other duties that I was ready to fulfill had there been a Presidential Election. Now it seems that I do not have to perform them at all. What a waste!

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:47 PM ~ ~ ~
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Recent dreams.


Now this is really bad. I’ve been dreaming about Panda for the past 2 nights. Why do I still dream about him when I no longer see him? Please, I’ve even stopped thinking about him lately and the dreams came as a shock to me.


My first dream on Thursday night was this: Panda was talking to this guy from his workplace, when I suddenly came up from behind him and hugged him. I slid my left hand from under his left arm while my right hand went over his right shoulder and down his chest, before both my hands met and closed on each other. It felt so wonderful to nuzzle my head against his left shoulder! His right hand came up and started stroking my head, while he reached out with his other hand to touch mine.


Then the next dream on Friday happened this way: I was out shopping with my mum at this department store when I spotted Panda far in the distance. I wasn’t wearing my spectacles, but my contacts and I pretended not to see him at all. We were browsing through some things in the trolley or whatever it is called, when Panda came up and stood directly across the trolley facing me. I didn’t know where my mum was at that time, but that didn’t matter anyway.


He said “Hi Skye!” and smiled at me. I pretended to look up suddenly and apologised for not noticing him earlier, giving the excuse of being unable to see clearly as I was not wearing my glasses. He said “never mind” and some other things that I couldn’t remember and was smiling at me throughout the conversation. I sensed that he wanted to tell me something else but was unable to probably because of the crowd. We said “goodbye” to each other and promised to meet up some other time.


Sigh… Why do I still dream about him now? What is wrong with me?! I thought I was entirely over him, but my dreams have shown me that I am not. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME?!

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:56 PM ~ ~ ~
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Short week!


I love this week! It is so short that I only need to go to work for 2 whole days! Yippy! Life is good! Though, I had to show my face for 2 hours on Monday, but that was fine with me, for I went out with Lil to shop in town after work. She wanted to go to Robinsons because it was having some cosmetics sale. Me? I was on the lookout for clothes for some company function coming up soon.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:23 PM ~ ~ ~
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A minute tribute.


Since the world was created, an
Island little though it is.
Not one that many people believed in, a
Great mistake this is.
A country whose only resource is its people, and
Productivity is its key.
Onward looking it will always be,
Realising all its dreams, for
Ever more a home of mine, my sanctuary and my life.


Happy 40th Birthday Singapore! :0)

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 1:28 PM ~ ~ ~
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Study in Australia Fair.


Xue, Jos and I went to Orchard Hotel for the fair this afternoon. Actually, I didn’t want to go with them, but I have been feeling pretty bored lately (actually, I kind of feel bored every day, don’t know why), so I decided to join them for this little outing. Was I glad that I tagged along! It turned out to be quite fun anyway.


When we got there, they had to fill in some forms stating their grades, current course of study and number of completed semesters. While they filled in the forms, I went looking around and found this big goblet filled with sweets. So I went and took some for us to munch on when we were inside the ballroom. Why didn’t I fill in the forms you ask? It’s because the fair was primarily targeted at undergraduates, not postgraduates. So while they were picking up information on the undergraduate courses available in the different universities in Australia, yours truly was going around collecting information on the types of postgraduate courses that I could take.


Xue and Jos seemed to prefer the courses at UNSW, so we loitered around their table hoping for a chance to talk to one of their representatives. Then this adorable (read: great sense of humour) Caucasian uncle from UNSW came up to us and asked us what courses we were interested in. He left us for a moment, returning soon with 3 booklets of undergraduate courses available. When he offered one to me, I told him that I was actually interested in the postgraduate courses that they have. He raised his eyebrows and said, “So the shortest one in the group is interested in pursuing a postgraduate course eh?” We laughed when we heard that. I think that he was surprised at my not being an undergraduate, because I look like Xue and Jos’ age group or even younger. Certainly not my age or older at all! Heeheehee! :0)


During our conversation with him, this funny guy divulged that he had been an ambassador to Thailand for a few years and have lived in Indonesia in the course of his work recently. We talked about the pronunciation of the people from the different countries and in the region and he demonstrated quite a good amount of knowledge of the Singlish to us. He said that for the course that I’m interested in, experience is not essential, but preferable. I would love to do my Masters at UNSW not by coursework, but by research. However, I know that it is not possible in my current condition. No, it’s not that much of a matter of money. This can be solved easily, but more of a matter of obligation to my organisation.


If I could start my studies next Summer, then Jos and I will be able to share an apartment together before Xue joins us a year later. What fun we will have then!

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 9:17 PM ~ ~ ~
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Mr Good Morning.


I just realised that I haven’t updated you on Mr Good Morning lately. Well, he’s sitting directly across from me. But because we are encased in a cubicle, we don’t get to see each other’s face because of the partition. However, he always has to pass by my table on the way to his, as mine is just next to the door.


On Tuesday, he came to me with a blank map of Singapore with only the outline and asked me to gauge where Jurong Bird Park was. I pointed to the area where I thought it could be. Anyway, it’s somewhere near NTU so I couldn’t have been that wrong. Less than 10 minutes later, he came to my table again and asked to borrow my glue. Now, I have 4 bottles of glue in his line of sight, so I just pointed to them and told him to help himself. The man seemed so thankful that I was willing to lend him my glue! Sheesh!


Xue said that he might be interested in ……. But I told her no, I don’t think so, not in that sense. Moreover, I just joined the organisation and my mind and heart are still stuck on campus. I also do not like him in that way. I am not very receptive to romances in the office. For one, if the relationship fails, it might be difficult to continue working together, what with us sitting so near. Then, people might gossip behind our backs, which is a huge no-no for me.


The ultimate reason why I cannot accept it, if it were for real, is because I still cannot forget…

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 10:05 PM ~ ~ ~
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National Day dinner.


Okay, the dinner wasn’t that bad actually. Nope, it wasn’t fun, but I enjoyed the food a lot. Let’s see, they served a Chinese 10-course dinner at my table and all I remembered was the shark’s fins soup that was served midway through the dinner. It was somewhat watery and the fins were pretty sparse. I am certain sure that fake fins were used to prepare the dish. For one, the fins didn’t taste like those at the famous restaurants that my parents brought me to.


There was a concert for the diners while we were eating, but I wasn’t paying much attention to them. Food was more important to me at that time. Oh yah, one really asinine thing was that I had to stick this sticker that said “Chinese Guest” on my shirt. As if people cannot tell whether I am a Chinese or not! Sheesh!

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:58 PM ~ ~ ~
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Stickers galore!


The stickers people came to my office today. This is the second time that they are here, the first time was on 21st July. They were back by popular demand, as the stickers are just so cute! It’s the personalized kind and you have to choose a design, the font and what name you want on each sheet. The company sponsored the initial S$15.00 the first time round and any excesses have to borne by the individual. Today’s one was entirely borne by the people buying.


I bought about S$70.00 worth of stickers today, somewhat more than what I paid the first time. This is probably because of a particular holiday which is coming up and I decided to buy for this group of people whom I know, and another special group of people whom I have know for a long, long time. In a way, this is a “thank you” gift for the former group, for being there for me during those couple of years, and also, for tolerating me and my never-ending questions and uncalled-for comments. My colleagues think that I am nuts to buy for these people, but I think that they themselves, of all people in the world, would understand.


It does not matter what your gift is, but the thought behind it. When you buy something for someone, the most important thing is that you were thinking about that person at that point in time. Nothing else matters very much after that. I mean, if that person wasn’t on your mind, you wouldn’t even be buying something for that person at all right?

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:40 PM ~ ~ ~
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Changing schools.


I just got off the phone with this friend of mine who is a teacher. She’s not very happy lately, especially since she just switched to a new school. She told me that her P6 students are not receptive towards her and have commented that her lessons were boring. Sheesh!


I mean, you do not tell your teacher to her face that her lessons are boring right? What kind of attitude is that?! Worse, what type of values have the parents inculcated in their children?! This is just downright rude and if I were in her shoes, I’d reply, “Then you don’t be in my class. If you think that my lessons are boring, then get your bloody arse out of my classroom!”


I totally detest people who are incompetent in the manners department! It certainly shows what kind of upbringing that they have been subjected to. If and when I ever have children of my own, I will ensure that they are well-mannered not only to their elders, but also their peers. Come to think of it, if I do have kids of my own, I may not even want them to be educated in Singapore (if I can afford it). Why? Because I just don’t want to anyway.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 10:12 PM ~ ~ ~
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The elephant.


I absolutely love Tuesdays (after Fridays of course)! It is the shortest day of the week and I don’t have that much to do at the moment. What is enjoyable is that I have 2 and a half hours to myself without having to listen to the incessant noise that some people persist in making. Yes, the mindless chatter of some will never fail to drive me crazy. I must admit, I have an aversion to noise. Why I submit myself to such torture, I really don’t know. Some things that were fun a few years back, are no longer fun now. If only I could turn the time back, but then again, maybe I don’t want to.


Ying told me that I need to forget certain things and move on. Now, this may sound easy to do, but in reality, it is an arduous task to undertake. Why? Because I am an elephant. Not that I have elephantine characteristics throughout, but there is something in common between an elephant and I. And that is the memory. Like an elephant, I remember. I do not forget. Every single thing that has happened to me, I remember. I remember every trespass that every single person has done to me, I also remember every good thing that every one has done to me. And I will remember them always. I savour every moment that brings a smile to my face. They may not always be on my mind, but they are there when I need them.


I wonder whether it is because I am a female that I remember all and sundry. I feel that having such an elephant-like memory is good for me. Without it, I probably won’t be able to remember so many things and people. Then, I’d definitely have trouble being myself.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:14 PM ~ ~ ~
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Fun (for some!)


I finally carried out some experiential learning stuff today. I got some people to role-play certain characters and asked the rest of those in attendance, for the positions of their mates. Eh, they sure love to move about. I prefer to sit still and listen instead of moving. Ah well, at least most of them had fun today.


Today is the start of week 6! Yay! I am so damn happy! I can’t wait for next week to arrive. I love National Day! Why? Because I do not have to go to work for 3 days! Which means that I’ll be having a LLLLLOOOOONNNNGGGG weekend off! Ain’t it the best? Although I have to show my face for about 2 and a half hours on Monday, but it’s not so bad actually. I’ll be going out with Jos and Xue after that. I can’t wait!


Then, in week 7, I only have to go to work for the first 3 days. Apparently, the organization’s having some assessment on the later 2 days, so I am just partially involved, probably to act as a stand-by for God knows what. Hmm… work’s actually quite bearable for the all the holidays that it brings. Though, there are other aspects which are good too, but that’s another story. I don’t get molested that often now. Ever since last week, when Jon touched my butt and Bre slid his hand across my left breast, I’m pretty okay for today at least.


Sigh… I need to love my work. Otherwise, everything just seems so aimless to me. Moreover, I haven’t seen the need to throw myself into my work yet. Because of this, I go as late as I’m allowed to and leave as early as possible. Maybe, I’ll feel better in the weeks to come and hopefully, I’ll be able to immerse myself in my work and probably enjoy it too. For now, I just have to take one day at a time.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:03 PM ~ ~ ~
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