On course.


I went for a course in the morning with some of my new colleagues and met some of my ex-classmates there. When An saw me, she remarked that I looked every part the executive, especially since I was in my pants suit and had my blazer on.


She was like, “You are really not suited for that place leh. You wear until so nice, wasted lah.”


I: “Yah, I know. I’ve been wondering whether I’ve chosen the right field or not.”


An: “You intend to quit ah?”


I: “No, not yet. I want to work at least a couple of years before I think about what I want to do next. Now’s too soon to think about studying again. Everyone’s been telling me to at least gain the experience first before leaving.”


An: “Go lah. I think that you are more suited to studying than I. Ganbatte ne!”


I: “Thanks! I’ll try my best.”

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 9:05 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

有缘千里来相会，无缘相认不相识。


每当我听见这句话时，我总觉得好奇怪。因为我根本不了解什么叫做缘分。为什么相认过后又可以不相识呢？


自从那天偶然的邂逅之后，我一直无法把他的容貌从脑海里给测除掉。不晓得他是否也是这样想的。想着一个人的滋味你到底了解多少呢？你是否曾经经历过一段长时期，日与继月得想着那个人呢？我有。我试过。我尝试过一张开眼之后就想着他，即使是做功课的时候也会想念着他。连晚上做梦时都会梦见他。好笑吧！


他，就好像一个我永远也躲不了的阴影。虽然时间会冲淡一切，但冲淡的过程中有多么的辛苦，这种感觉你说，有谁能了得呢？当我望着他的背影离去时，我终于明白“道别” 的意思了。无需用言语来表达一切的，彼此的一举一动都已经显示了大家想要说但没有勇气讲出来的话。双方的谦愧有多深，站在一旁的人，经能一目了然了。


If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE (UTF-8). '

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 10:31 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Graduation ceremony part 1.


I went for the first of my graduation ceremony this afternoon with my mum. Xue had lessons until 5pm so she was unable to make it. But we managed to meet up with her for dinner after it ended.


It was fun to attend the ceremony on the one hand, as I was able to meet up with most of my classmates again. But on the other, it was so lonely to be sitting with people I did not know very well in my row. All of us had to be seated about half an hour before it commenced, and we were entertained by the cameramen who panned their tools across the auditorium trying to capture the different emotions of the graduates and their guests. It was hilarious to see the cameras zooming in at people who were taken unawares, and also, at people who made monkey faces and started waving at the cameras when they realised that they were being shot at. I even saw this guy using the plastic bag to cover his head when he discovered that his face was on the large screen.


Now, it was NOT funny when one of the cameramen decided to position his camera in my direction and zoomed in on my face! Sheesh! I was sitting in the third row from the stage in the auditorium, and their was a cameraman right in front of me. He not only zoomed in once, but quite a few times too. And it wasn’t the shoot and go type. The camera was aimed at my face and left to linger for what seemed like eternity! Okay, I got accustomed to it after the first couple of times and decided to ignore it the next time it zoomed in on me. Actually, I found it pretty funny after a while, especially when An, who was sitting near the rear of the auditorium, told me to wave at the camera so that she knew that I had heard her. Yes, we were talking on the phone the whole time while waiting for the ceremony to start! Heeheehee!


Well, it started on time, and the fanfare was sounded for the Council members to enter and take their positions on stage. HA! I saw quite a few familiar faces, my tutors actually. I could pick out from among the faces on the stage, those belonging to the Science and Arts faculty. The sub-deans were also in attendance, and also a minister. After I had gone onstage to collect my folder, I had to return to my seat to wait for the entire thing to end. I was number 38 and there were 502 of us this afternoon. So you can imagine how long I had to wait, and how BORING it was.


Er… what else could I do except to use my handphone to call up people and talk to them? Yup, I hereby admit that I was chatting on my phone throughout the remainder of the ceremony as I was bored to death and I needed to be entertained. I complained to Lil about being bored and she was like, “Wah, then your lecturers on stage would be even worse right? They can’t even chat on the phone and do other things.” I concur!


Did you know? I caught a few of them staring up at the stage lights quite a few times. Now, if I were a photographer and had taken a picture of them doing so, my caption would be: “May the stage lights fall upon us to save us from this boredom.”

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 10:32 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Face from the past.


I was happily doing my stuff this afternoon when the image of someone from the past flashed right in my face. I was taken aback when it happened, as I haven’t been thinking about this person since secondary four.


Time really does aid in changing a person’s appearance. When I last saw TO, he was a dashing young man with a smile that used to make my knees go weak. His voice was really soothing to listen to, one that I feel is the enchanting type. Sparkling eyes, I used to call them, because they seem to captivate the whole essence of you.


Yet when I saw him recently, after so many years, I was aghast at the change that Time had done to him. The voice was raspy and the eyes have lost the sparkles in them. But his smile was still the same, enabling me to nail him as the person from the past. I wonder what could have brought about such a change in him. Some things are better remembered as they were in the past and not now.


Would I, in the years down the road, be subjected to such unforgiving changes or would I be spared the torment of Time? I know that ex-classmates have commented (somewhat unhappily!) that I still looked the same with nary a change in appearance. That I still look like a little girl compared to them, lamenting the fact that Time had been extremely unfair.


Hmm… there are certain advantages to looking your age, I must admit. People tend to take you more seriously when you look less like a child, and they also do not doubt your ability to do a task well. Moreover, you get admitted to places easily without being made to suffer the indignation of having to prove your age! But, looking a decade or more younger than your age does allow you to get away with many things, though not necessarily murder. It all depends on how you handle things anyway.


Ah well, c’est la vie!

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:34 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

A question.


If time and tide wait for no man, would they wait for a female?


I’ve always wondered what this meant when I was younger. Why are they so unwilling to wait for someone? Was it because they were the selfish type or was it because they just did not like humans, period. When I grew older, I slowly understood the meaning of this phrase.


I discovered that the world does not revolve around me only. Rather, I have to keep up with the world’s whims and fancies. If I do not, I will be left behind. Is this then, what is labelled as the rat race? Why do we have this rat race? What purpose does it serve, except to make all of us miserable?


If I had a choice, I would leave this rat race. Believe me, I would. But then again, this choice is not mine to make.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:07 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Shopping spree.


Ever since I came back from Bangkok, I’ve kind of lost the interest to shop. But I went out with Xue and my mum today and I’ve gotten it back again! Heeheehee! You should have seen them at it, trying on clothes and searching for the ones that they wanted. And me, I was standing on one side trying not to look bored.


I can’t wait to fly overseas to shop again. Singapore’s getting somewhat boring and expensive. I’ve already planned my itinerary for my overseas trip in December. The problem is getting people to go with me! Why? Because some of their holidays do not coincide with mine, like Xue and Jos.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:00 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Back to campus!


Whooooppeeee! It’s back to campus again! I love going back there! At least when I’m back there, I can get a reprieve from the mundane routine of working life. I went back to collect my transcript and also, to chat up on some stuff with them. Many of my classmates looked kind of shocked when they saw me, and I don’t wonder why. It was because I was dressed differently from what I usually wear to school! *wink*


Let’s see. I was in an orange tube, white flared-out skirt and I had a yellow cardigan on too. My shoes were little heels with the 3 colours, I was carrying a black bag and I had my new pair of spectacles on. Someone asked me why I looked so “娇” (read: vain; pronounce it as ‘qiao’, second sound). And my reply was, “Not studying anymore what! So can be vain now mah. In school must look the blur and stupid type. Now graduate already, I don’t have to restrict myself what! 不爱美的话, 就不是女生了!”” They all laughed when they heard my reply.


The funniest thing was when I saw this year-2 Physics guy (we were in the same class for one of the Essential modules) snapping at me with his Samsung phone when I wasn’t prepared for it! Sheesh! I retaliated by taking pictures of him too!


After that I went to collect my assignment before leaving campus. I went to look for Dr A in his office, as I wanted to apologise to him for being extremely rude to him over the phone on Monday morning. But as luck would have it, Dr A wasn’t in. So I got Mr C to pass the message to him instead. Thinking back, I really was very impolite that morning and I hope that he would not take it to heart. Sorry Dr A!


If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE (UTF-8). '

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:50 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Buffet dinner, my treat!


The workshop ended early today, so I decided to head for Lil’s house which was in the vicinity. I went to the toilet before leaving and saw one of my classmates there so I stayed to chat a little with her. She told me that I looked very nice in skirts and that I should ditch all of my bermudas and just stick to skirts. Hahaha! I said that she is not the first person to complain about my “berms and Ts” appearance in school, most of my classmates have already done so. Anyway, I study better when I’m comfortably dressed, especially when I have a habit of sitting cross-legged on a chair, even in the lecture theatres.


We met Ying at Merchant Court Hotel’s café for the dinner. Yes, they all asked for a treat as I’ve gotten my Second Upper and I happily obliged! Anything (within reason and purse strings!) for my chums. Midway through the meal, we happened to be discussing about boyfriends when Lun asked me when do I intend to get one. Gee, I honestly don’t know. I mean, how do you know when it is time to start a relationship with someone? He said that the best time for me to do so is now, and not later when I’ve gotten my Masters and PhD, since I’m more interested in studying. Curious, I asked him why.


Lun: “Because not many men can accept the fact that their girlfriends have higher qualifications and earn more than them.”


I: “So childish and silly!”


God, I wouldn’t want a man like this too. What’s with men like this?! If they can be better than women, why can’t we be better than them?! But I can understand a bit of it after all. It has everything to do with the male ego thing. God help them!

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:53 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Frog-making activity.


I seemed to be in the verse-writing mode today. Must have been affected by yesterday’s bout of Degas. I haven’t been writing verses or if you prefer call to it, poems for a very long time, since April 2004. Why? Because I lost the mood to write after that semester. Sigh…

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 9:35 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Fast writing.


The second day of the workshop saw my Psychology tutor as the speaker. Am I glad to see her again as she reminds me of the many wonderful moments that I’ve spent on campus. I wish I were back there again, rushing for my lectures and tutorials, instead of being out working.


There was this activity that caught my attention. It was the one where she showed one of Degas’ paintings.




When I saw the above, the word “enthralled” suddenly came to mind and I started writing a few lines in response to the picture:

Now, I know that this isn’t what one would term a poem, as I seemed to have broken all the rules of poetry. But for something that was written in less than 5 minutes, I think that it’s pretty okay anyway! :0)

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 10:30 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Gossip session.


I met up with Ying and Lil for a little gossip fest over lunch, dinner and shopping yesterday. Bought a pink top, but NO shoes and handbags. It was quite late when we went to Marriott’s lounge and sat down to chat.


Ying was paranoid that she might become a psychotic bitch like one of her superiors, and we assured that she most certainly would not be like that. I wonder what type of person a psychotic bitch is. Is she one who is man-crazy, bossy, irritating or just plain bitchy? Or will she be a combination of all these and more? I definitely DO NOT want to meet with this type of people. GET THEE GONE!


I have a workshop later on in the morning and I wonder how on earth am I going to get up for it, much less stay awake during the session. Sigh… Yah, the organisation signed me up for a series of 4 workshops from Monday to Thursday, 9am to 4pm. They are supposed to help me cope with my work much more effectively. I wonder…

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 2:03 AM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Memory.


The girl sat on her bed and flipped through her photo albums, travelling back in time to the days when she was a mere babe. How happy she was then! How carefree and easy it was to live through Life’s daily visits then. All the smiles given so willingly and happily, without a trace of unhappiness or sadness on the babe’s face.


As she flipped the albums and Time took her on his journey, sketching the years for her to see, the smiles came less readily on the face of the girl in the pictures. Not only were they more hesitant, one could see a tinge of shadows in her face. The kind that threatens to take over one’s life if one weren’t careful to keep them at bay. The girl drew a finger down one of her pictures and looked at herself in the mirror.


“Why do I look different?” she asked the Wind, who was blowing outside her window. It entered her room upon her call, reaching out to caress her face before replying.


Wind: “Do you feel any different at all?”


Girl: “I… look less happy now. I look tired, worn-out and weary. I look like I do not belong here at all.”


Wind: “You most certainly do belong here my dear. No mortal ever looked as sweet as you. None as loving as you. Never is there one who understands like you. You look different, not because you are different, but because of Life and her experiences.”


Girl: “What of Life and her experiences? What does she have to do with me?”


Wind: “Each of us, as we grow in the way that we are destined to, will experience some things that Life has to offer. Each time that we accept her offer, somewhere, some part of us will retain and remember it. We do not discard it. No, we do not. We look different because we have to remember so many things, and they cause our brows to furrow. But we do not become different as well.”


Girl: “Why?”


Wind: “Because we are not meant to be. You are meant to be yourself, the girl whom I’ve always known. You are meant to be you and no one else. When Life offers you dour experiences, they may bring about a change in your outward appearance. But it should never affect your inner soul such that it gets altered too. The burden is only meant to be external and not internal. Take away all these unpleasant experiences and you’ll get the you that has always been there, buried beneath that mountain-load of pressure.”


Girl: “I don’t want all these experiences! They make me look different! Tell Life not to offer them to me, please.”


Wind: “No one can tell Life what to do. Not you, not I. It is what she has to do. Each of us has a part to play in Life, and accepting her offers is one of them. With Life, comes the element of Change. This is the essence of Life. It is the one law which governs all living things in the universe. We cannot stop it, though we can delay it. But to do so would be to flout the rules of Life which controls all of us, and this is useless. Because ultimately, Change will take place. Once it does, it is reflected on our external selves.”


Girl: “I will still be the same inside? I will not be different?”


Wind: “Yes, you will still be the same dear girl. You will not be different, no matter how different you may look on the surface.”


Girl: “Will you still be my friend if one day I should look different?”


Wind: “Yes, I will. I will always be your friend no matter what happens in the future. Trust me, you will not be different.”


Girl: “I am glad,” and with this, she smiled.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:58 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Sleeping in.


I was so tired after reaching home last night that I only woke up around 12pm. I missed my bed so much! Not to mention my computer, books, stuffed toys, cup etc… Oh yah, I missed my granny too, and we brought her the dried vegetables that she wanted from Bangkok.


My uncle’s pretty much better now. He came down with dengue and was admitted to the hospital during the time that I was away. My mum told me that everybody in the family who went to visit him asked her where I was. They were wondering about my non-appearance and why I wasn’t there to visit my uncle, especially when I’m his favourite niece. My granny told them that I was in Bangkok and she saw no reason why I should be informed of his admittance, as it would spoil my trip. Anyway, my mum only told me about it the second day of his hospital stay, after which I immediately dialed his number to talk to him.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 8:16 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Back to Singapore.


It’s really funny what happens to Lil whenever she wants to buy a pair of shoes. Most of the time she will hear the salesgirl tell her this, “Madame, this shoe no have your size. 1 size 1 colour, 1 pattern. This no have.” And then you’ll see her fuming mad! Poor thing! It got to the point when she just bought whatever she could fit and looks nice in, and not what she looks extremely good in! Me? I was luckier and bought 15 pairs of shoes! Yup! FIFTEEN of them, at 199 baht each, about S$8.20.


Am I glad to be going back home! Why? Because I spent all of my Thai baht there and even had to change S$200 more. Whew! Anyway, it’s was time to return to reality after 1 week. A surfeit of too good a thing won’t do me well at all. But I’ll be back before long, to shop and eat again in Bangkok. Hmm… probably in December when I have to transit at its airport on my way to visit my brothers and their families! :0)

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:59 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Last minute shopping!


It was our second last day in Bangkok before we have to go home tomorrow, so it was a great chance for some last-minute shopping and eating. Lil forgot to buy her little heart-shaped pens from Yaowarat, so we went back there right after breakfast. Unfortunately for her, the shop was closed! But all wasn’t lost, as we managed to buy 10 handbags at the price of 150 baht each, which is like S$6.20, between the 3 of us.


Then it was back to Isetan where we bought lots of bras, hitting more than 7000 baht between Lil and I, before we went to Erawan for lunch at Crystal Jade restaurant. Eh, the food is really cheaper than in Singapore, no joke. Even Baker’s Inn is also cheaper, though by a margin for its desserts. Can you guess where we went after that? I’m sure you can! It’s MBK, what else right? And Pizza Hut for dinner some more!

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 10:35 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Grand Palace.


We went to Grand Palace this morning and boy, were we lucky that I reminded Lil and Lun to bring closed-up shoes and long pants along to Bangkok. This is because visitors to the Palace must be properly attired and no slippers are allowed to be worn into it. I fell in love with the place upon entry! Beautiful place, pretty gardens and wonderful craftsmanship.















In the afternoon, we went to Isetan and Kinokuniya, where I bought a couple of books. For lunch, we had Sizzler and it was really cheap and delicious! After that, we returned to where else, but MBK again for more shoes and bras-buying and then dinner at Pizza Hut.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:40 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Shopping, here we come!


Last night when we arrived at the hotel, I witnessed something that I never imagined I would see at all. There was a bit of a mix-up with our rooms, so we waited for a while for the staff to sort it out, when along strolled this fat and ugly man, with his stomach sticking out, to the reception. We heard him telephone to someone in English and after he had put down the phone, he spoke very softly to one of the hotel staff and they then went aside to talk in what seemed like whispers to us.


Shortly after, this middle-aged man in blue shirt and jeans entered the hotel accompanied by a slim long-haired woman in clothes that were somewhat snug. They attempted to enter the lift, but were stopped by one of the hotel people. The man spoke to the receptionist in Thai while the woman stood at one side and tapped her leg impatiently. Then, the man spoke to someone over the phone and within minutes, both man and woman were allowed to enter the lift.


It was at this moment that Lun told us that the fat man was requesting for a prostitute when he drew the hotel person to a side. Apparently, the man who came with the woman was the pimp, who had to accompany his charge on her booking. I don’t know what happened to the pimp after that because we were showed to our rooms then. After dumping our stuff in the rooms (we had connecting ones, 314 and 315), we took a cab to Patpong. It was nearing 11pm when we got there and the first thing we did was to look for a place to eat, so we headed for Nooch (otherwise known as Noodi) as it’s the one place that seemed easy to find.


You know, when we were walking along sidewalk that’s in front of the bars, I looked in and saw them overflowing with customers and many long-legged girls in skimpy bikinis. Some of them are really very pretty, but I wonder just how many of them were born female. As we walked along the streets, peddlers would shove a piece of small cardboard in front of Lun and asked him whether he wanted to buy. Curious, I decided to read the words on the cardboard the next time one was presented to him and saw these words on it, “SEX VCDs and DVDs”. And I thought that it was something interesting! Cheh! Boring!


It’s really great that breakfast is provided during our stay at the hotel, otherwise we’ll probably be spending lots of money on it every morning. After our feast, if you can call it one, we left for Yaowarat, or Chinatown. I love that place! There are so many things to buy and things are just so cheap. Although the streets are pretty cramped, but the joy of squeezing down them is when you suddenly spot that little obscure thing that has eluded you for a long time and finally managed to buy it! The feeling’s akin to that of having finally found your long-lost friend.


We left that place after spending about 4 hours there and headed for MBK centre, laden with all sorts of bags. Once there, Lil and I immediately switched to our “bras and shoes” mode. I bought 7 pairs of shoes that day and even went had 4 pairs of spectacles made! I didn’t buy any bras today as nothing caught my fancy yet.





Towards evening, we went to Loft at Siam Discovery Centre to shop for Cookie’s clothes. Eh, they really do have lots of cute stuff there! But a little expensive too. I think that we were too caught up with shopping that we neglected to take note of the time for dinner. By the time we realised that it was high time to eat, many of the stores were already closing and we hurriedly scoured for a place to fill our stomach. Needless to say, we headed for Noodi again.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:59 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Getting ready.


I haven’t finished packing for Bangkok this evening! My mum’s more anxious about the trip than I am, even though she’s not the one going. 真的是皇上不急，太监急！It’s not too bad actually, considering that I only started packing at 12pm today. Have a great week! See you when I’m back! :0)


If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE (UTF-8). '

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 1:23 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

The Reason.


I was listening to the radio when Hoobastank’s “The Reason” came on. It reminded me of someone whom I’ve known for an extremely long time. I’ve let this person down some years ago and I’ve never truly gotten over it. Because the hurt still lingers on.


I want to tell you that I’m sorry for all that I’ve done to make you sad. Things that were done that made you cry, I’m sorry, really. Because of you, I’ve changed myself. I’ve started over anew. I think that I’ll just let these lyrics explain my feelings.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 10:43 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Flying off!


My parents informed me that they will foot the bill for my little trip overseas today! YYYYYYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO! I’m leaving on Monday, 13th June, but I won’t be going alone. Lil and Lun are going with me, and I think that we’ll have a blast! Yeah, especially with me as the BIG lightbulb, but thankfully, I have a room all to myself!


They didn’t know what to get me for obtaining my Second Upper, so they decided that they’d just pay for my trip. Well, it’s definitely better than getting me something that I don’t like! I know what reward I want, but they can’t get it for me anyway. Do you know what I want? Heeheehee! I’m sure you do! Come on! *wink*wink* ^_^


So where am I going? Back to Bangkok! Why? Because it’s near enough for a short holiday and I didn’t want to return to Hong Kong. I’m getting quite sick of it after my yearly visits there. Moreover, my friends won’t be there this Summer as they’ve gone to the States to visit their relatives. Sigh…


Actually I wanted to go and visit my sisters-in-law, as I haven’t seen them for more than a year. But dad was like, it’s not worth paying more than S$1000 for the air ticket and staying there for less than 2 weeks. True. Whenever I visit them at the end of the year, I would stay for at least a month. My brothers have become such thickheads after marriage. They were workaholics before marriage, but after it, they seemed to have become hard-core ones! Ah well, at least I have my sisters-in-law to keep me company, and my nieces and nephew too. My second sister-in-law told me recently that the one in her tummy is a boy, due sometime in August to September.


I can’t wait for November to arrive so that I can play with the latest arrival! :0)

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:20 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Footprints in the sands of time.


Every minute of the day brings me closer to the time when I have to leave the harbour that I’ve been in for the past four years of my life. I don’t want to leave, I really do not. Just when I’ve gotten so comfortable in the routine of attending lectures and tutorials, and churning out 2000-word essays, I have to graduate. Shucks! I wish that I could study forever, never mind that I won’t be earning an income. But, like what many people have told me, this is just wishful thinking.


I enjoy school a lot, as it is the one place where I feel very happy and at ease in. I only have to be responsible for myself and my studies, both of which are relatively simple to do. After four wonderful years, I’ve managed to ferret out quite a number of hiding places for myself, like the different libraries, often concealing myself in one of them whenever I want some peace and quiet, or when I want to hide from my classmates. Tranquility is very difficult to find in school, especially when you have classmates like mine, who I think suffer from SEPARATION ANXIETY!


Yet, I know that the time will come when I have to leave the harbour and embark on the next stage of my journey. When it arrives, I want to be able to sail out of my shelter like many others before me: with poise and confidence, to tackle whatever that comes my way in the future. I know that I am not the forefront kind of person, rather, I prefer to work behind the scenes, toiling away, happily doing my stuff. Perhaps it all boils down to this – I don’t want to be blasted for my ineptitude, if any at all.


When I leave the place, I know that I will not be truly gone, as a tiny part of me will be left in it. The Walls will ring with my laughter, the Trees will whisper my name and the Flowers will sway for me. I know that I will miss the Library, for many a times have I sat curled up on a chair within it, while it showered me with its Love and Knowledge. Yes, often have I spent willing it to yield its secrets to me, and it has never failed me. It is not only the environment which will remember me, the people that I’ve come into contact with, will too. For somehow, someway, I’ve made an impression on them, however slight it may be, and they too me.


It is just like the footprints that one finds in the sand. Though the seas may rush to shore and wash them away, they will not be truly gone. Because what matters is that they have once been imprinted in the sand. Just like everything and everyone have been imprinted in my memory, my subconscious. They will always be in my heart and mind, always with me. From the start of it all till eternity, I will not forget.


天下没有不散的宴席。每一个人到了某个阶段时，终究是要离开去开始另一个阶段，寻找生命中的意义。但是，别离的时间总是最痛苦的。因为不单单只跟环境道别，还得和其他的人道别。虽然这是一件让我辛酸的事，但我不会伤心的太久。因为我知道，我已经拥有了这一生中最快了的四年。很感激上天赐给我这个美丽的机会，让我邂逅了许多人和物，使我体会到人生的奥妙，生命的奇迹。




If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE (UTF-8). '

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 10:35 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Where your heart leads you.


The girl stood at the platform and waited. She has been waiting for this train for a long, long time. Waiting, waiting, waiting, ever so patiently. Would it take her to a place where she can find happiness? Or would it take her to a place full of pain and suffering? Where, she doesn’t know, except that she must board a train, otherwise Regrets will be her friend.


Standing there, the girl called out to the Wind, her beloved friend, who was blowing in the skies.


Girl: “Will you tell me what lies ahead for me?”


Wind: “Why do you want to know? Isn’t it better not to know too much? Ignorance is bliss and Knowledge is a source of trouble.”


Girl: “To be Ignorant is to be a Fool, while to have Knowledge is to have Power. Why must I be contented to know only so much? Why can’t I know about my life?”


Wind: “No one knows what lies ahead for you my friend. You just have to take Life as it unfolds its secrets. Life is all about Change, without which, there would be Stagnation. Do not resist what Life has planned for you. Embrace it and you will find Life more bearable.”


Girl: “I am afraid, very afraid of what lies ahead! I don’t want to be engulfed by uncertainties which I am unable to escape from. I am scared that I cannot cope with what Life has to offer me. I don’t want to disappoint all the people who have pinned such high hopes on me.”


Wind: “Life was not and will never be a bed of roses. To experience Life is to experience all the Sorrows and Happiness that Life has in store for you. In Life, it is inevitable that we will be hosts to them. Do not let them get you down. Rather, you must be strong so that you will be able to overcome them.”


Girl: “Will you take me away from this place? I don’t want to stay here anymore! Please, please, take me with you, my dear sweet Wind. Life is frightening. More so than ever, now that I’ve come to this moment in Life when I have to ensure that I take the correct train. But I don’t even know which is the correct one!”


With this, the girl gave a loud sob and flung herself on the seat by the platform, crying her heart out. It was so heart-wrenching that the birds sang their songs to soothe her, while Wind blew lightly at her.


Wind: “Don’t cry, please don’t cry! I promise you that I will bring you away with me one day. But this is not the day. You are still young. Such an innocent and naïve child like you, should not think about going away. Stay and experience all that Life has to offer you. And if you do not like it, I will take you away. But stay, stay for the moment. Do not give up. You are not a born loser. This I know. My dear sweet girl, you are a fighter like all others before you. Hold on for as long as you can. To give up is to acknowledge Defeat and this is not in your nature at all. No, it is not. Follow your heart my friend, follow your heart. ”


Girl: “I give you my word that I will not relinquish my hold on Life. But give me yours, that you will be with me whenever I need you.”


Wind: “I give you my word.”

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 8:10 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Pigging out.


I went to collect my gowns for the convocation this morning before meeting Yee in the afternoon. We went shopping for her clothes at Orchard and An met us for buffet at Heeren’s Sakae Sushi.


Boy, was the meal filling!

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:29 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Lexus SC 430 Convertible!


I met up with La, Yee and Andd today, as the four of us have been too busy with school to sit down and just chat. We had high tea at Marriott Café without Andd initially as his car fell sick and he had to send it for consultation. The moral of the story is this: NEVER buy a second-hand car and drive it across the causeway for dinner daily! He only got his last week, but he has been driving there for dinner every night! It is no wonder that his car would be ill. It is overworked!








After the high tea, La drove us to her new house which is only 5 minutes away from the hotel in her new car. I LOVE HER CAR! It’s a black Lexus SC 430 convertible! The one with a retractable roof and everything nice!











Andd was waiting near her house in his 1991 Nissan and after parking her car, Andd drove us to SMU, about 2 minutes away, before we adjourned to the nearby Botanic Gardens for a “romantic” little stroll. Andd had a plate of fried rice at the café by the Visitors’ Centre as he hadn’t had his dinner yet, and we chatted about school and other stuff while he ate. I was being my usual self, taking pictures of all things interesting with my camera phones. The dogs there are really very cute! This Caucasian guy even carried his doggie, Rosie, to the table beside me and let me snap a picture of her!








After the Botanic Gardens, we went back to La’s house to indulge in some gossip and basically, to catch up with each other. They asked me about my Panda and whether we have progressed. I told them that it’s very difficult to do so and anyway, when I see him now, the feeling is just not the same as last time. I used to want to catch a glimpse of him every day in the past, but now, whether I see him or not is not so important anymore. If I see him, fine. If not, it’s not the end of the world for me. That Panda seems to go around with a sore head most of the time, making me miserable usually.


Andd: “What type of guys do you like?”


I: “Intellectual guys. You know, guys with solid intellect up there. He must also have a sense of humour and can joke and laugh at himself. Looks don’t really matter lah. Reasonable looking can liao. Anyway, I’m also not that great-looking!”


Andd: “Why ah? What’s so good about them?”


I: “Don’t you find people like that very appealing? I do, you know. It’s so tough to find guys like that in school. Except, unless, if you count the lecturers.”


La: “Why don’t you consider your lecturers instead?”


Andd: “Yah, why not?”


I: “Come on lah. I don’t think that any one of them will be interested in starting a relationship with a student lor. There will be a barrier between us anyway. But I don’t mind if any one of them were to ask me!”


La: “You can make the first move. Nowadays it’s common to see girls making the first move in asking a guy out. Try asking him out for coffee or the movies lah. If he’s interested in you, he’ll suggest another date even when he can’t make it. Otherwise, he’ll probably just find some flimsy excuse to say ‘no’.”


I: “Tough lah. Even if I like, I also don’t dare to. I mean, it’ll be damn embarrassing if he rejects me. I’m scared of rejection. Most people are. Imagine that you’re a lecturer and a student asks you out. What would you do?”


Andd: “Like what La said, I’ll try and keep the date if I’m interested in the girl. If not, I’ll just say that I can’t make it and don’t set a future date. But I’ll not give some stupid excuse about not wanting to go.”


I: “You’re all thinking too far and too much! If it happens, it will happen lah. No point rushing such things. Besides, I’m just a little girl! It’ll be damn surprising if it does. I mean, look at me. People normally think that I’m like 16 to 18. And the lecturers in school are how old? 30 or maybe even 40. You think that they want a girlfriend who looks so much younger than them? Not likely lor!”


La: “You haven’t met one yet. When you do, you’d know that age is no barrier when you like someone. Like means like.”


I: “Maybe lor. I’ll just take things as they come. I wish that there was a standard set of procedures telling me what to do about such things.”


La: “Don’t have lah! You wait long long!”


Andd: “Everybody’s different. You cannot use another’s experience to measure.”


La: “Yah. And relationships that start very suddenly, end very suddenly also.”


I: “Aiyah, why are relationships so difficult?! Like that I’d rather study and marry my books!”


As we chatted, I was playing with La’s Snowy, a beautiful female Maltese, just like Tintin’s, but a bit lacking in the intelligence department.





After relaxing and drinking the Chinese Gongfu tea that La made for us, we went for a drive along the CTE to Toa Payoh in her Lexus. This time round, Andd took the wheel and I sat beside him. I also pressed the button for the roof to retract and it was just pure heaven sitting in the car and feeling the wind in my face as we zipped along the expressway, overtaking the traffic! But it wasn’t that great for Yee and La who had to sit behind us! The seats at the back are not as comfortable as those in front! :0)





After that, Andd sent Yee and I home. Yay! I got to ride in 2 new cars today!

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:58 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

People say…


I called my Social Studies tutor, Ms T, to tell her my results this afternoon. She told me that she was happy for me and that a Second Upper is considered very good and said that this time round the drinks are on me! :0)


Other teachers asked me about my results so I told them. They told me that it is already considered extremely good to get such a result as many people don’t even have an Honours degree. Apparently, Honours is only for the top 20% or 30% of the entire cohort and I should consider myself extremely lucky to be among them, and a Second Upper some more.


No doubt getting this is good in a way, but I still feel pretty insecure because it’s not a First Class. At least with a First Class, things will be slightly easier for me and I won’t have such a difficult time getting certain things done. But I do acknowledge that I am not a straight ‘A’ student, though it is not for want of trying. At the very least I know that I am, like what one teacher told me today, an above average student.


Another teacher said that I have very high expectations of myself. Yes, I do not deny the fact. I feel that if I do not set such high expectations for myself, I would not accomplish anything. For without a goal to reach for, life is not worth living, to me, that is. I judge myself on a higher platform than others. What others expect of themselves, I expect twice or even three times more of myself. A ‘C’ to me is extremely bad, just a pass, while a ‘B’ is average or not good even, and only an ‘A’ is good. Among all these grades, the ‘C’ is the worst that I can get. Because it is not only highly embarrassing to have a ‘C’ to my name, it also juts out like a sore thumb. Disgraceful, detrimental and devastating.


This is just the way that I am programmed and sometimes, it’s hard to lower my standards.


Ever since the results were released online, I’ve been avoiding all of my classmates save for An. I am closer to her than to other people in my course. Why? Because she is my friend, and a genuine one at that. Unlike some people who try to be friends with me because they want to borrow my notes. Ha! I detest such people! I willingly lent An my notes during the semesters that we’ve spent together, and she too, did the same for me.


Everyone has been trying to ask An about my results but she has been sworn to secrecy not to tell the whole truth. She only told them that I’ve gotten Honours, not sure what class. She said that people have been guessing that I’ve gotten either a Third Class or Second Lower. She said that she was amused that many people think that I’m a pretty bad student! Both of us can’t wait to see the shock on their faces when they find out my real results on graduation day! Heeheehee!


You know, I have this funny feeling that they will be throwing daggers at me with their eyes during convocation, especially this guy called K. He also got a Second Upper. But according to him and many of our classmates, he is very good in his studies. I tell you, he’ll be VERY surprised to learn of my results. Because he and most of my classmates think that I’m in the Pass section!


The lesson to be learnt by them is this: Never underestimate someone, especially a female. She can surprise you when you least expected it. Or as the Chinese say: 真人不漏相。:0)


If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE (UTF-8).

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 6:16 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Lunch at T2.


I went for a sponsored lunch at Changi Airport’s T2 this afternoon. The food’s quite good as I had my lunch at Swensens. Then I met my uncle at the book fair at Suntec to buy my books. He bought me some of the Classics that I’ve been thinking about getting but didn’t have the time to do so.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 8:22 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

PC Show.


Yee and I went for the PC show at the Expo this afternoon. It’s high time that she bought a digital camera so that I can have mine back! Hahaha! Really, I’ve lent it to her for about 2 years and I think that she should have one of her own to take the pictures that she wants.


We spent nearly 4 hours there, browsing, eating, then buying. Yee initially wanted to buy LOTS of stuff, but I advised her to buy things that she really needed. Not things that she wanted! She wanted Sony’s DSC-W5 so we approached one of the guys at the counter to check out its features.


The guy who attended to us was very funny! My handphone rang halfway through my conversation with him and it turned out to be An who was looking for me in the crowds. He heard me giving An directions to where I was standing and started waving his hands in the air for An to see! Thanks to him, An found me in less than a minute. She was there with her boyfriend as he wanted to buy something, not sure what.


She told me that she was still smarting about her results and I told her that at least she passed everything and will graduate with me and the rest of the cohort. I didn’t tell her that I too, was feeling dour over one particular module of mine – Translation. Ah well, at least I’ve gotten my Second Upper! :0)

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 10:29 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Honoured with Honours!


It’s always the same. Whenever the results are released, I am invariably not at home. Never once (if I remember correctly) did I manage to check my results once I received the SMSes from my classmates about it.


I was at Wisma’s Isetan shopping with Lil and Lun when An messaged me to inform me that the results were out. Now, when I got that message, my heart sank to the ground and I lost the mood to shop. Lil and Lun were like, “You sure get at least a Second Upper lah. Won’t get lower than that lah.”


It’s so nice to have friends who have so much confidence in me! I really don’t think that I’ve been doing that well in school anyway. I mean, I have gotten Cs before so that puts me out of the running for First Class Honours. I know that I’m not the best student in the entire English and Literature cohort, but thankfully, I am not the worst! This is certainly a consolation for me. Yes, I’ve passed my final examinations with Second Upper Honours! I was ecstatic when I saw my results!


At a time when many of my friends and classmates are happily in a relationship, with some planning to get married, I am bent on studying and doing well. I know that I am not the marrying kind (yet), so I channel all of my energy into my studies. At least with a Second Upper, I have a chance to apply to do my Masters in the future. I really want to continue studying. It’s really very fun to study. I enjoy searching for stuff to support my stand in my essays and I just love writing the essays! I acknowledge the fact that I am weird. Well, this is ME and you just have to accept it. :0)


Thanks be to God. For allowing me to pass everything well and to graduate on time.


Lord, I am grateful to you for having heard my prayers and helping me to obtain my Honours. I give thanks to our Lord.


Lord, in a world where failure is unforgivable, you have shown me that there is a future after that one failed attempt. I give thanks to our Lord.


Lord, you gave me strength to carry on when I was lingering in the shadows of uncertainty. I give thanks to our Lord.


Lord, at the time when others scorned and deserted me, you stood by my side and never once did you doubt me. I give thanks to our Lord.


Lord, for all that you have done for me and for all the prayers of mine that thou art wilt hear, I give thanks to you our Lord.

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 11:55 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

我的记忆。


Jocie，你知道吗，世界上根本就没有两全其美的事。这些都是诗人和政治家所造的谎言。倘若喜欢一个人，而他又可以喜欢自己的话你说，这是多么美满的事。但是在咱们的现实生活里根本就没有这种的。要是有的话，就是可遇不可求了。


我们一生中所遇到的人超过几万个，但深深刻在自己的记忆里的人就得那么几个而已。我也曾经想过甭去喜欢一个人，但是我控制不了自己的情绪，自己的那棵心。喜欢一个人虽然是那么一件痛苦的事，但不喜欢一个人的话，就等于强迫自己不要把窗打开，让阳光和幸福切近人生。要是给我选，我还是会选择去喜欢那个人。虽然这会让我感到痛苦和悲哀，我还是会错下去的。因为我是明知故犯。


我对他的记忆是永恒的。只要我还活着的话，我这一生中是不会把那只“熊”给忘了。感情可以慢慢的淡去，可是记忆不会。尤其是那么一个深入自己的心灵的一个人，那就更加不会了。人们都说女人是善变的，这句话我无可否认。但女人的记忆是不变的。


你说的对，这就是人生。冥冥之中已经注定我们要尝试命里的酸、甜、苦、辣, 否则生命就会缺乏味道和乐趣。我知道，等我人老珠黄的那一天，当我坐在摇椅回忆起年轻时候所有美好的事时，我的眼前就会浮现出熊熊的样貌。就是他现在的样子。因为我已经把他最完美的一面藏在内心的一部分了。


先放手的人是我，怨不得别人。我想，此时此刻的他因该还未能知道我为何这样做。既然没有开始，就不能讲究未来。虽然彼此的友情有点疏远了，但这是难免的，因为大家都忙着自己的学业和生活。只要友谊长久的话，我想我就会感到安慰了。


If you CANNOT see the Chinese words above, click 'VIEW', then 'ENCODING', then 'UNICODE (UTF-8).

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 1:03 AM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?

Tears.


I went shopping with my mother this afternoon. I wasn’t needed in the office, so they let me off early. We went shopping for her shoes and bought some food before taking the train home.


When we entered the train, I saw this girl sitting on her mother’s left, crying for all she was worth! She kept on saying “Mummy buy for me” in Mandarin as she cried. I laughed when I saw her crying! It was really very funny! I’m not being wicked, but it doesn’t pay to cry when you desperately want something. Come on, mothers are not usually moved by tears. If I ever have children in the future, I also will not give in to my kids’ tears and tantrums. Reason with me and you’ll probably be able to get your way.


That poor girl cried for the distance of nearly 9 MRT stations before she grew exhausted and stopped crying. I wonder what it was that she desperately wanted her mother to buy for her?

~ ~ ~ Skye's telling at 7:00 PM ~ ~ ~
Hey! Are you in on the secret yet?